No Coincidences

Tag: strength

  • Blessing Ivy

    Blessing Ivy

    I recently had the special opportunity to bless Ivy.  Leading up to the blessing, I did some research on the history of blessing children in the Church of Jesus Christ and its significance.  For Ivy’s blessing, Beth put together an event and a description of what a baby blessing is.  Here is that description:

    What is a baby blessing?

    In summary, the naming and blessing of children is a commandment of God. It is proper for a worthy father to name and bless his children. Blessing of children was done during the time of Christ, and it occurred in the early years of the restored Church. The ordinance has become a regular practice followed by Church members ever since.

    Who has the authority to bless a baby?

    A worthy priesthood holder under the direction of the local bishop. It is usually the father or a close family member.

    What is the priesthood?

    The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end. Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.”

    Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel.

    What is the format of a baby blessing?

    When blessing a baby, priesthood holders gather in a circle and place their hands under the baby. When blessing an older child, brethren place their hands lightly on the child’s head. The person who gives the blessing:

    1. Addresses Heavenly Father.

    2. States that the blessing is performed by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

    3. Gives the child a name.

    4. Gives words of blessing as the Spirit directs.

    5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Ivy and Aunt Cambria

    Reading up on the baby blessing beforehand taught me some interesting things about this sacred practice that I would like to share.

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1979/12/i-have-a-question/in-blessing-an-infant-should-both-the-naming-and-blessing-be-addressed-to-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng

    1. Unique to giving a blessing to an older child or adult, the naming and blessing of a child is directed to Heavenly Father like prayers are. 
      • This could be because the baby is too young to understand the words directed to him or her. 
    2. It appears that Melchizedek Priesthood holders are authorized to more than ask for a blessing but are able to pronounce a blessing upon the child directly, as the spirit directs.
      • See D&C 20:70
      • Sometimes inspiration (or confidence) to pronounce/give a blessing does not come.  In this case it is of course acceptable to ask Heavenly Father for these blessings.  I believe this is how I felt in giving Ivy her blessing.  It was enough to ask Heavenly Father to bless her with my requests.
    3. It is a commandment to name and bless infants.
      • See again D&C 20:70
      • It is important to remember the naming and blessing of children is not a saving ordinance.  It is still an important and sacred moment seen in heaven.
    4. “It is an awesome responsibility to be a priesthood agent of the Lord, to act in his behalf, and to approximate in one’s words and doings what the Lord would do if he were here.  A father, especially, who is to bless his child, has the delight and responsibility to prepare himself beforehand by pondering and by fasting and prayer, that he may be sensitive to the suggestions of the Spirit when giving the blessing.”
      • “How blessed we are to be able to present our little ones before the Lord, our families and the Church, and then consecrate them to the Lord.  How blessed we are to be able to name them, plead over, pray for, and, yes, to bless them directly and personally in harmony with our finest desires for them, by the authorization and wisdom of heaven.”

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/12/i-have-a-question/why-is-the-naming-and-blessing-of-a-child-important?lang=eng

    1. An interesting account from Joseph Smith on March 13, 1843 says, “Twenty-seven children were blessed, nineteen of whom I blessed myself, with great fervency.  Virtue went out of me, and my strength left me…”
      • “[The next day] Elder Jedediah M. Grant enquired of me the cause of my turning pale and losing strength last night while blessing children.  I told him that I saw that Lucifer would exert his influence to destroy the children that I was blessing, and I strove with all the faith and spirit that I had to seal upon them a blessing that would secure their lives upon the earth; and so much virtue went out of me into the children, that I became weak, from which I have not yet recovered; and I referred to the case of the woman touching the hem of the garment of Jesus. (Luke 8).” (History of the Church, 5:303.)
      • Elder John Taylor said the Savior’s example of blessing children “should be studiously complied with without hesitancy or objection” (by priesthood holders).
      • We see that Joseph Smith followed the example of the Savior who blessed children in both Israel and the American continent.  (Mark 10:14-16 and 3 Nephi 17).  What an amazing and marvelous thought:  our virtue can be passed to our children.  Our blessings are a force Satan must reckon with.  It makes me want to bless my daughter daily.  It also adds insight to a scripture that has always been a bit puzzling in Luke 8:46.  Virtue can literally leave us to help others.
    2. The new name:
      • A new name is often involved when a covenant relationship is formed.
      • When Adam and Eve were given dominion over the earth, Adam named all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20).
      • God blessed them and named Adam after giving him a body (Genesis 5:2).
      • When we get baptized we follow a similar pattern, taking upon us a new name, the name of Christ.
      • Temple covenants also involve the giving and receiving of names.
    3. The responsibility of blessing a child is bestowed, ideally, on he who helped create that child’s body, and who Heavenly Father entrusted His child with in mortality.
      • Joseph F. Smith – “The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity.  There is, then, a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and authority in the households of the people of God and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children.  In the home, the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount…This authority carries with it a responsibility, and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men cannot be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization.”

    It is my experience that giving blessings is often the closest I ever feel to Heavenly Father.  I can feel him speaking through me and it is always a powerful, emotional, and memorable experience.  The opportunity to bless my daughter will be one of the greatest moments of my life.  I have immense gratitude to my Heavenly Father for entrusting Ivy into my care, allowing me to name her, and trusting me to watch over and protect her in this life and through eternity.

  • Organized Religion

    Organized Religion

    What do you think the point of organized religion is?

    I had an obvious realization recently, only recently.  The point of organized religion is to bring you closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  If organized religion doesn’t bring you closer to God, then why do it?  I think it’s why we see so many people disenfranchised with organized religion.  In their hearts and souls, they know and hope what organized religion will bring – closeness with God.  When it doesn’t do that (and in fact sometimes does the opposite) they move away from it.

    The second point of organized religion: to bring us peace. 

    This second part isn’t as simple as “I belong to a church so I am happy and peaceful.” We know that Christianity is not always comfortable. This peace is bigger than worldly comfort. This peace is the knowledge that you are right with God. This peace is more eternal than this life.

    Why don’t organized religions do these two things?  Some do, and I’m not discounting those who come closer to God and find peace in any faith.  My point stands, that a lot of people have moved away from organized religion.  Why?  Why don’t most organized churches bring us closer to God or bring us peace?  They don’t have the proper authority from heaven to do so.

    God, through revelation has told us exactly what we need to do to come closer to Him and to have peace:

    1. Faith in Jesus Christ
      • Start by simply believing in Jesus Christ.  Believe He was born, believe He lived, believe He is the son of God, believe He died for you and your sins.
    2. Repentance
      • Once you believe, be better.  Don’t take for granted the suffering Christ went through for you.  Pray to God and ask forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and continue to make.
    3. Baptism
      • Religion has corrupted this simple principle.  All God asks is you make a symbolic gesture to show that you have faith in Him, faith in Jesus Christ, and will remember them.  Then use that show of faith to change and be better.  God has asked us to be baptized.  Follow His commandments and be baptized. 
    4. Gift of the Holy Ghost
      • The world is ever distracting and evil.  God has given us someone to provide strength.  The Holy Ghost is one with God and Jesus Christ and can be with us always.
      • I have the perfect example to help illustrate the important role the Holy Ghost plays.  I received a text from a friend one afternoon while I was working telling me his dad had passed away.  My friend didn’t want me to find out over social media, so he texted me.  When I read it I initially thought selfishly.  I was at work.  There wasn’t anything I could do.  I wanted to kneel and pray and cry.  But as I was sitting there something happened.  As clear as if a person whispered in my ear, I heard and felt a message.  Clear as day I knew important things.  This was my friend.  He was hurting.  Clear as day, “go to your friend.”  I’m not affectionate, it’s hard for me, ask my wife.  Beth knows that better than anyone.  It’s not in my nature to want to go comfort and cry with a friend.  That seems hard and vulnerable.  But in that very important moment I know the Holy Ghost came to me and directed me.  I know it was important for me, and I believe it was important for my friend.  The Holy Ghost did that.  I know that because I’ve worked so hard to be able to hear when the Holy Ghost speaks to me.  I have so many examples of that.  I could go on for days about the important moments that the Holy Ghost guided me.

    After the Holy Ghost, the final step: endure to the end.  Take the sacrament each week to renew your covenants from baptism.  Repent every day.  Remember Jesus Christ every day.  That’s it.  That brings you closer to God.  I know because it has for me.

    People don’t change overnight.  I know to many it seemed like I changed overnight.  I didn’t.  It was years of slowly changing habits, changing thoughts.  Many saw first-hand who I used to be but didn’t see the slow, gradual change to who I am now.  I always told myself I was “good.”  What good was me telling myself I was good if my actions and my selfishness said otherwise?  Four years ago, if I received the text I mentioned above I would have said “I’m sorry” and “let me know if you need anything.”  Today, I’m different.  I’m different because of Jesus Christ.

    What’s important?  I know why I’m here.  I know where I come from.  I know where I’m going. This brings peace.

  • Letter to a Sinner

    Letter to a Sinner

    I write this with as much humility as possible.  Fully knowing and understanding my weaknesses have given me perspective.  It is my faults and errors that make me feel like I can write this letter. 

    I remember when I came back to church I was asked to not take the sacrament for three weeks.  It was one of the more difficult things I had to do, although it doesn’t sound like much.  I think it was the moment I realized I had changed.  Something that in the past might not have affected me too much, really hurt.  It was difficult coming back and immediately feeling like maybe I’m not enough.  Maybe I could have gone the route of resentment.  Instead I realized how much I didn’t want to have to go through that again.

    I don’t in any way imply I’m better than someone who can’t take the sacrament and does feel resentment.  We all have our own paths.  Mine was of being completely away, coming back, and realizing I deserved my three weeks.  Some are never officially away so that state of probation seems unfair or not right.  I understand that.

    This is my letter to the sinner.  A reminder, that includes all of us.  This is the sinner who has made mistakes.  This particular sinner might come from a perfect family and part of their struggle is feeling like they don’t fit in in the one place they should feel welcome.  This sinner might feel judged by the very people that should love them the most.  It doesn’t matter if those family, friends, and caring loved ones are right or wrong.  It matters how the sinner interprets things.  We all live our own experiences and encounter the world in different ways.  We must, to the best our abilities, see the world in perfect light and perfect truth.

    Here is my letter to a hypothetical sinner:

    You will never be like the “perfect” people you see around you.  You won’t.  Your path has been set.  Your path has been set partly by different “luck,” different experiences.  Partly by your choices.  My life was set by very bad choices.  But now that I’ve come out of the other side, my joy is greater than I could have ever imagined.  You won’t be “perfect”, but you’ll be who Heavenly Father sees you can be.  You won’t be “better” than those who never made the mistakes you made, but you might be stronger.  Your path will lead you somewhere wholly different.  And if you decide you want to come through to the other side: to truly know your Savior, to know forgiveness, to know what being welcomed home feels like even if you don’t think you’ll ever deserve it – if you come to that other side with that relationship with your Savior, your testimony will be welded in steel, as hard as diamond.  You’ll have gone through the refiner’s fire and come out united with He who gives all strength.  This is no excuse to continue to sin.  You know the light.  You’ve seen and felt the light.  I knew the light and I turned from it.  I hope to help anyone not make the same mistake.

    You will make mistakes.  You will sin.  But no matter what, you have to remember Jesus Christ.  Because while the world will judge you and you’ll have to struggle with that, He will judge you with a perfect love and comprehension.  Remember that those around you are trying to judge you with love.  They’re trying to love you righteously.  Jesus Christ doesn’t try.  He is perfect love.  Don’t forget it.  Don’t forget that those around you whose points of view you can’t understand, they’re trying to be like Jesus Christ.  They may be falling short.  But that’s not for you to judge.  Just as they can’t judge you, you can’t judge their intentions or efforts.  Just love and do your best. 

    I’m sorry you have to go through trials.  But do not lose sight of Jesus Christ.  Do not.  He is the only person true peace can come from.  Whatever you do, whatever mistakes you make, do not forget HIM.  He won’t forget you.  I promise.

    At this point I must apologize.  Throughout this letter I’ve referred to you as “the sinner.”  I know that phrase hurt the whole way through.  I know it because I’ve felt it.  I did it throughout the whole letter to get to this point.  I want to remind you, “sinner” is not who you are.  It will never be who you are.  We all sin but that’s not what God and Jesus Christ see in us.  No matter how many mistakes we make.  No matter how many slip ups or downright wrong things you do, you are not a sinner.  You are a child of Heavenly Father.  You are growing.  You are learning.  I reiterate something I said earlier, this does not excuse your sin.  Sin is wrong, you know that.  Christ will see your sin.  What means much more to Him is your repentance.  He doesn’t see who you were but who you will be. 

    “God cares a lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were. He cares that we keep trying.”

    Elder Dale G. Renlund in April 2015 Conference talk “Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying”
  • Miracle Baptisms

    Miracle Baptisms

    My favorite calling I’ve ever had was Ward Mission Leader.  For those who don’t know, I basically helped the full-time missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in any way I could.  Getting to be around missionaries has been one of the greatest blessings in my life.  There’s something powerful about being around young men and women that have sacrificed two years in the prime of their life to serve and share about Jesus Christ.

    I’ve always loved stories of faith;  stories of miracles that occur when full faith and devotion is given to something important.  I want to share one of my favorite stories from my time as Ward Mission Leader.

    Missionaries do a lot of amazing things; a lot more than just baptize.  Simply teaching others about Christ is important.  Serving and loving others is important.  Being a representative of Jesus Christ is important. 

    That said, the reason missionaries devote two full years to a mission is the hope to share with someone the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, have it touch that person’s heart, see that person change their life for Christ, and ultimately that person making the decision to be baptized.  Like I said, many amazing things can happen before a baptism.  But, the decision to be baptized and the blessings that come after are the ultimate goal.

    It was for that reason that I decided to set a high bar on a goal as my time as Ward Mission Leader was coming to an end.  I was marrying Beth on 6/1/19.  At that point I would change wards, the building and group I’d been going to since returning to church, and no longer have the calling of Ward Mission Leader.  My greatest hope was that the missionary efforts we had developed as a ward could be continued after I left.

    I set a goal in May for there to be three baptisms in the ward in the month of June.  For some perspective, in the previous year our ward had two baptisms. 

    I started fasting and praying.  I announced in a stake missionary correlation meeting that the Scottsdale YSA Ward would have 3 baptisms in June.

    “That’s awesome!  You have three people on date to be baptized?”  I was asked.

    My response, “No, we don’t have anybody on date.”

    The goal was set nonetheless.  I had faith that if the missionaries and myself fasted and prayed our hearts out, and did our part, a miracle would happen.

    As the month of May progressed things started happening.  There were some individuals the missionaries had been meeting with and teaching about the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.  There were two in particular that had been meeting with the missionaries regularly.

    As we continued to pray with this singular focus in our hearts, one of those individuals committed to being baptized on 6/29.  This was amazing!

    There was a second person who wanted to be baptized but there was something getting in the way.  It was a frustration of mine at the time because that person was worthy to be baptized but a technical requirement wasn’t met.  Her living situation caused a problem.  Again, fully worthy, but unable to get baptized until her living situation was changed.

    On 5/25 it was time to call in faith reinforcements.  Up to that point it had been the missionaries, Beth, a couple others, and myself committing our faith to this goal. 

    I wrote this as a reminder for myself on 5/25:

    “I sent a text to ward missionary committee asking them to join fast for miracle three baptisms in June.  It was kind of hard to send the text.  There were moments that I wondered if I should send it and if sending it was right, if I was saying the right thing.  I ended up being somewhat bold saying, “The missionaries and a few of us have been praying for something very specific: 3 individuals to be baptized into the Scottsdale ward in June.  There’s a lot of faith in this as when we started there wasn’t a single person on date to be baptized.  There is now one person who plans to be baptized on June 29th.  The missionaries and I are going to fast and pray for these three individuals to be led to us and for our ward to act when the opportunity comes.  I invite each of you, if you’d like, to join us in fasting and praying for this tomorrow.  I know that there are three people out there that need the gospel of Jesus Christ and are ready to be baptized.  With faith, God will lead these people to us if we are ready to act, and if it’s His will and His plan.  Thanks everybody!  Love each of you.”  Four minutes after sending the text, the missionaries texted me and said that the individual whose living situation was in the way had that issue resolved and just set their date to be baptized for June 8th. So much joy.

    What was hard about sending that text was I wasn’t sure if what I was asking for was right.  I always wanted to ask things of God only if it was His will.  While I know God’s children coming closer to Him is His greatest joy, I worried that my intentions weren’t perfectly aligned with his.  That was the doubt that came before I sent the text.  I decided to send the text because I wanted to faith away my doubts.  That is why I was bold.  That is why the immediate text from the missionaries brought me instantly to the most profound joy, followed by tears.

    It was a miracle.

    I won’t go into details about how the miracle for this person took place. What I will say is this.  It was a major frustration for me for some time that this person couldn’t be baptized despite having a sincere desire to do so, and being worthy to do so. A sequence of events took place that led to there being no issue with the baptism taking place. I was so grateful that a worthy individual could enter the waters of baptism and align themselves with Jesus Christ.

    Another note to myself that I wrote that day so I wouldn’t forget:

    Thinking back on (the issue), I was pretty worked up about it but somehow just moved on.  I came to a feeling of peace about it that I didn’t even know was happening.  But then it worked itself out, or God worked it out, and I look back and realize He spoke peace to my soul.  I can almost hear Him, “Peace, my son. Don’t you know my hand is in these things?  Don’t you know I will care for my children?  Have faith.”

    For those anticipating the miracle third baptism in June- it didn’t happen.  In fact, the second one was delayed to July 13th.  I think that’s wonderful.  I think of it as God’s way of reminding me that my faith is far from perfect.  I set an arbitrary goal of June and to keep me humble He had the second baptism occur in July and the third didn’t happen.  I’m far from truly aligned with His will.  We’re far from being able to work all miracles.  But God does watch.  He does hear.  He does care.  In that ward, we had two baptisms the previous 12 months.  In the 35 days after I left my favorite calling ever, the ward that saved my life, baptized two new members.

    One of those members was recently sealed in the temple.

    The first person I had the pleasure of seeing baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while I was Ward Mission Leader got married in the temple 5 months after his baptism.

    Casper’s Baptism

    Beth and I had the greatest pleasure of hosting 3 former missionaries in our home so we could all go to the wedding together.  I remember sitting in the temple, waiting for the sealing.  Waiting for Casper and Ashlee, two people that had greatly impacted and strengthened my faith, to be sealed to each other for time and all eternity.  I was sitting and thinking.

    Elder Dotson, one of the missionaries who had the honor of teaching Casper the Gospel, came and sat by me.  He told me, “This is why we baptize people.  Baptisms and endowments and all the covenants made are important.  But this is what it’s all about.  Two people getting sealed in the temple.  Starting a family that will be together for eternity.  This is why we do what we do.  This is what it’s all about.”

    I wish everyone could know the joy I’ve felt helping someone find what I’ve found.  I wish I could share the joy of seeing two people sealed together for eternity.  A love never to be separated.  It’s the great plan of our loving Heavenly Father and what we’re here to do.  Develop faith.  Obtain and nurture an eternal family.  Return to Him.

    I’m so grateful for His Plan and the small part I get to play in it.  There is no greater joy.

  • Ivy James Quackenbush 12/4/20

    Ivy James Quackenbush 12/4/20

    Ivy came today. I’m writing this in a bit of a haze. I keep getting told to get used to it.

    Beth started having contractions around 2AM this morning. Apparently I asked her if she was OK around 2:30AM. Don’t have a complete recollection of that.

    Around 5AM her water broke. We were at the hospital around 6AM. Beth got checked in and I believe was around 3.5cm.

    At 6:30AM I received a text from my father-in-law (shout out Keith Cannon), “Of course we’re praying for Beth and Ivy. But also for you. I hope you stay conscious. Good luck.”

    Between 6AM and 8:30AM things moved very quickly.

    At 7:57AM I texted my mom and told her Beth seemed to be in so much pain. They wanted her to finish some pitocin.

    I think it was 8:30AM when they came back in and kind of freaked out. Beth was in excruciating pain and at about 9cm. 10cm (I learned) is what is needed to start delivery.

    I started getting our stuff together while they quickly wheeled her to the delivery room. When I came out into the hallway they were gone. I started wandering and came upon a man in scrubs. I asked him if someone came this way and he asked who. I told him he would have known if they did. I walked down the other hall and came up to a nurse. She asked what I was looking for and I said, “the screaming.” She led me to the delivery room.

    I texted my mom from the delivery room at 9:07am, “Close.”

    They finally got the epidural in at that time which made things drastically better. Beth improved immediately.

    From 9:07AM to 9:23AM Beth went from writhing, screaming, and crying in pain to texting my mom. “Epidural has kicked in and I’m 10cm. I’ll probably deliver in an hour or so. They were shocked how fast I was moving.”

    I’ve heard over and over about this thing that happens when becoming a father. I can’t emphasize it enough. I can’t say it with adequate enthusiasm or exaggeration.

    When I first saw Ivy James Quackenbush my heart expanded, my world flipped upside down. In an instant I realized I would do anything, I would give my life without a second thought and at a moment’s notice for that beautiful soul. She was perfect, so beautiful.

    I wish I could put it into words, but they’re not enough. My life as I knew it was over. And I knew it. This little thing was the new center. The center of my universe- along with Beth.

    Watching what Beth went through, so much pain, to bring this life into the world. I instantly had something open up inside of me. Appreciation for my mother. ‘She went through this for me?!?!’ Love and awe at the strength of my wife and all women. How can a man walk out on a wife after seeing her bring the most important thing in the world, into the world? I thought of so many mothers – Eve, Mary, my mom, my wife. My Ivy.

    How can women be treated the way they are in the world when they are the entire world? They’re why we’re all here.

    I loved these two in a way I didn’t know was possible.

    I couldn’t stop staring at Ivy. The gravitational pull of the universe had changed.

    Beth held her and she screamed. Let the record show I cut the cord. She screamed and it was simultaneously the most fascinating and most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I didn’t know a scream could be so powerful.

    I put my finger out and Ivy grabbed. She stopped screaming. The nurses started to take her for measurements and she wouldn’t let go of my finger. My heart!

    I followed her. The thoughts I hadn’t let start because her coming had always been surreal started to flood my mind: I’m going to play basketball with her. I hope she loves basketball. We’ll play together. We’ll be best friends. I hope I never hurt her. I hope I can always protect her.

    How does Heavenly Father love me? I’m a little closer to understanding today. I’m a little closer to understanding what true love is.

    Ivy James Quackenbush and Elisabeth Brooke Quackenbush. My family.

    7lb 3oz 21in 10:59am. Perfect.