*This was written in 2022, thus the mention to only Ivy.
Beth and I are blessed in our lives to have the maximum amount of support from both of our families. If we ever needed support or help in any way, we would have help from all sides.
Not everybody has that.
Some have moved away from their support systems. Some don’t have support systems.
Recently we had a rough day in our household. I was in the office so Beth was on her own with Ivy. Ivy had been slightly under the weather and Beth was not feeling well at all. I knew it was bad when Beth did something she has never done and hasn’t done since: asked me to skip practice with my basketball team and come home.
Right at that time I was responding to a thoughtful text from someone at church. She had complimented me on a talk I had recently given at church. This person from church had noticed Beth wasn’t at church the prior week. She asked if Beth was doing ok. I mentioned that Beth was under the weather. This kind woman from church asked, as she always does, if there was anything she could do to help. Bring dinner over maybe?
Normally I would have said we’re ok, and thank you. But I had just received this code red from Beth and knew she was struggling. I told this saint from church that a meal would help a lot.
A couple hours later – chicken, green beans, potato salad, rolls, mac n cheese, and ice cream sandwiches were dropped off at our doorstep.
We are fast approaching the time where I could be ANYWHERE in the world, and a faithful servant of Jesus Christ would be there to support me. I realized what a comfort it is to know I can go anywhere and feel instant brotherhood, love, and support from members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I am beyond grateful for my family. I am also beyond grateful for my church family. I know that it is the light of Christ that makes someone who is busy in her own life to drop everything and bring dinner to another family. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a community of loving support and will soon cover the whole globe.
I hope we never forget part of why the Church of Jesus Christ exists. It exists to bring food to those in need. It exists to provide a platform for us to stand with those in need of comfort, mourn with those who mourn, succor those in need of succor (Mosiah 18:9).
In honor of General Conference this weekend, I’m going to post a short and simple message.
I know that we take the Book of Mormon for granted. I know that there are infinite purposes and benefits to us having the Book of Mormon on earth.
Why do we need the Book of Mormon? Below is one critical reason.
The Lord declared that there would be a sign before the gathering of His people, and before He started to establish Zion.
The Book of Mormon is that sign. It is God’s sign that the Abrahamic covenant is still in force. The elect of the Lord are being gathered. This has been prophesied.
This is why we need the Book of Mormon.
“In fact, if there were no Book of Mormon, the promised gathering of Israel would not occur.”
-President Russell M. Nelson
Or else where are people gathering? Do we see any other gathering in the world today? Surely it must be happening. God can’t be a liar.
Christ gives the parable of wheat and tares in Matthew 13:24-30:
24 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
25 But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
26 But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.
1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you my servants, concerning the parable of the wheat and of the tares:
2 Behold, verily I say, the field was the world, and the apostles were the sowers of the seed;
3 And after they have fallen asleep the great persecutor of the church, the apostate, the whore, even Babylon, that maketh all nations to drink of her cup, in whose hearts the enemy, even Satan, sitteth to reign—behold he soweth the tares; wherefore, the tares choke the wheat and drive the dchurch into the wilderness.
4 But behold, in the last days, even now while the Lord is beginning to bring forth the word, and the blade is springing up and is yet tender—
5 Behold, verily I say unto you, the angels are crying unto the Lord day and night, who are ready and waiting to be sent forth to reap down the fields;
6 But the Lord saith unto them, pluck not up the tares while the blade is yet tender (for verily your faith is weak), lest you destroy the wheat also.
7 Therefore, let the wheat and the tares grow together until the harvest is fully ripe; then ye shall first gather out the wheat from among the tares, and after the gathering of the wheat, behold and lo, the tares are bound in bundles, and the field remaineth to be burned.
Quick rundown:
Verses 1-3 explains the great apostasy that occurred to the church after the apostles “have fallen asleep” (aka were killed).
Verse 4 reminds us that we’re now speaking of our day.
Verse 5 tells us, “the angels are crying unto the Lord… to reap down the fields.” That can be interpreted different ways but basically the angels want to start with the harvest. The harvest can be considered the gathering of souls at the end of times. This leads to
Verse 6 where the Lord tells the angels to hold off on the harvest because He doesn’t want to destroy the wheat. The wheat are the righteous, those followers of the Lord. The tares are those who oppose God.
Verse 7 we learn that wheat will grow alongside tares until the end. Then the wheat will be separated from the tares, and the tares will be burned.
I believe the most telling part of those verses is in verse 6 where it says, “for verily your faith is weak.”
The Lord doesn’t want to pull up the tares because the wheat is still “tender” with weak faith.
I’ve heard this parable many times but for the first time a thought occurred to me. What would it mean for the angels to reap the harvest and pull up the tares while the wheat is still weak? The tares being pulled up signifies the evil people of the world being taken away. The wheat would be too weak to handle this, the wheat is too intertwined with the tares. Wheat and tares, of course, represent people. What does it mean that the wheat is too tender for the tares to be taken? The thought that occurred to me was that the wheat, or faithful people, would have their faith shattered if the tares around them were taken. Could this represent the tares of some friends, family, and people we care about? What if God let loose the angels and took up the tares. How many faithful people would lose loved ones?
“The good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one”.
Christ doesn’t detail the ok seed or the middle ground seed. We are good seeds or we are tares. We are working for Christ or working against Him. We are faithful or we lack faith.
One day the wheat will be separated from the tares and the end will come. When that day comes, which side will we be on? The side of the wheat or the side of the tares? It’s not enough to be lukewarm as the adversary intensifies his attack. Wheat is nourishing, tares are not. There’s no middle ground. You are either a wheat or a tare.
Sage is very much forming full sentences now (callback to last post). She has a lot to say. A really neat thing to see is Sage’s adoration for her big sister. She follows Ivy around everywhere she goes. She’s started wearing Ivy’s slides to school, even though they’re way too big for her, because they’re Ivy’s old shoes.
Sage is still shy. She’s getting better, but still has her moments. She’ll open up to people rarely. If a stranger is around she becomes super coy. She’s gotten especially better with family and people she sees regularly. But once she knows you and trusts you, she is full Sagey Sunshine. She is a linchpin in nursery at church. She walks in and gets other kids toys. It’s weird because despite being shy she likes to sing as loudly as she can during sacrament meeting in church. The only way to get her to be quiet is to tell her everyone is watching her because she’s being too loud. She immediately quiets down and starts looking around. I hope I’m not irreparably damaging her psyche.
Ivy’s growth and transformation since Wren was born is extraordinary. She still has her toddler moments. but overall she seems like a new person. A new maturity has immerged. She is smotheringly loving with Wren.
Ivy and Sage are constantly asking to hold Wren. They love her.
I’ve been telling people the oldest child has to grow up fast, the middle child has to learn to survive, and the youngest child will be the toughest. Wren has been mauled since the second she got home. If you look closely at her eyes you can’t help but see a, “I left heaven for this?” Look on her face.
It’s interesting watching this dynamic develop between Ivy, Sage, and Wren, and then think about myself and my siblings. I think about how quickly I had to grow up, how Adie followed me around, and how much I used to beat up Garrick and Dresdan.
Recently Garrick sent me a video. It was a guy talking about his older brother. He was saying how he was grateful for his older brother because he watched his older brother take all the speed bumps so he didn’t have to. That meant a lot to me.
Now I’m seeing Ivy already start taking the speed bumps that Sage and Wren won’t have to.
Transition into a heartwarming sister story.
Bedtime is of course an adventure/disaster/struggle pretty much every night. Ivy and Sage share a room. Most nights they lay down, all seems quiet, then Sage gets out of bed, turns on the light, climbs onto Ivy’s bed, and they start playing. This would be okay, except that it turns into tears and pain almost 100% of the time if left unchecked.
One night we put Ivy and Sage to bed a little earlier than usual. I watched on the monitor as Sage turned on the light and got into Ivy’s bed. I went upstairs and opened the door. Sage immediately reacted by starting to frantically scoot towards the edge of the bed, as she was used to me angrily coming in to tell her to get back in bed. This night I decided to give another message. I told Sage she could stay with Ivy as long as they did calm and quiet activities like read and tell stories. Sage got so excited. The smile on her face. She scooted back toward Ivy and started quietly clapping with the biggest grin on her face.
Ivy said, “Okay, I be just a little crazy.”
I told her no crazy at all. She said, “Just this much crazy,” and showed her forefinger and thumb pressed tightly together indicating a tiny bit of crazy. I reiterated that there was to be no crazy. I left them to quietly play. They ended up peacefully going to sleep.
Bedtime, sitting and playing quietly together, turning on the light, I’ve learned every so often it’s okay to just let it go. It eventually ends up in Sage crying, but at that point she’ll just get in bed and go to sleep. Ivy will usually lie down quietly facing her lamp going through her books and audio sleep stories.
We recently moved. The days during the move were…hard. It was difficult for the girls. I could tell. It’s interesting how our personalities, the things people don’t see, get passed onto our children. I could sense my girls feeling unsettled because I felt unsettled.
I didn’t recognize Ivy and Sage during the move. They were not themselves. In the midst of this chaos, after they went to sleep, I had to write as I do every night. I came back to this post to continue on it.
Writing about them was just what I needed. I re-read this in progress post and it reminded me of the normal disposition of my girls. This wasn’t them.
I came back and read this –
I was in the car with Ivy on a long drive. I was zoned out, in my own head.
Suddenly Ivy said something to me. I just responded automatically without even thinking about what she said, “Yeah, Ivy.”
Then I processed what she said. “The moms on the bus go beep beep beep.”
Once I processed it, I realized Ivy was making our classic joke, saying something on the bus does something it doesn’t actually do.
I cracked up and told Ivy she got me, and that it was really funny.
She was silent so I didn’t know if she was over it because I took too long.
I looked in the rearview mirror and she was sitting in her car seat with a smug grin on her face.
“I made Dad laugh,” she said just loud enough for me to hear.
Gosh I love these girls so much and I’ll try not to turn this Ivy and Sage moments post into a parenting post but… parenting is so hard. All the cliches – there is no playbook for this, I don’t know what I’m doing, etc.
I am an apprentice parent. And who am I an apprentice to?
The Father of the universe. What an honor. I know I’ve written about this before but how could He possibly entrust me – so incredibly flawed and faulty – to care for these precious souls?
Anyways, back on to the positive, funny, and uplifting moments of parenting two amazing girls.
Sage is crazy in the pool. Ivy as a baby had a semblance of this behavior before she got old enough to know better, but it was nothing like Sage. If we’re sitting on a step in the pool, Sage will repeatedly walk to the edge of the step and dive out into the water as far as she can. She’s not just stepping off the edge, she is diving. She’ll do one of two things at this point. She will either curl up into a ball or she will stretch out completely like she’s trying to reach the other end of the pool. It goes without saying we watch her very closely in and near the pool.
My family likes to go cliff jumping at the lake. It’s one of our favorite activities. Looks like Sage is going to be my cliff jumper. Ivy will too, but Sage seems to have an innate desire for danger.
As a kid I hated roller coasters. Hated. I would be peer-pressured to go on rides, and I would hate it. I remember my cousin Sarah loving roller coasters and having the feeling that I needed to toughen up. My parents now say it was Adie getting old enough to ride roller coasters that made me start embracing them. Now there’s nothing I love more than thrill rides and thrill activities. Roller coasters, sky diving, cliff jumping – these are my favorite things to do. If you told my 8-year-old self I’d grow up and my three favorite things would be roller coasters, jumping out of an airplane, and doing a gainer off a 35-foot cliff, I’d probably have thought that unlikely. It’s interesting how those around us influence us so much, sometimes for the better.
Like I said, I think Sage is going to be a natural cliff-jumper. Ivy may see that and become a cliff-jumper as well.
Ivy does already love the lake, though. Let the record show.
There’s a mini battle Beth and I have had the last two summers when we visit Las Vegas. Beth doesn’t want Ivy to go to the lake with me and my family. I always think it goes without saying that she’s going.
I kind of understand Beth’s reservations.
I understand that Ivy is little, it can be the slightest bit dangerous if we don’t watch her closely (which we do), it’s hot, open water, etc.
On the other hand, Ivy has to come to the lake with us!
Beth’s main concern I know is that I’m not fully engaged in parenthood when at the lake. Hard to watch your daughter while you’re leaping off cliffs. That said, when I’m not jumping off cliffs, there’s nothing I want more than to be sitting with Ivy on a boat, a kayak, or swimming with her.
When we finally did take Ivy to the lake for the first time, she loved it. She spent 8 hours at the lake, took a little cat nap in the shade while cruising around in a boat, went home, drove to St. George, and proceeded to stay up all night. Ivy’s a lake girl.
One last funny Ivy story and Sage story to conclude this post.
Ivy the other day started to say, “We’re going to do Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and Christmas.” As I was starting to think to myself, ‘Wow, how’d she know the order of holidays? My girl is growing up..’ Ivy concluded, “We’re going to do it backwards this year.” That made me chuckle.
As I mentioned, we moved. The new neighborhood is full of little kids under the age of 9. Coming from essentially a retirement community at our condo, that’s been great.
The other day Ivy and Sage were sitting in the grass playing with a new friend. Ivy was talking a lot, telling this new friend stuff. Sage, still her coy and quiet self at times, was repeating everything Ivy was saying, just extremely quiet. So Ivy would say, “This is how you make rock people” and Sage would whisper, “how..make.. rock people.”
In ancient times the cry “Unclean!” Would warn of lepers near. “Unclean! Unclean!” the words rang out; Then all drew back in fear,
Lest by the touch of lepers’ hands They, too, would lepers be. There was no cure in ancient times, Just hopeless agony. · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · But there was One, the record shows, Whose touch could make them pure; Could ease their awful suffering, Their rotting flesh restore. · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · The day He made ten lepers whole, The day He made them clean, Well symbolized His ministry And what His life would mean. However great that miracle, This was not why He came. He came to rescue every soul From death, from sin, from shame. · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · What must be done to make us clean We cannot do alone. The law, to be a law, requires A pure one must atone. He taught that justice will be stayed Till mercy’s claim be heard If we repent and are baptized And live by every word. · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · If we could only understand All we have heard and seen, We’d know there is no greater gift Than those two words—“Washed clean!”
Leprosy was a terrible disease. The skin rotting before the afflicted’s own eyes.
One day we will stand before Christ and feel how unclean we really are. How grateful will we be for the Atonement in that moment? I’m grateful that we can be washed clean from all our misdeeds, errant thoughts, unkindness, and mistakes. All because He suffered our folly for us.
While I’m not overexcited to see all my shortcomings, it will be a powerful moment to truly see and understand what Christ did for me. I have an idea now. One day I’ll see and know.
No Coincidences 