No Coincidences

Tag: Prayer

  • Ivy and Jesus with the Light

    Ivy and Jesus with the Light

    I was working on my laptop and Ivy saw a picture. It was an abstract-looking drawing of a long-haired individual meditating.

    Ivy said, “It’s Jesus.”

    Her and Sage say this if they see pretty much any image of a long-haired individual.

    It makes me happy every time.

    I chuckled.

    Then Ivy said, “Show Jesus with the light.”

    I paused like you often have to do when talking with 4-year-olds to figure out what she meant.

    Jesus with the light…

    Hmm…

    Then it came to me what she meant. I pulled up this image and showed it to her:

    “Yes! That’s it!” She looked fondly at the picture.

    My happiness turned to joy.

    This picture has a special place in my heart as it was once an answer to prayer that I’ve remembered ever since.

    When I was just returning to church, I attended a fireside one Sunday evening. I dragged Chris along with me. As he and I were walking around the church building halls before the meeting got started, we paused at the above picture, which is present in so many of our church buildings.

    We both looked at it.

    “Why do they look the same?” Chris asked.

    Huh. I’d looked at this picture at least 346,000 times but never really realized or thought about it. They did look the same. I didn’t know the answer.

    Chris shrugged and moved on. I was kind of annoyed I didn’t know the answer to a question I felt I should know. Or at the very least something I should have noticed in my 346,001 viewing of the painting.

    We went into the fireside.

    The speaker was introduced and he stood to speak. He powered on a projector and an image was displayed behind him. 

    Drum roll please.

    You guessed it.

    The image displayed was none other than the painting Chris and I had just been observing in the hall.

    The speaker began, “Does anyone know why the figures in this image look so much alike?”

    My head jerked to look at Chris next to me. Was he hearing this?!

    The speaker went on to explain that the scriptures tell us that Jesus Christ is in the express image of His father. Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father look alike. Makes sense, He is His Son, after all.

    I can’t remember why the speaker talked about this. It wasn’t a major point. It was something I think he assumed most of us knew (I didn’t!). He proceeded onto his main point that I can’t remember.

    I was shocked.

    Chris asked a question. We received an answer.

    I considered this a miracle.

    I think Chris shrugged and thought, ‘what a coincidence.’

    I have joy today because I came back to church. I have joy today because I consider every day what Jesus Christ did for me yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I have joy today because Ivy and Sage say “Jesus!” every time they see an image of a long-haired man.

    NoCoincidences.

  • Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    *This was written in 2022. No I did not forget about my other daughters or Bengie’s death.

    The morning of the 4th of July I woke up to a disaster. Our dog, Bengie, was not feeling well, and despite letting him out a combined 9 times between Beth and myself throughout the night, there was dog poop everywhere in our house. Everywhere. Bedroom, dining room, living room, by front door, bathroom. It was insane.

    Needless to say, my day wasn’t starting the way I wanted it to. I was hoping to sleep in a little and I was up at 7am cleaning dog poop everywhere. Literally everywhere.

    As I was walking around cleaning up, and fuming, I realized I was headed toward a ruined day. I was so upset. I realized my day was going to be horrible if I let it. A ruined day. I immediately tried to change my mindset, but it was so hard. I just couldn’t let it go. Stupid dog! I didn’t mean that, I love Bengie, but ugh. Ruining my day off!

    Finally, I got everything cleaned up and I realized I was not getting over this frustration. It was so embedded in my mind. I couldn’t stop being mad.

    I usually meditate first thing in the morning. Since my routine was so crudely interrupted, I hadn’t yet. I went to do my normal meditation. At the end of the meditation, I asked God to please help me get over my frustration and not let it destroy my day. I asked Him to help me to move on and be able to enjoy my day with my family.

    I came out of the room after meditating and Beth and Ivy were both on the couch. I was happy. I can’t explain it. The craziest part was, I forgot about it. I know it’s hard for someone reading this to understand, but this thing that was eating away at my mind and happiness, this gripe and frustration that I couldn’t let go of, was gone. I didn’t realize it until I said my prayer before bed that night. I knelt and started to say my prayer. I was thanking Heavenly Father for how great the day was and how much fun I had with Beth and Ivy and how much we got done around the house and that’s when it hit me. I remembered how the day started. The ordeal had literally been wiped from my mind. I hadn’t even remembered it happened until that moment. And then I got to thank God for allowing me to move passed my frustration that morning.

    It’s not normal to just forget starting your day with 90 minutes (not joking) of cleaning up poop in your home. But it had completely left my mind after that morning prayer and meditation. I realized what God had done for me. I’d asked for help moving on and not being frustrated, and He had removed it from my mind. I was able to have joy that day, not dwelling on how it didn’t start just how I wanted it to. In the grand scheme, was that morning clean-up that big a deal? It could have been. If I let it sour and ruin a great day with my family. Again, I know someone reading this might not understand. But that is an answer to prayer. And I’m grateful for it.

    It wasn’t until typing this, and trying to put the timeline together, that I remembered something else about that morning. I was on call that day for work. After finishing cleaning up after Bengie, I had a work emergency that I had to spend 90 more minutes on. 3 hours of cleanup and work on my Fourth of July. I had completely forgotten about it. It ended up being a great day. My mood, by an actual miracle, was not affected.

    What is the power of positive thinking?

    What is the power of prayer?

    I was recently reading about the Ten Commandments in True to the Faith. The Tenth Commandment said this:

    “‘Thou shalt not covet’ (Exodus 20:17). Coveting, or envying something that belongs to another, is damaging to the soul. It can consume our thoughts and plague us with constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction.”

    I could have “coveted” a perfect morning. I could have coveted sleeping in and waking up to a beautifully cleaned home for a great day of swimming and playing with Ivy. Mornings are rarely perfect, and houses are seldomly beautifully clean. I could have let it “consume [my] thoughts and plague [me] with constant unhappiness.” That was where I was headed. Luckily, I turned to my Father. He gave me the tender mercy of forgetting and moving on. Move on from a mess to the bright sun and pool.

    During my meditation today, it said,

    “As we navigate our emotions, our choices have a reinforcing affect. Irritation strengthens irritation, patience fortifies patience. So, when you notice yourself repeating a habit of frustration or impatience… make a conscious choice of which quality you want to grow.

    As Thich Nhat Hanh said, ‘Every feeling is a field of energy. A pleasant feeling is an energy which can nourish. Irritation is a feeling which can destroy. Under the light of awareness, the energy of irritation can be transformed into an energy which nourishes.’”

    We can control our minds and attitudes. Even when we can’t, there is prayer. When we turn to prayer and trust that He can wipe our minds of irritation and unhappiness, we realize how truly powerful our Heavenly Father is, and how much He loves us.

  • Me and Moses

    Me and Moses

    Before you start reading, I will be comparing my WEAKNESS to Moses’s weakness. Don’t worry, I’m not comparing myself to Moses in a good way.

    I liked that title for this blog post because it gives off a good ‘ole image of Moses and I getting ready to go do some fishin’ or somethin’.

    There is never a moment I feel more like Moses than when I’m asked to speak in public, especially in church.

    I’m referring to Exodus 4:10:

    10 And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

    When I first thought about coming back to church in ~2011 there was one overwhelming obstacle in my path: what if I’m asked to speak??? I know to many this seems absurd. But I hope it goes to illustrate how big a fear this was (and still is) for me. I have memories of being a deacon (12–13-year-old) in church and dreading a Sunday School class I learned would be spent reading scripture out loud. It filled my entire body with fear. It made me lock up. It made my throat tight. It made me gulp over and over. It made me sweat. I would start to feel like I might throw up.

    Some of you think you have a fear of public speaking.

    Now do you get how big a fear this was and still is?

    I know others have it worse than me.

    When I did finally come back to church in ~2015, I had to make a decision early on. That decision was that I would not let my fear of speaking hold me back. God had brought me back and I had experiences to share and people to help. Not only that, but I had to learn to lessen the control fear had on my life.

    I decided when I was asked to speak in church, I would accept. That was until that first text came in one morning asking me to give the opening prayer in church that day. I froze. Instead of responding to the text, I called a mentor (I miss you Jessie) and talked it through. He reminded me that if I said no today, when would it stop? By the time I responded to the bishopric member who asked me to give the prayer, he had already reassigned it to someone else. I was off the hook that day, but I promised myself the next time I was asked to speak, I would accept without hesitation, before I could let the fear and excuses set in.

    Little did I know how much that next call would try my faith.

    I was in the middle of studying for a work certification. I’d already failed the test once and this next test was extremely important. I’d been studying for weeks. The test was a couple weeks away when I got the call. I was asked if I could speak in church in two weeks. The excuses flooded my mind: I have this test I’m studying for, I can’t write a talk, and besides, the added stress…! I can’t, I’ll have to accept next time.

    Then I remembered the promise I made myself. 

    “Yes, I will speak.”

    That taught me an important lesson. If we let our fears control us, they will. There are always excuses why NOT to do something that makes us uncomfortable. I spoke two weeks later in church. Beth still talks about that day, hearing me speak, as being the first day I caught her attention.

    From that day forward if I was asked to bless the sacrament, give an announcement in church, say the prayer, teach a lesson, or speak, I always answered yes without hesitation. It petrified me every time. I remember one day I gave someone the Holy Ghost which entailed laying my hands on a friend’s head and giving her a priesthood blessing in front of our entire church. That same day I also blessed the sacrament in front of the whole church, and I gave a talk in front of the whole church.

    Any one of those things in a given day would have given me nightmares.

    Before sacrament, I started to feel sick to my stomach. I thought I was going to be physically ill. I went to an empty classroom, I knelt, and I prayed for help.

    “Please, Heavenly Father, please, just help me get through this. I need you.”

    That may have been the day I solidified my knowledge that I can’t do anything without God, I’m nothing without Him.

    When I gave that blessing to the friend, bestowing the Holy Ghost upon her, I walked up with knees shaking. I thought I was going to, at a minimum fall over, and possibly faint. My throat was dry, and it hurt. I’ll never forget the feeling when I put my hands on her head, with the whole congregation, heads bowed, waiting for me to speak.

    I’ll never forget feeling like a cold bucket of water was poured over my head. From my head down to my toes I felt a tingling. Calm overcame me.

    My grandpa used to say his favorite thing in the world was to give a priesthood blessing because it was the closest he ever felt to God. He said he could feel God in those moments speaking through him.

    That’s what I experienced that day.

    I wrote this on a day that I was speaking in church. I still get kind of sick to my stomach. I still get extremely nervous. I still have to fight back the panic.

    Sometimes people tell me they can’t tell I’m nervous when I speak. I appreciate that, but sometimes I just wish everyone knew. There’s power in putting it out there.

    For others who have this fear, and I know there are many, my biggest advice is to put it out there. Don’t shy away from your fear. When I’m extra nervous, I might just say, “I’m really nervous right now.” Then I feel like I’ve removed the question from those watching and from myself worrying about it. I’ve found this to really help when public speaking.

    I’m grateful for my fear of speaking. It’s assured me, and is a constant reminder, that I can’t do anything without God.

    For those wondering, on the day I wrote this, I did end up speaking and it did go OK. I was supposed to speak for 10 minutes and spoke for 22 due to an excess of time being available. I feel that with practice anything can become more comfortable, and that’s definitely the case with me and public speaking.

    I’ve now taken to challenging myself a little more, to see just how far I can take this reliance on God. The last time I was asked to speak in church I intentionally put zero preparation into my talk. I was asked to speak last minute, a couple days beforehand, due to someone canceling, and the topic was “personal revelation,” so I thought it was a fitting time to try it.

    I got up before the church with little idea of what I was going to share. As I looked around at the congregation, I knew what I wanted to share.

    I’m grateful for the opportunity to speak in church. I’m grateful to be able to share my thoughts and experiences. This fear is a constant reminder that I need God, and I’m grateful for this weakness. Every time I’m asked to speak I’m reminded how weak and silly I am. We can look at all our weaknesses this way, as a reminder of how much we need Him. I know as we do this we come closer to God and better appreciate all He has done and continues to do for us.

  • The God You Know

    The God You Know

    When I started writing the post Unity, Peace, and Love, I actually had another point I intended to make. As often happens when I write, my point got sidetracked (I hope by the Spirit) and I ended up going a completely different direction than originally intended. The point I was sidetracked from, I still liked, and think is important, so I decided to write it anyway. Hopefully the Spirit will guide this post as well.

    In Unity, Peace, and Love I talked about a video that shocked me, the video of someone strutting up to a rameumptom to pray. The idea of a follower of God shoving people out of his way to pray was so bizarre to me. I wrote in the aforementioned post what I think ended up being a better point about this. But what really came to mind the first time I watched that video is how corrupt religion can become if people don’t know who they worship.

    In my original post about the rameumpton, I wrote about the God a friend of mine knew. His God was vengeful, exclusive, and selective. This friend believed that I was going to hell despite my best efforts. I assured that friend that I believed he was going to heaven. Do I worship a different God?

    Let me be clear, I believe we’re all trying to worship the same God. I don’t mean to make the same argument that many Christians make against members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that I’m not Christian because I don’t worship the same Jesus Christ. Just because we have different understandings of the person doesn’t completely diminish our worship. My efforts in worshiping Christ, even if others deem it a “different” or “inaccurate” Jesus Christ, is still worship.

    The problem comes when our understanding of who we worship completely alters our understanding and our behavior. The idea that someone could shove someone on their way to prayer was so bizarre to me. But what if the God someone understands has no body, passions, and is unknowable? What if someone thinks God is a selective and vengeful God that needs to be feared?Why not shove someone on their way to prayer? This shoving behavior isn’t as bad as a God who destroys people on a whim, a God who sent us here so 99% of us could be damned to eternal torment. Surely shoving someone isn’t that bad if our example is that God.

    I wrote the above before I finished Alma chapter 21 so I’d forgotten about the next part about the Zoramites, their rameumptom, and their recited prayer.

    Verse 15 of chapter 21, after the depiction of a Zoramite shoving someone out of his way on his way to prayer, reads:

    “Holy, holy God; we believe that thou art God, and we believe that thou art holy, and that thou wast a spirit, and that thou art a spirit, and that thou wilt be a spirit forever.”

    Interesting their beliefs line up with my thinking about how not knowing God corrupts our behaviors not only religiously, but in life. Here we have a recited prayer and the confusion on God’s character destroying a society.

    The culmination of the Zoramites corruption was not in their recited prayers or confusion in God, though. The culmination is found in verse 16 which reads:

    “Holy God, we believe that thou has separated us from our brethren; and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren, which was handed down to them by the childishness of their fathers; but we believe that thou has elected us to be thy holy children; and also thou has made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ” (emphasis added).

    All their confusion, twisting of doctrine, and beliefs ultimately led to a denial of Christ. We will know the modern religions have truly fallen when they stop believing in He who keeps this all together.

    In an April 2023 General Conference talk, Mark A. Bragg reminded us of the Joseph Smith quote, “If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.”

    This is where modern revelation and especially the Lectures on Faith (See here, here, and especially here for more on those) becomes so important. We must understand the character of perfection and love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ possess so that we can aspire to those characteristics. An unknowable God gives us an unknowable standard. Knowing God is perfect love, and we can do our best to be like Him, gives us the ability to do our best to emulate His love.

  • Unity, Peace, and Love

    Unity, Peace, and Love

    I recently watched a video depicting the famous rameumptom of Alma chapter 31. I’ve written about the rameumptom before.

    The rameumptom was a tower built by the Zoramites for their prayers. They would stand atop this small tower and pray. Their prayers consisted of proclamations of how they were better than their brethren, and they thanked God for making them so much better than others. 

    In this video depiction, it showed a fancily dressed person strutting to the rameumptom, pushing aside someone on his way, cutting a line, and walking to the top while someone was already there. That person, apparently properly interpreting the danger of standing up to this man, quickly left his prayer so this man could yell with pride, “Holy, holy God, we believe that thou art God and we believe that thou art holy.”

    That video can be watched here if you’re interested.

    What I thought about as I watched this video is how strange the behavior would be for a follower of God to strut and push someone out of their way to offer a public prayer of pride. It was the spiritual God-follower pushing someone rudely out of the way that stood out to me.

    President Nelson, Elder Soares, and Elder Christofferson recently all talked to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about being kinder, more charitable, and avoiding contention in one session of General Conference. The impact of three of the highest-ranking members of our Church and apostles and prophets of the Lord all speaking on essentially the same topic in a 2-hour span was quite jarring.

    The three talks were:

    President Nelson – Peacemakers Needed

    Elder Soares – Followers of the Prince of Peace

    Elder Christofferson – One in Christ

    As I watched this video of the corrupt Zoramites, I worried about this message from our leaders. I personally have been witness to so much contention and unkindness in social media in “LDS” or “doctrine” or supposed “Christ-centered groups” where combativeness sometimes seems more important than kindness and love. This has led me to lessen my usage of social media, despite loving the doctrinal topics sometimes explored, due to the hateful nature that the topics are explored in.

    I worry about members of the Church of Jesus Christ that take being right more seriously than being loving.

    How many members of our religion and all religions strut around with our beliefs and act like we’re better than those around us? We must not be the Zoramites. This, I believe, is what President Nelson, Elder Soares, and Elder Christofferson are trying to tell us. Followers of Jesus Christ should be loving first, second, and last. Followers of Jesus Christ should be distinguished by their kindness.

    This behavior of someone knocking someone out of the way to go pray looks so similar to someone debating the merits of Christ’s gospel by putting down and insulting others. I hope we all avoid this behavior. As representatives of Jesus Christ, it’s important we remember the two great commandments: love and love.