No Coincidences

Author: Brayden Quackenbush

  • Pondering on Death, Eternity, Growth, and Mortality

    Pondering on Death, Eternity, Growth, and Mortality

    Emma Smith, the wife of the prophet, was once given a promise that is worth pondering.

    Emma had a 14-month-old child die.

    As a father of three, the thought is unimaginable. Reading through the list of Smith children that died in infanthood is heartbreaking.

    According to Alexander Smith, Emma’s son who made it to adulthood, shortly before her death in 1879 she had a vision where Joseph Smith visited her and promised her she would raise all her children who had not lived to adulthood after her mortality ended.

    What are the implications of this?

    I believe what can be gleaned from this is powerful, comforting, and gives a look into the truly magnificent love and power of a Father in Heaven. I believe the truths restored by Joseph Smith to be awe-inspiring. I believe the truths revealed by Joseph Smith should be awe-inspiring if he truly was a prophet of God. I believe that to be truth.

    I’ve read near-death experiences that describe young children playing in heaven. I still wonder about, and don’t comprehend, age, mortality, “childhood and adulthood”, maturity, time, and the importance of our bodies.

    Those categories: age, mortality, childhood and adulthood, maturity, time, and our bodies seem like a wide-ranging and somewhat unrelated group of topics.

    But what was shared with Emma Smith makes those topics intertwined.

    What is age? In mortality, I am 30 years older than my children. But in the eternities their spirits are eternal, they never had a beginning. Who I am to say that I am any more “mature” than my two sweet daughters? My two young girls teach me and inspire me daily. I believe I came to earth before them to guide them, lead them, watch over them – a great and marvelous calling and responsibility – but they’re also here to guide, lead, and watch over me. It’s the great circular of life (not to be confused with, though very similar to, the Circle of Life in the Lion King).

    In this sense, what is childhood and adulthood?

    It is one eternal round.

    But that experience – of me raising my children and the humility that brings – and my children being raised – and the humility that takes – clearly has significance and importance to our eternal progression. This explains why Emma was given this promise that she would one day raise the children she lost. She missed that opportunity, but in God’s Plan, nothing is truly missed. It’s all one eternal round. It all comes back. This should be a great comfort to anyone who has lost any loved ones, to anyone who’s felt they missed any mortal opportunity – to raise children, get married, or have any mortal experience – this should be a great comfort to all.

    Another significant message to take from this vision given to Emma is the importance of the family unit. Just because Emma’s children died as infants didn’t mean they weren’t her children. They would always be her children. She would always be their mother. The family unit is important. The family unit is eternal.

    I’ve touched on age, mortality, childhood and adulthood, maturity, and time – 5 of the 6 seemingly random topics. What of our bodies?

    Our bodies have eternal significance and their growth has eternal significance. We can not be like our Father in Heaven until we are resurrected and have bodies like His. I’ve been pondering on this a lot lately. The elements are eternal. Element can not be destroyed. When God created Adam and Eve’s bodies from the dust of the earth, He was taking eternal element and making a tabernacle for them. Our eternal spirits are housed in eternal element. There is something extraordinary and significant about our bodies. We cannot be properly resurrected beings, we cannot be like our Heavenly Father, without attaining our bodies.

    After our resurrection we will attain our bodies for the rest of eternity and therefore be more like our Father.

    Finally, the biggest thing to take away from Emma’s experience is how ignorant we are of the complete workings of God. We can rest assured that a perfect and all-loving Father in heaven will make ALL things right. Every last item that is a concern to us – death, raising children, marriage, relationships, family – all of it will be understood and made right in a perfect way.

    I have no doubt that my Heavenly Father, and your Heavenly Father, loves all of us in such a deep and incomprehensible way. I have faith in His love and His character. I have faith in His Plan. I know all our concerns are but the concerns of a child wanting a chocolate bar at a store. The child can’t see the grand scheme and can’t see how the world can be right while leaving the store without a chocolate bar. One day our eyes will be opened and we will see that the chocolate bar wasn’t as important as we thought, for our Father had created a plan to give us all the chocolate our heart could desire.

    If we follow Him and trust Him, it all will be made right.

  • Resilience and Will to Win

    Resilience and Will to Win

    Before you read this – I start this post with a brief description of this year’s NBA playoffs. After this introduction I get into personal stories and what basketball this year has taught me. If you don’t care about the NBA, Just get through this brief introduction to get to some life lessons learned.

    If you’ve been watching any of the 2025 NBA playoffs then you’ve watched some AWESOME basketball. You’ve also heard about or seen the miraculous Indiana Pacers.

    For the record, I love this team. Tyrese Haliburton has been my second favorite player for some time but he might have taken the top spot.

    I watch all my basketball on a delay (DON’T TEXT ME ABOUT THE SCORE). I put my phone away and don’t look at it to the best of my ability until a game is over.

    The Indiana Pacers have had multiple games this playoffs that I’ve fast forwarded to the end, thinking the game was over, only to get to the end and say, “WHAT HAPPENED!?!” loud enough for my wife to get irritated with me. MULTIPLE TIMES. That happens once and it’s an out of this world comeback. The Pacers have had four of those occurences in one postseason.

    Here is something posted by a guy on Twitter about the Pacers comebacks:

    That is four times the Pacers have basically done the impossible. These Pacers have been so extraordinary they’ve made me stop and think more about resilience, will to win, heart, fight, belief, faith, and all the other never-give-up attitudes and character traits.

    I’ve been thinking about momentum. I’ve been thinking about when the energy in a room changes.

    Here’s my personal glory days basketball story I must now share.

    When I was a junior in high school my team was one game behind the fourth seed for the last playoff spot in our division. We played Centennial High School the final game of the season. If we won, we would be exactly tied with them in record. This would mean we would then need to do a one game playoff to determine who got that last playoff spot.

    We beat Centennial handily in the first game on a Friday night. No contest. We were feeling great. We just beat this team easily. Surely we’d do the same the very next morning, right?

    Wrong.

    Centennial switched up their game plan. They actually ran a triangle and 2 to keep the ball out of mine and another player’s hands. Things were not going well. We were down big. Something had to change. I didn’t expect that something being a 3 inch gash to my left eye.

    With things going so badly, our coach called a timeout. He gave us that classic, “You need to fight and be more aggressive” speech. So I went out there and got right on top of the person I was guarding. They swung an elbow down across my face. I went down in a heap. There was blood everywhere. I was taken off the court. I believe we were down 13 when I left the game. I thought everything was over.

    I went into the back and the trainer tried to butterfly stich my face so I could go back out. It was too close to my eye. He couldn’t stop the bleeding. So I was given a white rag to hold over my face and went to watch the rest of the game. To my surprise, as I walked back out to watch the game, I checked the score. We were up! We had gone on a huge run after that hit to my face.

    I was later told that our coach gave another classic speech, something like, “You’re going to let them do that to your teammate? To Quack? That’s your brother! They just busted his head open! What are you going to do about it!?!?!?!” Apparently my team went crazy. Playing with a new force, energy, and purpose.

    My team decided they weren’t going to lose this game while I bled in the back.

    We did win that game.

    Back to the Pacers.

    If you listen to quotes from Pacers players postgame from some of these miraculous comebacks, it’s all, “We never stopped believing”, “We always knew we would win”, “We never give up”. Usually these statements are just cliches, things players have to say as they can think of nothing else to say to a reporter postgame. Things that have to be said after a comeback. But with these Pacers I BELIEVE IT. I believe they never stop believing. I believe they always thought they were going to win. I know they never give up.

    From glory days 17 years ago to more recent, weekend warrior glory days.

    In a recent pickup basketball game my team was up 13-3. We needed to score one more time to win the game. The other team scored. 13-5. No big deal. The other team hit a three. 13-8. Okay. The other team hit another 3. 13-11. Uhm. The other team hit a three. 13-14. It was now next to score wins. At this point all 10 players on the court had watched the Pacers comeback just two days prior. We were all thinking about it. Those on my team felt like the Thunder. It actually crossed my mind, ‘This is how the Thunder felt, oh man, we’re going to lose this game.’ The 5 players on the other team were thinking, ‘This is how the Pacers felt. We’re going to win this game.’

    I took a moment in the middle of that pickup game and looked around at my team. I knew what they were thinking. I looked at the other team. I knew what they were thinking. Before you say, ‘How did you know what people were thinking?’ Well, when the game ended, we discussed it openly. All 10 of us were talking about the Thunder Pacers game and how we felt as a 13-3 lead turned into a deficit.

    I know you’re wondering how that game ended. I don’t want to brag but… you know… I finally decided enough was enough. Used a pick and roll, got a switch, pivoted into the paint, pivoted around a big player, and finished a left hand scoop layup. It was as cool as it sounds.

    But really. There was a moment when I decided, “We’re not going to lose this game.”

    I could have easily stayed in the mindset that hit me for a brief second, “We ARE going to lose this game.” I had to fight that thought. I fought it. And we won. If I stayed in that thought, there’s no chance we win.

    I know I know, pickup basketball at my church building pales in comparison to the NBA Finals.

    So think about the pressure felt by 5 players on a court surrounded by 18,203 watching fans all thinking the same thing: the Pacers are going to do it again. Think about that energy. Think about what that does to your psyche. If I felt it with 10 players on a church basketball court, what did the Oklahoma City Thunder players feel?

    Pressure. Weight.

    What is resilience? What is fight? What is the will to win?

    This is why I love sports. It teaches us about life.

    I tell the girls I coach all the time – “Yes, this is a game. You will win or you will lose. Things will go well or things will go bad. But how do you handle it? This is a game. What happens when life gets hard? What happens when life is easy? How do you handle it? Basketball teaches you about life. It teaches you about who you are. It teaches you how to handle adversity.” Every player I’ve coached has heard some version of this speech.

    So if life has been hitting you in the face lately and you feel like you’re on the other end of an 11-0 run. If you feel like nothing is going your way and you just can’t win. This is my reminder to you that the Indiana Pacers have done the impossible FOUR times in a month.

    Faith. Belief. Hope. Positivity. Fight. Never give up. This is what makes you a winner, in life and in sports.

  • A Ward Family

    A Ward Family

    When Beth and I got married, we were required to leave our ward or church building we had been attending. That ward was for young single adults (YSA). As we were no longer single and saying goodbye to the days of young, it was time for us to leave.

    That ward held an important place in my heart. It was that ward that helped me come back to Christ. It was the leaders there that helped me re-establish my faith. It was the people there that helped me feel welcome and helped me to stay.

    I didn’t want to leave.

    Beth said we had to.

    After the YSA ward Beth and I joined a family ward that didn’t last long before it was split, boundaries were reset, and we joined another ward.

    We’ve now been in the Chaparral ward for most of our marriage.

    We recently moved so we’re joining a new ward, a new group of people, a new building. It won’t be that different, aside from the people.

    And yet it’s been really hard for me to say goodbye.

    We’re just moving down the street, I’ll still see some of the people from our old ward sometimes. But it won’t be the same.

    I compared it to moving away for college. Moving away for college was really difficult for me. I love my family. I knew when I left for college that everything was changing. I also knew it was something I had to do to grow.

    When I left for college, of course I’d continued to see my family. They’d only be a 5-hour drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every day. I wouldn’t talk to them every day. We wouldn’t be in the same house.

    In the same way, leaving our ward, they’d just be a 15-minute drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every Sunday. I wouldn’t talk to them every week.

    I guess I just don’t like goodbyes.

    It’s difficult saying goodbye to my family every time I leave home.

    And that’s when I realized that the Chaparral Ward in the Scottsdale Arizona North Stake had become my family, and I would miss them.

    My calling in our ward for the last year was Elders Quorum President. Before that I was an Elders Quorum counselor so I’d been in the Elders Quorum Presidency for the Chaparral Ward for a couple years. I had pages and pages of notes. Tons of spreadsheets. Tons of information, and thoughts, and to-dos for and about these people I had come to care a lot about. As I compiled it all into one email for the person taking my place, I realized I wouldn’t need most of this information ever again.

    As I closed 15 browser tabs on my computer that I’d had open for a year, it was like saying goodbye.

    A ward family is unique and special. I will miss those people. I will miss those relationships.

    A little over a year ago the Chaparral ward received a new member. A man was baptized into our ward. Soon after his baptism, he moved to a new area, so he left our ward. But he was still family. He started dating a woman from our ward and they were sealed in the Gilbert temple recently. Beth and I were privileged and blessed to be there.

    Beth and I found a babysitter that very morning, just in time to get to the temple. We were one of the last to arrive and walk into the sacred sealing room. We had only been out of the Chaparral ward a couple weeks. As we walked into the sealing room, we looked around at all familiar faces, all faces from the Chaparral ward. I realized that for this couple getting married, with no local family or family in the church, this was their famliy: Ward Family. Everyone there were members of their church. Everyone there loved them. This is the significance of a ward family. This is the power and the love of a church.

    I guess this is what Christ wants. It’s why His church is important. Over time we spend so much time with these people. We love and we serve. During my time in the Chaparral ward I thought about this group of people so much, sometimes at the expense of my family. Sometimes my family needed me but I was at someone’s new home at 8am Saturday morning helping them move. Often I would be on my phone with someone needing help while my girls crawled over me. The time put into those people I loved so much connected me to them.

    A new Elders Quorum President comes in and the ward will continue with business as usual. All will continue seamlessly. This is the structure of Christ’s church.

    It’s the love of Christ that allows us to serve in these callings. I’m grateful for that calling. It was so hard. I couldn’t believe I only served in that calling for a year because it felt like so much more. That calling stretched my limits and taught me a lot.

    I’m grateful that Christ asks us to serve when we’re so incapable.

    But now I say goodbye and we move on to new opportunities, new people, new chances to serve.

    “To ten million fireflies, I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes

    I got misty eyes as they said farewell.”

    -Owl City

  • A Corny Video but Compelling Witness

    A Corny Video but Compelling Witness

    I came across this extremely corny 8-minute video that I had to share.

    It depicts a somewhat realistic interaction between two high schoolers that is then transported (classic short video trope) into a courtroom debate.

    I’m poking fun at the video because it really is quite cringy. But I love it. Which is why I’m sharing it.

    This video made me think of this post I wrote recently:

    Is the Book of Mormon true? Yes.

    The other day I overheard someone talking about how they don’t believe in God. I didn’t talk to them. But later I daydreamed about what I could have said. I daydreamed about walking up to them and telling them I know God exists. I imagined this imaginary person asking ‘How do you know?’ I would then explain about the Book of Mormon, and that because of it, I can know that God exists. This imaginary person would then ask, ‘How do you know the Book of Mormon is true?’ At which point I could try to explain in less than 1000 words as even my imaginary friend starts to gloss over and not understand/comprehend/care about what I’m saying.

    That’s what this short video made me think of. This video made me think of all the people I wish I could convince that the Book of Mormon is true. And along with that, all the people I wish I could convince that this matters, and it’s important.

    A quick recap from the video and from myself because I can’t help myself –

    Joseph Smith dictated the Book of Mormon without notes or source materials, nothing in front of him, in 65 working days. Today tens of thousands of people his same age stress and fret over 10-page term papers with sources included. The Book of Mormon is 531 pages.

    So he was a literary genius? Quite the contrary, could hardly write an understandable letter.

    So he faked for decades being an illiterate farm boy while dictating the greatest fictional literary work of all time? Uhm, okay. “This would require a beyond creative, theological genius to compile a book that radiates with the spirit.”

    Not to mention the things no one in his day knew about that have since come to light. Things it would have been impossible for him to know.

    As this video says, it’s not about proving the Book of Mormon is true with facts.

    It isn’t fiction. But I can’t prove that to anyone (as much as I think I actually can…). You have to read it then you have to ask God. And then if you get your answer, what next?

    A reminder of what the Book of Mormon asks us to do – prove it. Then be baptized and remember Jesus Christ, the redeemer of this world.  

    Moroni 10:3-5:

    3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

    4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

    5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

    Mosiah 18:8-10:

    8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

    9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

    10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

    If this book is true, what else matters!?!?

    Family = eternity.

    Jesus Christ = resurrection and eternal life.

    Heavenly Father = our Father, we are sons and daughters of God.

    If the Book of Mormon is true these things are true! Don’t day to day issues seem smaller when you realize you will live forever, with your family, as a divine being alongside THE divine beings?

    What a message.

    Read the book. Prove for yourself.

  • One Eternal Round

    One Eternal Round

    I started making some bad decisions in high school. These decisions nearly derailed my life.

    During that time I was becoming friendly with a girl. She knew about some of my bad decision-making.

    One night when we were hanging out I told her I would never get married anywhere but a temple. This interested her. Why, she wondered, would someone like me, who seemingly cared nothing for this religion that I was raised with, care about a temple marriage?

    I explained to her that I believed my church was true. If my church was true, then it held the authority to marry couples for eternity. That church, therefore, sealed families for eternity. I told her if I married someone I didn’t want it to end after we died. If I were to ever get married, I wanted it to be for eternity.

    When I was in college my decision making had gotten increasingly worse.

    On a night I don’t remember, it was later told to me that I bore my testimony to a girl at a party. I don’t remember any of this. Apparently, religion came up and I told her I knew the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was Jesus Christ’s church on the earth.

    This girl asked the obvious question, “If you know it’s true, why are you doing the things you’re doing?”

    I’m told I said that even though I wasn’t living the standards of the church, I couldn’t deny what I knew to be true.

    That testimony that I don’t remember had a big impact on that girl.

    Years later that first girl from high school sent me a postcard. That girl from high school had gotten baptized. Her postcard was one of a few critical moments that helped me come back to church and changed my life.

    A month after that postcard, in the midst of my difficult journey back to church, I stumbled upon a Facebook message that had gotten blocked and I’d never seen. It was from years prior. It was from the girl at the college party, the girl I bore a drunken testimony to.

    She told me she’d gotten baptized. She told me she had never let me know how big an impact that testimony had on her ultimately getting baptized. I visited her and her budding family. She was sealed in the temple. She had an eternal family. She was happy. It gave me strength to continue on the path of repentance that was so, so hard.

    The girl from high school got married in the temple and now has three kids. She has an eternal family. She is happy.

    A patriarchal blessing is extremely sacred. I share a short line from my blessing with the utmost reverence:

    “Trouble not yourself over lost days, for you are an eternal being”

    I can’t tell you how comforting those words were when I was trying to find strength to stay faithful, and how important those words continue to be to me.

    It is all one eternal round to God (D&C 3:2). He knew I would stumble. What did He do when I stumbled? Put two people in my path that I could somehow, inexplicably, impact at my lowest, during my most degraded behaviors.

    What did He do?

    He put those two people back in my path when they could help me back. He put two people back into my life to help me remember what I always knew, what I was getting dangerously close to forgetting. He put two people in my path to remind me who I was. I am nothing special of myself, but I am a son of God. That is special.

    I marvel at the workings of God. That He loves us so much that He gave us a world so we could leave our Heavenly home, just as children leave their homes here on earth to go out and learn, and grow, and fall. He gave us an earth to fall. But He allowed us a way back.

    I know there is a way back.

    I know that Jesus Christ allows that way back.

    I know that God planned for everything. We are His work and His glory.

    I can never deny what I know.