No Coincidences

Tag: protection

  • Discipline, Sharks, and Freedom

    Discipline, Sharks, and Freedom

    I watched a video recently. You can watch it here:

    In the video, some surfers are complaining about a barrier in the ocean. They’d travelled for a once in a lifetime surf trip and a barrier was keeping them from being able to surf the big waves.

    As they were complaining, an older surfer walked up and let them use his binoculars. Through the binoculars, just beyond the barrier, the young surfers could see a feeding frenzy. Sharks were just beyond the barrier.

    What seemed like the worst thing in the world quickly turned into a great protection and a great blessing.

    How often do we look at life as though through a murky glass? If we only had binoculars, or could see and understand the bigger picture, the way God sees things, how differently this world would look.

    1 Corinthians 13:11-13

    11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

    12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

    13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

    I think back on my teenage years. I wasn’t the most rebellious teenager. I was far from the most obedient. I pushed boundaries. I experimented with what I thought would bring me joy.

    As I’m now in my 30s, I realize just how stubborn and rebellious I am. This life is an opportunity for my spirit to prove whether or not I will choose God. I try my best. I realize that I am still just a child. Thinking I know best while God watches and lets me stumble around, making all the mistakes I need to so I eventually develop the humility, faith, and trust He knows I need.

    As I consider teenagers today, my heart fears for them. I remember when I thought I needed to drink, try drugs, do all the worldly things or else I would miss out. Or just to feel like I belonged.

    I think back on how lucky I was to try these things and escape with my free-will intact. Many are not so lucky.

    We look at so many destructive habits and activities from the perspective that they are fun and exciting. They are the big wave. But beneath the big wave are dangers we don’t perceive. Beer commercials always show the party. There is always a picture of abject excitement, freedom, liberation, and joy. What is never shown is what is lurking underneath: addiction, sadness, loneliness, emptiness, fear, doubt, dependance, despair, danger, suffering.

    The products of a worldly life are these things. I’ve seen it. We all have. And yet we think we want to be a part of these things, a part of this world.

    Thrilling and tantalizing waves.

    A feeding frenzy underneath. 

    Some quotes from that video –

    “The Lord’s commands do not constitute some grueling underwater barriers that we must learn to grudgingly endure in this life so that we might be exalted in the next.”

    “The Lord’s commandments are given out of love and caring. They are intended for our joy in this life just as much as they are intended for our joy and exaltation in the next.”

    There is this worldly perspective that restrictions and the commandments of God take away our freedom. Let me be free! Let me party! Let me eat, drink, and be merry!

    “Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.”

    -Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune

    We think real freedom is drinking what we want to drink, not realizing we become a slave to that drink.

    Real freedom is eating what we want to eat, not realizing we become a slave to our appetites.

    Real freedom is going to the party, not realizing we are a slave to the fear of missing out.

    We are commanded to avoid things because those things take away our freedom, they do not liberate us.

    Real freedom is not being dependent on any substance, food, drug, or activity. Real freedom is discipline.

    Why does God give us commandments? Not to restrict us but to protect us. Not to hold us back but to let us fly to our highest potential.

  • Wren Sonora Quackenbush 1/20/2025

    Wren Sonora Quackenbush 1/20/2025

    It’s interesting considering what you can glean about a soul in the signs they give before their arrival.

    On Monday 1/20/25, someone asked me if I wanted to play basketball that night, I said I probably shouldn’t because Beth wouldn’t appreciate that. He asked when the baby was coming. I said, “Any day now. She’s being stubborn.”

    Maybe because Ivy and Sage both came a week early, maybe because Beth was extremely done with this pregnancy, maybe a combination of factors, but for 14 days leading up to Monday 1/20 we were thinking it would be any day.

    That led to a lot of anticipation. WHY AREN’T WE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL?

    Friday 1/17 Beth and I spent the night on the couch as she was having irregular contractions most of the night. We were ready at any moment to pack up and leave.

    Flash forward to 1/20 and I was at basketball practice when Beth called. She thought it was really happening this time. I told the team and was off, not super optimistic that it was actually happening. Once I arrived at the house, I knew it was happening.

    We quickly gathered our bags and were out the door. Ivy and Sage waved with Grandma and Aunt Jane from the front door. I’ll probably always remember that image. My two girls, my world, not fully realizing how their worlds were about to change – in challenging but amazing ways.

    I’m writing this from the hospital and I’m so excited for them to meet their new sister.

    What Wren lacked in initiative pushing us to the hospital she made up for once we arrived. We got to the hospital around 5:00pm and she was born at 6:05pm.

    Ivy and Sage’s births were fast and felt whirlwind-like. This had a whirlwind feel given the pace, but it really didn’t feel frantic at all. It felt very under control. Of course, who am I to say? Beth would probably say it was a complete whirlwind of chaos.

    When Beth and I were planning to get married our Bishop at the time had a sit down with us. I remember him commenting on how Beth came from a family of five children and I came from a family of six. He made a statement that I’ve remembered ever since. It was something like, “You two will have no problem having children.”

    I’m not sure how he meant it at the time, but with how Ivy, Sage, and now Wren have come, I can’t help but feel like it was a Bishop’s blessing. That’s how I’ve taken it ever since.

    Wren’s coming could not have gone any more smoothly.

    It felt like a blessed and sanctified process.

    It felt guided and protected.

    Again, Beth might not agree, I’m ultimately just a bystander to the process. I think she would agree though. Maybe we should ask her.

    This isn’t to say that difficult pregnancies or deliveries are any less special. On the contrary, challenges sometimes make the blessings more powerful. We all have our own experiences with this miracle. And that’s what each and every birth is: A miracle.

    I am grateful for a strong and capable wife that can do this unimaginable thing. We are blessed that this process has gone well for us three times. I do not take this for granted.

    So Wren arrived with a lot more hair at 6:05pm.

    I’ve described this process before. See Ivy and Sage’s welcome to life posts. I’ll try to put it into words for a third time.

    My heart didn’t split, it expanded. As I looked at Wren, Ivy and Sage flashed before my eyes. I thought about how I loved each of them so powerfully. I can’t remember if I was brought to tears immediately with the other two. Maybe I should go back and read their posts. I wanted to write this before reading Ivy or Sage’s so this could be completely original.

    But as I looked at Wren I had to hold back tears. Not sure why the third hit me so hard. Maybe it was the pace of things. Maybe three is a special number, and when your heart expands that third time, something special happens.

    I don’t know.

    All I know is I love her so much.

    It’s crazy, you know. I can’t believe I’m here, on earth. I can’t believe I’ve been given the power and ability to create life. The greatest gift of all existence, the power to create life, and it’s been entrusted to me. I can’t believe I have three daughters. I can’t believe I have a wife that is so special and such a great mother. I can’t believe I’ll get to be with them forever, for the rest of this life, and beyond. I can’t believe Wren was born into a covenant, ensuring that as long as I do my part she will be mine forever. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I often think about what I did to deserve all this. And I can’t for the life of me figure it out.

    But I’m anxious to say thank you one day.

    So, welcome to this life Wren. It’s hard but rewarding. It’s scary, but if you know why you’re here, there is peace. It is overwhelming, but you’ve been given a family to help with that.

    I love you baby girl and look so forward to seeing how your personality shapes and develops to add to our family. Thank you for coming to join us. We love you so.

  • God will Provide

    God will Provide

    I often make the comment around certain individuals who I know will understand my meaning (like my wife, close friends, people from church), that God will provide/protect/etc.

    An example of this recently was when my tires were extremely worn. Beth took them to get them checked and the mechanic was shocked. He said he was shocked a tire didn’t blow on the drive over. Beth let me know and I responded, “I looked for a gif of “God protects” or God saves” or “God will provide” but they’re all blasphemous. But for real. Love that guy.”

    The blasphemous part is why I’d be careful how and who I’d say this around. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m taking this lightly or making a joke of it.

    I live my life with a serious belief that God is watching out for me daily. I firmly believe He kept a tire from blowing up on my car even though it probably should have.

    I know that if bad things happen to me, they’re for my growth and ultimate benefit. I know that when good things happen to me, God is blessing me and watching out for me.

    Now, I know that someone with no faith or someone who doesn’t understand my way of thinking would look at this as a naïve, blissfully ignorant way to live life. I, on the other hand, think living without faith is a sad way to go through life.

    I know that all things have a purpose. I know this life is extremely significant, every single moment of it. I know good or bad is ultimately for my good. Isn’t that kind of amazing? It is to me.

  • The Lesser Talked about Sacrifice of the Atonement

    The Lesser Talked about Sacrifice of the Atonement

    One of the tragedies the trinitarian belief (that God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are one being) has taken away is appreciation and understanding of God’s part of the sacrifice in the Atonement.

    “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son.”

    Doesn’t mean much if there isn’t actually a God giving up his Only Begotten Son, right?

    We talk so much about the sacrifice that Jesus Christ did for us, for good reason. His Atonement paved the way for us to return home. He suffered, bled, felt the crushing pain of a universe of sickness, pain, and sin, and died for us. He did that. There’s reason we talk about Him. He is the only way to God, our Heavenly Father.

    Speaking of God’s part in that sacrifice shouldn’t diminish what Christ Himself did for us.

    I’m a father.

    The other day Ivy was on the top of the couch and fell backward to the cushion. She wasn’t hurt at all. She was fine, but try telling her that. She was scared, and she was screaming and freaking out. She was fine, but she was still upset.

    Now, if Ivy was really hurt, if she fell from the cushion down to the floor, I would have moved so fast. I would have been there. As it was, I stayed in my seat and tried to tell her how awesome a fall that was.

    If Ivy or Sage are in real pain, I’m there.

    I can’t imagine the torment, the suffering, the heart-wrenching anguish of watching my children suffer. I can’t imagine it.

    God can.

    God watched His Son be spit upon, scourged, beaten, slapped, ridiculed, and finally nailed to a cross to die a slow, painful, and seemingly humiliating death.

    Words from Jeffery R. Holland in a 1999 talk:

    “I am a father, inadequate to be sure, but I cannot comprehend the burden it must have been for God in His heaven to witness the deep suffering and Crucifixion of His Beloved Son in such a manner. His every impulse and instinct must have been to stop it, to send angels to intervene-but He did not intervene. He endured what He saw because it was the only way that a saving, vicarious payment could be made for the sins of all His other children from Adam and Eve to the end of the world. I am eternally grateful for a perfect Father and His perfect Son, neither of whom shrank from the bitter cup nor forsook the rest of us who are imperfect, who fall short and stumble, who too often miss the mark” (“The Hands of the Fathers,” Ensign, May 1999, 14).

    What I realize is that God knew His Son. He knew Jesus Christ was going to fulfill His destiny. He knew what His Son, Jesus Christ, would do on the cross. LIke me on the couch, knowing Ivy was ultimately going to be OK, God knew Jesus Christ would be OK. He knew that Christ so loved us, that He would suffer it all for us. Why did God do it though? Why didn’t He send angels to intervene? Wouldn’t that be what a loving Father would do? He didn’t intervene because He so loved the world. The world is us. He loves us so much that He was willing to suffer this pain of watching His Son suffer. The ultimate sacrifice, of Father and Son.

    If that doesn’t bring you to tears, I don’t know what will.

    God loves you.

    I don’t know how it all works. I don’t know how the celestial kingdom, heaven, a place of infinite joy and peace, can also have weeping. But I know that my God weeps.

    Don’t let us forget that God suffered that day too. He suffered an anguish hardly imaginable. The anguish of watching His only begotten in pain.

    In the case of the suffering of Jesus Christ, the payment had to be made to save us. In some grand cosmic mystery that I don’t yet understand, we can’t return home until we are perfected through the blood of Christ. God allowed that sacrifice, and contributed His sacrifice, because he loves the world. He loves us.

    I believe God does weep over the evil, heartache, pain, suffering, and sadness in this world. He weeps over sin. He weeps over us.

    But ultimately, we have fallen to a soft cushion. We are safe. We are secure. We are secure in the blood of Jesus Christ. We are secure only because of Jesus Christ and what He did for us.

    While God wants to come comfort us, He doesn’t stop suffering because we’re still on the couch cushion. And if it helps us grow, does that make it any easier for Him to watch us suffer? Maybe. I knew Ivy wasn’t really suffering. I knew it was temporary fear she felt. I was always there for her.

    This is my reminder to you: God is there for you. He will never leave you. He is always aware of your hardships. In addition to God, Jesus Christ isn’t only there with your hardships, He already felt your hardships. He understands it all, because He felt it all.

    God loves you. Jesus Christ loves you. They love you so much that they sacrificed for you. Don’t forget that. It will give you strength.

  • Dreams and Temptations

    Dreams and Temptations

    I’ve long been fascinated by dreams. For the last six years I’ve written down every night-time dream I can remember in the morning. They are in multiple notes in my phone and at this point make up tens of thousands of words. Dreams have even turned into some blog posts.

    Through writing down so many of my dreams, I’ve been able to clearly see the themes that repeat themselves.

    What feels like many years ago now, even though it’s only been seven, I cold turkey’d a lot of bad and immoral habits. These things that used to weigh me down mercilessly have stayed consistently in my dreams ever since.

    I was pondering on why this was recently. Why is it that nearly, I don’t know, 15-20% of my dreams, if I had to guess, have the theme of drinking alcohol and regretting it in them?

    As with all things, I believe there are no coincidences with God. God wouldn’t give us this powerful memory/experience in our minds at night if there wasn’t some purpose. Of course, I believe that God can speak to us in dreams. I believe He has before to me. For me personally, through this introspective exercise, I came to appreciate the powerful effect dreams have had on me.

    In the book The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, I read,

    “What is temptation?… It is the energy through which your soul is given the gracious opportunity to have a dry run at a life lesson, at a situation that, if you can see clearly, can be removed and healed within the confines of your private world of energy and not spill into a larger energy field of other souls. Temptation is a dress rehearsal for a karmic experience of negativity.

    “The entire dynamic of temptation is the compassionate way of allowing you to see your potential pitfalls, and cleanse yourself before you can affect the lives of others… As you respond to the decoy, you cleanse yourself by becoming aware and not having to actually live through the experience.”

    This perfectly describes how I’ve come to feel about my dreams. They are dry runs.

    The most common temptation theme in my dreams is drinking alcohol. There are many dreams I have of either trying to avoid drinking alcohol or actually giving in. I haven’t experienced a hangover in a long time. After one of these dreams, while I don’t feel the ill physical effects I would if I actually drank, I do feel the guilt of having given into temptation.

    When I wake up from one of these dreams, I can feel how I’d feel if I gave in. I wake up feeling how disappointed in myself I am. I wake up thinking, “Seven years, seven years of not touching it and now I’m basically starting over.” I wake up feeling that real feeling of guilt. There is power in this, I’ve learned. I haven’t come head on with this temptation in years. Meaning, I haven’t seriously considered drinking alcohol in a long, long time. I haven’t been in a bar, no one has offered me a drink. But, because of these dreams, I can know how I would feel if I did give in, and I can know I don’t want to feel that. I can remember, because of these dreams, that a night of drinking would not be worth the disappointment in the morning. And that’s to say nothing of the hangover!

    This is not the only temptation I face in dreams. There are others. Because of these dreams, I can know with surety there are things I don’t want to do. If there is any doubt or weak part of my soul that considers doing something terrible, I have the dreams to remind me how terrible some of those actions are and the guilt I don’t want to feel.

    Pretty amazing, really. What a protection these dreams have become to me. As Gary Zukav said in his book, “How exquisite is temptation.”

    I wonder if others have had this sort of experience with their dreams? I wonder if this is unique to me. Maybe it’s some divine protection God has given me. If that’s the case, I’m so grateful for this protection.