No Coincidences

Tag: strength

Dontcha know I know

All of Ivy’s life, when she’s been upset or crying, I’ve said, “Dontcha know I know?”

This is my way of saying jokingly, “Don’t you know I know what it’s like to not want to get dressed, not want to eat certain food, to be hungry, to be tired, to be upset, etc.?”

Today was Sunday. I woke up from a nap and I watched a video depicting the Atonement that Jesus Christ performed.

Sage started crying in the other room. She’d been having a rough day. We think she has some acid reflux and stuff like that. Sometimes her tummy gets upset. This day seemed to be hard for her.

Sage likes to tilt her head way back and stretch out her stomach. Apparently, this is a sign of acid reflux. I went to the other room and picked up Sage and put her into her favorite position. Head in my hands tilted back, stomach stretched, looking up at a ceiling fan (she LOVES looking up at ceiling fans).

This provided a little relief, but she was still crying on and off.

When Sage was still fussing, I started to say my automatic, “Dontcha know…”

And that’s where I stopped.

I didn’t know what it was like to have acid reflux, and for my stomach to hurt like hers did, and to not be able to find relief whatsoever on my own, and to only attain some relief if Mom or Dad came to hold me a certain way. Even if I had that experience as a baby myself, I don’t remember. I didn’t know or remember what Sage was feeling.

But someone did. I believe that Christ, during that infinite and indescribable Atonement, even felt the pains of an infant with acid reflux. I believe He felt it all.

“Children are alive in Christ” (Moroni 8:12).

I couldn’t know what Sage was feeling. Dontcha know I didn’t know. But He knows, and He felt it, and He remembered it.

When Sage cries she’s communicating to us that she needs help. It’s me and Beth’s job to come to her aid and help her with what she can’t help herself with. How many things, as adults, do we need help with that we can’t do ourselves? As adults, we think of ourselves as so independent. But all we do relies on the Lord. We rely on Him to allow our breath to work within our bodies, water to hydrate us, food to nourish us. These things don’t happen of ourselves but because of Him.

God and Christ come to our aid when we need it and especially when we ask for it. Christ knows how to hold us just right to help ease our pain and give us relief. Rely on Him for aid just as little children rely on their parents. Be ye as little children (Matthew 18:3).

Christ felt it. Christ remembers it. Christ experienced it. Turn to Him and He will help all our pains, challenges, and afflictions.

February 2, 2023
Burdens Made Light

Mosiah 23:23 reads:

“For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.”

“They” in this verse was referring to the followers of Alma. Some time earlier in the Book of Mormon story, Alma recruited a group of people who were baptized and covenanted to follow Jesus Christ. This group of people then fled from the rule of their wicked king, Noah.

Before Alma’s people could flee, though, a prophesy was made by a man named Abinadi.

Mosiah 12:2, Abinadi speaking:

“Yea, wo be unto this generation! And the Lord said unto me: Stretch forth thy hand and prophesy, saying: Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage [emphasis added], and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh.”

This epic part of the story in the Book of Mormon is long and complex but long story short – Alma and his people fled wicked King Noah. Then King Noah is attacked by the Lamanites and flees into the wilderness where he is eventually burned and killed. His son, Limhi, takes over as king of the people. Limhi’s people are brought into bondage.

Some time later, the Lamanites stumble upon Alma’s people, and Alma’s people are also brought into bondage.

Remember, Alma’s people at this point had repented of their sins, been baptized, and turned to Christ with all their hearts. Remember Abinadi’s words, “this generation…shall be brought into bondage.” When Abinadi spoke these words, he was prophesying in the name of the Lord. Can the Lord lie? The Lord cannot lie. When He speaks, it must be true, and it must come to pass.

Despite their new covenants, prophesy still had to be fulfilled, and Alma and his people had to be brought into bondage.

There are many important lessons we can learn from this story. In particular we can learn from the people of Alma. Despite their good choices, they were still brought into bondage. Making good choices, being good people, doing all the right things like keeping our temple covenants, serving others, going to church, taking the sacrament; none of these things exclude us from adversity. Just because we’re following Christ and doing everything right, doesn’t mean everything goes perfect for us. Bad things happen to good people.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Because lessons are learned through trial.

What lesson is learned here?

Mosiah 24:13-14 is the Lord speaking to Alma and the people, amidst their trial:

“Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage [emphasis added]. I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.”

The Lord could not lie. The people had to be brought into bondage. But, importantly, the Lord would be with them, He would make their burdens light. And also importantly, as Mormon said in verse 23: “I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yeah, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.” Since the Lord could not lie, the people could know that when he covenanted to deliver them from bondage, it would happen. They were brought into bondage because the Lord said it would be, now He was saying He would deliver them. They knew they could trust the Lord’s word.

Amidst our hardest trials and most difficult times, we can turn to the Lord, and know that He will support, protect, and redeem us. No matter how difficult it gets. You, reading this, have your trials been as bad as becoming slaves to a harsh and bloodthirsty people? Rely on the Lord, and don’t murmur against Him. Continue to do your best and trust Him.

Limhi’s people were in bondage for an estimated 18 years while Alma’s people were in bondage for 1 year. Do you think it made the one year any easier for Alma’s people because the people they’d left got it at least 18 times worse? Of course not. In that time, they had made all the right choices and still had to give 365 days of servitude. But ultimately, because of their covenants with the Lord, He delivered them.

Don’t forget: with God, your burdens will be made light. Follow Him.

December 8, 2022
The Need for God in the Newborn Days
Having a newborn is pretty difficult. Understatement? The challenges are diverse and wide-ranging. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.

As Beth and I were driving to the hospital for her to bring a baby into the world – we prayed.

As we waited to get checked into the hospital – I prayed.

As we sat in our first room and Beth’s pain started to increase – I prayed harder.

As we were moved into the delivery room and the miracle began – I prayed constantly.

As I held my new daughter – I prayed, holding back tears of gratitude.

As we took the new member of our family to our hospital room – I prayed.

As we struggled to stay awake and care for her new needs – I prayed.

As we drove home – I prayed.

As we started the first weeks of no sleep, stress, anxiety, and responsibility. As we tried to feed Sage, as we changed her multiple times throughout the night, as we walked around bleary eyed, as she slept on my chest, as she cried in my arms – I pray constantly for help and strength.

As Beth becomes a zombie from lack of sleep – I pray.

As I fall asleep holding Sage – I pray.

As Ivy adjusts to a new sister, the responsibility, and the change to her little world – I pray for her.

As Beth works to breastfeed every 3 hours and continues not to sleep – I pray for her.

As I go back to work, Beth having extreme trepidation – I pray, and I assure her it will be ok.

We’re being looked after.

As Beth texts me, “You must have said a good prayer for us for today. I can’t believe I feel as good as I do right now.” – I pray with so much gratitude.

I know we’re being looked after.

Having and bringing home a newborn is stressful and a momentous responsibility. I don’t think that is a coincidence. I think it’s meant to remind us how much we need Him. I’m grateful for how difficult it is to bring a new baby home because it brings me closer to my Heavenly Father. I have to rely on Him, because I know my strength is nothing, and I know I can’t do it without Him.

I’m grateful for these challenges because they remind me how much I need Him.

I’m grateful to know He is there.

I’m grateful to know we are watched over.
September 22, 2022
The Greatest Gift Man can Receive in Mortality

The Holy Ghost is the Holy Spirit; he is the Holy Spirit promised the saints at baptism, or in other words the Holy Spirit of Promise, this exalted name-title signifying that the promised receipt of the Holy Spirit, as on the day of Pentecost, is the greatest gift man can receive in mortality.
Bruce R. McConkie

I recently read this quote and the truth of the statement hit me. This seemed a fitting thought after last week’s post talking about the gift the gospel has been in my life. I believe that quote is a powerful reminder for those of us who have been blessed with this great gift. The gospel is a blessing in part due to this great gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost.

I can’t wait to teach Ivy of this most extraordinary gift and to watch her receive it for herself. I know the Holy Ghost is a guiding force and has blessed my life more than I will ever understand while on this earth. One day I will know.

I’m grateful for this constant companion (D&C 121:46), this friend, this comforter. I am never alone when the Holy Ghost is within me. What a blessing that gift is. The greatest in this life.

December 9, 2021
Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)
Remember last week when I wrote about The greatest moment of my life every day? Yeah, well here’s the dark side of that smile.

There’s a serious question/joke every new parent has heard at least 100 times. Are you getting any sleep?

Why are we asked this question?

Because it’s a REAL concern.

Ivy trying to eat my hand when she should be sleeping

So, for all those wondering, how has our sleep been? I wrote about the First 48 Hours. How have the first five months gone? In a blur would be one way to answer.

I could go on for a while about sleep training and how much work and effort Beth has put in. This isn’t a mommy blog so I won’t go into all the detail. I will say Beth has done an awesome job helping Ivy to sleep. She usually puts her down between 7pm-8pm. Ivy will sleep until 6:30am-7:00am with at least one wake-up in the middle of the night. Some of these wakeups just take putting the pacifier back in her mouth. Sometimes it’s an hour feeding her a bottle and helping her back to sleep.

Physically restraining a stubborn baby

Before I provide my spiritual thought on this, I will stress two points:
1. Ivy is pretty good overall with her sleeping. We are blessed. Beth reminds me of this. While I have no frame of reference, Beth is in touch with all the mommy’s of the world and knows that babies don’t always sleep the way Ivy does.
2. Beth does the heavy lifting most nights as I work in the morning.
As I proceed with my thoughts on getting sleep with a newborn, please refer back to points 1 and 2 often. Every time you’re thinking, “well Beth is doing all the work, of course you (enter your feelings about my thoughts)…” or “of course it’s not that bad, not all babies sleep like yours has!” Please refer back to those points. I am aware of how blessed we’ve been in point one, and I’ve been in point two.

That said. My thoughts.

It hasn’t been that bad. There. I said it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD. I’ll say this, I think lack of sleep isn’t as bad as interrupted sleep. There’s something about having to get up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, even if it’s quick and you can go back to sleep. That’s what made the first couple months so difficult.

I recently heard another father describe the newborn sleeping phase as something like advanced sleep deprivation training for the military. As he said that, I thought, “huh, I don’t think it was THAT bad” (see point 1!).

Leading up to Ivy’s birth, I made some big changes to everyday habits of mine. For one, I’ve cut out sugary drinks completely. For those who know me, that included Hawaiian Punch or soda with lunch and dinner. That’s A LOT of sugar. I cut out the juice and soda about 18 months ago.

Leading up to Ivy’s birth I read a book that led to two other changes. I started doing a breathing exercise once or twice a day. According to this book it’s the single most important thing anyone could do to immediately improve their health. The other thing this book prompted me to start doing was change my breakfast habits. I’ve always had breakfast every day no matter what. My breakfast every morning is usually cereal and milk. My cereal is most often not of the healthy variety. Berry Colossal Crunch (Cap’n Crunch knockoff) and Cinnamon Toasters (Cinnamon Toast Crunch knockoff) are still in my kitchen from our last order before I changed this habit. Instead of artificial sugar for breakfast, I’ve transitioned to fruit every morning. Usually grapefruit and blueberries, apples, oranges, or bananas.

For those keeping score, I’ve cut out Hawaiin Punch, soda, and cereal in the form of straight sugar.

For those of you wondering if I still eat candy. Emphatic YES. Maybe one day this can be cut down in my life. We’re not there yet.

As I pondered on the past 5 months, and the difficulty, something occurred to me. Like I said above, I don’t think it’s been that bad. Difficult, not debilitating. As I thought about this, I thought about a scripture.

Mosiah 24:14-15 reads:

And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

I think this is the most I’ve ever related to this scripture. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like for burdens to be made light. The lack of sleep should be killing me. I have to be on-call every few weeks for work. A call at 3 in the morning that would take 2 minutes used to infuriate me. It would ruin my night and the whole next day. Now a 3am-4am feeding session is a pretty regular occurrence.

What explains that I haven’t gone into a fit of rage? For one, I love Ivy passionately. That helps. But I can’t help but feel like my burdens have been made light. Heavenly Father knows my prayers have picked up, needing this assistance.

I’ve wondered how the change in my eating habits has helped my energy. Does God miraculously give us more energy and uplift us? He can, of course. I believe more often He would like to help us by allowing us to help ourselves. I believe these new habits were inspired and I was guided to them. I believe it has lightened my burdens, and God continues to lighten my burdens.

I’m still working on the cheerfully and patient parts. That I could always improve on. But I am grateful for God and His help these first few months. I’ve felt His presence and assistance every day.

In the end, all the lack of sleep in the world is worth that smile.
May 13, 2021