No Coincidences

Tag: understanding

  • Maybe (The Story of the Chinese Farmer)

    Maybe (The Story of the Chinese Farmer)

    “There once was a farmer whose horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. ‘Such bad fortune,’ they said, full of sympathy.

    “‘Maybe,’ the farmer replied.

    “The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. ‘What great fortune!’ The neighbors exclaimed.

    “‘Maybe,’ replied the old man.

    “The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. The son would forever limp. ‘What terrible fortune!’ The neighbors cried.

    “‘Maybe,’ answered the farmer.

    “The next morning the army came through the farmer’s village to draft young able-bodied men for the war. Seeing his son’s limp, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. ‘What wonderful fortune!’ They said.

    “‘Maybe,’ said the farmer.”

    So, it’s hard to know which experiences will turn out to be fortuitous and which will be unfortunate.

    Another story to consider.

    A dog is at the vet. It is there with its wonderful owner. The dog knows his owner loves him very much. The dog’s owner provides food and shelter to him every day. His owner takes him for walks every day and loves him so much. His owner would never do anything to harm him.

    At the vet, the dog is due to get shots.

    The owner knows the importance of these shots. The owner knows the dog needs the shots to keep him healthy. The owner knows the shots are for her dog’s ultimate benefit.

    While the dog is getting shots, all he can think is, “why oh why is my owner letting them do this to me? It hurts so bad! Why is she letting this happen?” The dog looks at his owner and cries and cries. He’s in so much pain. “Why is she standing there ignoring my pain? Why isn’t she doing anything? Doesn’t she love me?”

    The gap between the dog’s understanding and his owner’s understanding is vast. If the owner tried to explain to her dog germ theory and why he needed his shots, he wouldn’t understand any of it.

    The gap between God and us must be infinitely more expansive than the gap between our understanding and that of our pets.

    We don’t know completely why bad things happen to good people. We don’t know why some live while some die.

    The restored gospel of Jesus Christ tells us some key information. This information doesn’t completely answer the question of why bad things happen to good people, but it does add important information.

    We all chose to come here.

    We all knew it would be hard.

    Some knew they would experience unimaginable pain.

    We all chose to come here.

    The good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that no pain, no hardship, no difficulty, no tragedy, is without meaning or purpose. It’s all for one great design: to make us better and stronger. Even as I say that, “to make us better and stronger” those words fall flat. Someone experiencing immense pain doesn’t care that they’ll be stronger in the end. Saying “to make us better and stronger” is akin to telling the dog, it’s going to be ok. Our understanding is limited. That doesn’t take away from the fact that everything that happens here is meant for our ultimate good. Everything here is to help us to reach our full potential.

    Do you think that dog understands those shots will help him live longer? Could we possibly understand if God tried to explain to us the mysteries of the universe and how that unimaginable pain can be for our benefit?

    Does this make unimaginable pain easier to endure? I think it does. I’m not in the throes of pain at the moment, though.

    When I thought I might die, and I thought how desperately I would miss my wife and my one month old daughter, when I thought about how I wouldn’t get to teach her to talk, shoot a basketball, or ride a bike, my heart hurt. But then I knew something amazing. I knew that, even if I had to leave my daughter and my wife, I’d see them again. Life is one eternal round with God and nothing would be lost. I knew that if I had to leave, it was for my ultimate benefit, and the benefit of my family. I had to trust God in that moment. That brought me peace.

    Could the farmer’s son have realized that breaking his leg and being limp for the rest of his life would actually save his life? He couldn’t know it. But someone did.

    When bad things happen, take comfort. Trust Him.

    How do we know what is a blessing and what isn’t? We don’t. Someone does. Trust Him.

  • The Life Beyond

    The Life Beyond

    The Life Beyond by Robert L. Millett and Joseph Fielding McConkie Copyright 1986.

    I recently was asked by two friends who have different religious beliefs from me, what do you believe happens to a person when they die?

    This is the great question right?  One of the 3 great questions.

    1. Where did I come from?
    2. Why I am I here?
    3. Where am I going?

    What a world we’d live in if every conversation we ever had started with that question:

    Hi, my name is Brayden.  Say, what do you think happens to us when we die?

    Wouldn’t that be great!  Less discussion about politics, sports, and tv.  What amazing conversations could come about from that question.

    It amazes me how many people in the world float through life without knowing any sort of answer to these questions.  It’s no wonder we’re in a world that seems untethered from any understanding, sense of reality, or sense of meaning.  What’s worse than all those who don’t know the answer to these questions is those that don’t even ask the question.  It baffles my mind that so many live on this earth, day by day, moment by moment, without daily stopping to ponder: why am I here?

    I believe the reason for this attitude by many people and much of society is due to a feeling that there is no answer.  No one can know so why ask?  I believe every person has asked these questions at some point.  They eventually determine it’s unknowable and move on.  I believe this cuts us off from growth.  How can we grow to our full potential if we have no understanding of our true potential?  How can we reach our true potential if we believe this whole life is for no purpose or reason?  How can we reach our full potential if we don’t even know if there’s something after all this?  In that case, what’s the point?

    That’s why when this question comes up I internally jump for joy.  I know many skeptics, doubters – ye with little faith – still say, “you can’t really know.”  I don’t care.  I know!  I know where I come from.  I know why I’m here.  I know where I’m going.

    It’s one of my greatest wishes that every person on this earth knew the same.  I believe it would make people happier.  I believe it would make the world a better place.  It’s why I’m writing this.  To share what I know.

    The Life Beyond is a book I recently finished by one of my favorite scholars.  Robert Millet was a panelist on the youtube video series I’ve used to study the lectures on faith.  I’ve seen Joseph Fielding McConkie on many of the books I intend to read.

    This book details everything we know about The Life Beyond.  Through scripture, modern revelation, prophets, and all other light and knowledge we’ve received, they go into great detail about what happens after we die.

    Could there be a more important book?

    Can you believe this book exists?  Can you believe you’re not reading it right now?

    Hundreds of millions stumble around in darkness, with fear of death and wonderment about life.  Here is scripture, from God, light and knowledge, revelation, that answers the most important questions in this life.

    For those with little understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, this book would be like feeding a steak to a newborn.  Milk before meat.  I understand that.  Still, why isn’t everyone reading it?  If anyone reading this has ever asked, why am I here?  I invite you to read this book.  Then ask questions.  It can change your life.

    To conclude I’ll share one excerpt from the book that I enjoyed. 

    “The Family Unit Beyond the Veil

    Paul said, ‘I bow my knees,’ as do we all, ‘unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named” (Ephesians 3:14-15).  In a manifestation to Brigham Young after his death, Joseph Smith told his successor to be sure to instruct the Saints to keep the Spirit of the Lord, promising that if they would do so, ‘they will find themselves just as they were organized by our Father in Heaven before they came into the world.  Our Father in Heaven organized the human family, but they are all disorganized and in confusion.’  Brigham also said that Joseph showed him the pattern, ‘how they were in the beginning.’  He said that he could not describe it but that there must yet be ‘a perfect chain from Father Adam to his latest posterity.’

    During an illness, Jedediah M. Grant visited the spirit world two nights in succession.  He reported a perfect order and government that existed there, saying that the ‘righteous gathered together,’ that there were ‘no wicked spirits among them,’ and that they were ‘organized in family capacities.’  ‘To my astonishment,’ he said, ‘when I looked at families, there was a deficiency in some, there was a lack, for I saw families that would not be permitted to come and dwell together, because they had not honored their calling here.’” (Emphasis added)

    What a marvel it is we have these truths and how lucky we are.  May we all fulfill our callings here, and start by asking, why am I here?

  • Love Thy Neighbor: The Time I was Threatened with Lawsuit

    Love Thy Neighbor: The Time I was Threatened with Lawsuit

    I posted War or Cheesecake Factory two weeks ago about an experience where tone made all the difference. I’d like to share two more examples when tone benefited me with my neighbors.

    When my below neighbor got angry with me about a supposed leak that flooded her unit it wasn’t the first time I’d been yelled at by a neighbor about a leak.  In fact, the last time I was threatened to be sued.  Let me explain.

    I had a great relationship with my below neighbors before they sold their place to the current tenant.  It was a grandparently relationship.  The older gentleman would come over and help with my toilet, etc.  We would drop off a card and cookies to them on holidays. 

    One day they came to me and told they had black mold, and worse, it was my fault.  The details don’t matter but basically there was a leak (supposedly) coming from me, they had found it, and they were upset.  I communicated with them throughout to help however I could.

    This man that had come to feel like a grandpa came up one evening and told me, basically, that there might be a lawsuit with my name on it and he didn’t want me to be caught off guard.

    My response you ask?

    “Oh, ok,” in a cheery, not at all concerned tone.

    This was a combination of meek demeanor and ignorance.  It was hours later, sitting on the couch, before it hit me.  Oh!  They just threatened to sue me.

    I don’t know if they ever truly intended to sue me.  What I do know is I never heard another word about it.  I can only think my ignorance and kind reception at threat of lawsuit dissuaded them from taking that course of action.  They fixed the issue on their end and we moved on like that conversation never happened.  That neighbor came over multiple times in the future to help with household items, we dropped off cookies and cards multiple other times.  Life moved on.

    One more neighbor interaction story.

    When this current neighbor moved in, my very first interaction was with her and her mom.  They were moving stuff in and I introduced myself.  I remember her mom jokingly saying, “now my daughter is deaf so you’ll have to yell when you speak to her.”

    I don’t think this neighbor is really deaf.  Maybe hard of hearing or something like that, she can definitely hear.  I think her mom was playfully warning me about her daughter’s music tastes.

    As soon as this neighbor moved in the music started.  I’m talking, floor shaking, bass moving, beats jumping, party going, music.  There weren’t many parties, but many days that sounded like parties.  This music could be at any time of the day.  Most often around midnight followed by 5 in the morning.

    I think the main problem was that her speakers may have been right under our bedroom.  Beth was pregnant and sleeping some nights on the couch.  I was sleeping on the floor in the nursery some nights.  We kept hoping it would stop.  It never stopped.

    One morning at 6:30am while the party was rocking, I’d had enough.  Beth was pregnant and wasn’t sleeping.  I constantly fought the urge to go down and yell and freak out.  I finally realized I had to talk to the neighbor.

    I knocked on her door at 6:30.  She creaked the door open, looked at me confused like, “why are you here at 6:30am??”  I wanted to say to that face, “why is this music playing at 6:00am?”  Instead I said, again, in the kindest, softest (over the music), most meek way I could, “Hey… I just wanted to let you know we can hear the music.”

    “What?!”

    “Yeah… it kind of feels like our floor is shaking right under our bed.  We’ve been having a really difficult time sleeping and you know Beth is pregnant and, just wanted to make sure you knew.”

    “It’s not even that loud.”

    I looked at her dumbfounded.  She could barely hear me through the door with the music on behind her.

    “Yeah well we can hear it, again, just wanted to let you know.  If you were able to turn it down a little that would help us a whole lot.”

    She looked at me annoyed, and I can’t remember what she said.  I do remember walking away thinking, now what?  Are we going to have to move?  We can’t live like this.  Clearly she wasn’t going to turn down the music.

    We never heard the music again.  Literally not one more time.

    I think back on that often.  We could have had a disastrous start to a neighbor relationship.  Our life could have been living hell the past year.  If I went down without sleep, angry, and accused her of maliciously keeping my pregnant wife up, who knows what would have happened.  I can’t imagine anything good coming from that.

    Instead we built rapport.  I explained the issue as calm and kind as I could, and hoped for the best.  The best came.  When that leak happened (see other post), we’d already established a level of respect. 

    I don’t write this to be like – I’m a great neighbor, check me out.  I just want to emphasize that tone and word choice can go a long way.  The way we say things makes a big difference.  Our mindset when we confront someone is important.  If you attack, they attack back, and now we’re at war.  Nobody wants war.

    When you’re frustrated with someone, take one second and enter their shoes.  Why did they frustrate you?  Was it malicious?  Was it intentional?  Is there a chance they are having a bad day too?  If we all take a moment to consider the feelings of others, it would change this world.  I hope we can all take a moment and show kindness and compassion for those around us.  Our country needs it.

    Love God and love thy neighbor.

  • Devastation of Ignorance

    Devastation of Ignorance

    Recently I was trying to do something I had no idea how to do.  Let’s call it HTML coding.  The point I need to stress here is I was starting at point 0.  I’d done little to no coding and didn’t understand HTML, and still don’t.

    It’s not my job to know HTML so it was fine, it was just something I had to figure out.

    I was doing some research and trying to understand the format needed for what I was trying to create.  Looking at the code I made some assumptions.  For example, I thought a symbol at the beginning indicated “this is the start” and a symbol at the end indicated “this is the end.”

    I spent a lot of time struggling with this.  As I thought I was figuring something out, I’d test it, and realize I was getting farther away.  I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

    I finally engaged someone I worked with.  This person knew almost nothing about HTML.  If I was a 0 this person was a 1.  He also knew very little about HTML but he immediately recognized something.  The part at the beginning that I thought indicated the start wasn’t needed at all.  It could be removed.

    I removed the beginning and it looked exactly how I needed it to.

    He knew little, but the little he knew made a huge difference.

    I realized something from this.  I saw how devastating ignorance can be.  If I knew just a little, I could have completed this task very quickly.  Instead, I spent a lot of time going in circles.

    Why is knowledge so important?  Because ignorance kills.

    I think we see this principle amplified in our society today.  We are surrounded by misinformation and while we’re in the age of technology and information is at our fingertips, false information is as easily accessible as true information.

    What this makes me appreciate is the truth and knowledge of God.  There is no misinformation with Him.  There is no ignorance.  God knows our yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  He is all truth.

    I’m glad that what we learn here goes with us.  I’m glad the knowledge we gain here stays with us and helps us.  This is one of my favorite principles of the gospel. 

  • Godhead – My Understanding

    Godhead – My Understanding

    Two posts ago I discussed the doctrine of the Trinity and my opposition to it.

    This will be a much gentler post, detailing how I personally come to the belief and understanding of the Godhead as true doctrine. 

    First, an explanation I didn’t give last time. Definitions:

    1. Trinity or Trinitarian belief:  God is one God, but three coeternal and consubstantial persons; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  The three persons are distinct, yet are one “substance, essence or nature” (homoousios).  In this context, a “nature” is what one is, whereas a “person is who one is. (From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity).  (Also, huh?).
    2. Godhead: God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost form a group known as the Godhead.  Each member is a different, individual being, yet all three are united in thought, desire, knowledge, power, and purpose. (From https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2019-08-0080-godhead?lang=eng). (Also, visit that link to watch a 7-minute video to learn more).

    How can I say “I know” the Godhead to be true?

    The Godhead is one of the unique beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

    A majority of Christianity believes in the Trinity.

    In this post, I won’t go into detail on the doctrine, differences, importance, history, etc. of the distinctions between Trinitarian and Godhead belief.  That I’ll likely save for another day.  In this post I simply want to explain how I have come to know for myself that the Godhead is true and correct doctrine.

    The short answer to how I can know the Godhead to be true is:

    Through study, prayer, and upbringing.

    My understanding of this principle and the knowledge I have of it can be broken down very simply.  It’s a similar breakdown that explains much of my testimony in the restored gospel.

    In reading the Book of Mormon, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is the word of God.  I know that it was translated through the power of God.

    If the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet. 

    Joseph Smith told us he saw God the Father, and Jesus Christ on His right hand.

    Joseph Smith History 1:17:

    It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other-This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him!

    Joseph Smith never wavered on this fact. 

    This could be where it ends, but I’ll add some notes on upbringing and study.

    Upbringing – obviously, I must mention that my upbringing played a role in my believing this to be true.  I was raised to believe in the Godhead; therefore, it is much easier for me to accept as truth.  That said, it was up to me to ask questions, read the book for myself, study Joseph Smith’s history and understand the principle for me to come to the knowledge.  Because I was raised to believe it to be true didn’t make it true.  Which leads to the next point.

    Study – As I said, through study and research I have determined the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.  It is an inspired book. 

    Prayer – My testimony of the Book of Mormon, mentioned in study, not only comes from logical, mind-centered study, but from personal revelation.  I’ve felt the Book of Mormon is true.  I’ve prayed to know the Book of Mormon is true.  I’ve received my answer, through prayer, that the Book of Mormon is true.  Prayer is an irreplaceable ingredient. 

    The principle of the Godhead has been distorted, attacked, and misunderstood for centuries.  One of the first attacks Satan always makes is on the nature of God.  If Satan can confuse us on who God is, he can confuse us on who we are.  We are children of the Almighty God. 

    I am grateful for modern revelation and prophets that make simple and powerful truths known.  I am grateful to know that while God is magnificent and powerful, He is not un-knowable.  The understanding of God as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as my brother, who gave His life for me, strengthens my faith and helps me put my trust in them.

    This truth is eternal, and this truth is important.