No Coincidences

Category: Books

  • Fences or Guardrails?

    Fences or Guardrails?

    I read a book I probably wouldn’t admit willingly reading, except that a cool experience and message came out of it, so here we are.

    That book was called Are Your Standards Fences or Guardrails by John Bytheway. There’s nothing wrong with this book. It’s just… a book I would be embarrassed to read as a kid as much as I was embarrassed to be reading it as an adult. I mean, just look at the cover, I think that says it all. It’s a super uplifting and positive book to help teenagers live morally and with high standards in an increasingly low standard world. If I start a book I’m going to finish it. As with any book, something will be learned from it. This book had a particularly cool experience come from it.

    The cool experience that came from reading this book developed out of a realization that Beth brought to my attention.

    I’ve gotten many of the books I’m currently reading from my grandparents. Many still have the sticker on the inside cover that reads, “Mr. & Mrs. Leach.”  As I was reading this book and wondering, ‘Why am I reading this?’ I noticed, like I often do, where the touch of my grandma was. This book was full of ear-marked pages.

    I mentioned it to Beth. “Here’s evidence of Grandma.”

    Beth asked what year the book was published and I told her.

    Beth wondered out loud, “2003…. So, who would she have had in mind while reading this?”

    My first thought was nobody. Her kids were already grown up with kids of their own by 2003. Then I slowly connected the dots. 2003….I would have been 13…. Oh… Grandma was likely thinking about me (along with others) while she read this. 

    It added some reverence to this book. Here I was approaching 20 years after my grandma read this book with me in mind and I was reading it with my daughter (only Ivy was born when I was reading this) and younger siblings in mind. It’s amazing how life changes. It’s amazing how we change. Every page my grandma ear-marked was for good reason. She had reason to worry about me at that time. At that time, I was on my way to breaking every guideline from that book.

    Here I am 20 years later having the same worries about the younger generation.

    It’s partly why I write all these silly posts. Maybe one day my daughter will read them and have an idea of who I was in 2020, and 2022, and 2025. Because by the time she’s reading this in 2033 I’ll be well on my way to grumpy, old, so-out-of-touch father.

    ***TANGENT*** I already feel that way this weekend playing catchphrase with my 19 year-old cousin and her friend. Did you know a 19-year-old doesn’t remember 9-11? That hit me like a slap to the face, woah! The most impactful and memorable day of my life was not experienced by a generation that is now approaching or already in their 20s! That’s crazy. That same cousin has never seen an episode of Boy Meets World. It’s a crazy thing getting older.

    Anyways, this was less about the book and more about what it made me realize. Life is so fluid. I remember being 15 and being convinced I knew everything. Now I’m in my 30s and realize I know almost nothing.

    Life moves and changes so quickly. It’s an amazing thing. I don’t know what closing or profound thought I have to finish this post. I guess I’ll close with this:  to my 12 year-old daughter in 2033, know I once thought I knew everything and it took many years of stupidity to realize how little I know. It took me a long time to realize the adults around me that I thought were hypocritical, or judgemental, or out of touch, or just trying to keep me from having fun really only ever had my best interests in mind.

    To my two girls: I love you and the adults around you love you. All we’ll ever want is the best for you and to protect you. I promise you that.

  • Joseph Smith’s Long Night

    Joseph Smith’s Long Night

    Two thoughts from reading A Marvelous Work and a Wonder about Joseph Smith –

    From his story of Moroni coming to his bedroom three times throughout the night:

    Joseph Smith is up all night having visions. In the morning he goes to work the farm and his dad can tell he’s out of sorts and sends him home. On his way home he literally collapses with exhaustion.

    It occurred to me – wouldn’t it have been convenient for Joseph Smith to have gotten this instruction at any other time besides in the middle of the night when he had to do hard heavy labor in the morning?  Didn’t God know Joseph Smith was going to collapse on his way back home? Didn’t God care?

    God rarely asks us to do easy things. Things aren’t meant to be convenient. Things are meant to make us grow.

    Another thing, the collapse led directly to Moroni returning and Joseph being told to return to his father. Do you think when Joseph collapsed with exhaustion he might have wondered, “Why did he have to come in the middle of the night?” Joseph didn’t know the end from the beginning. He was directed to his father who believed Joseph when he said he saw an angel and  his father told him to immediately go follow the commands he was given.

    Which leads to another thought I had.

    What kind of fascinating teenager was Joseph Smith? Today, a teenager says, “I don’t feel good I can’t go to school” and parents are skeptical. Joseph Smith, in a situation where many teenagers would be trying to avoid intense manual labor, told his father he saw an angel “that commanded me to *cough not farm today, I mean, go get some plates from a hill *cough take a nap, I mean, yeah.”

    And that father, instead of thinking, “My lazy teenage son was up too late playing video games (or whatever teenagers did in the 1800s) and now he doesn’t want to work,” thought instead, yes, that was a vision from God, I believe you, go do what the angel told you to do.

    Jokes aside, the point I’m trying to make is that Joseph Smith must have been a fascinating young man. His father believed him. I wonder if, when he came back without the plates, his father wondered if he’d been duped into letting his son have an afternoon nap on a hill. This appeared to not be the case. Joseph’s family believed him from the beginning. For four years when he visited the hill annually. For months when he had nothing to show for the plates he had recovered. It was some time before he started to provide real evidence, a translation. Before the translation started, his entire family just had to take his word for it.

    Again, what kind of extraordinary person was a 14-year-old Joseph Smith that his father immediately believed he did see an angel, he was commanded to do something, he was not making it up. I believe he must have been a very honest young man. I believe he was young, still a rough stone, but destined to eventually become a prophet of God.

  • Defense of Love You Forever

    Defense of Love You Forever

    Love You Forever written by Robert Munsch and illustrated by Sheila McGraw.

    Beth made a big mistake and I’m calling her out here. She has criticized Love You Forever. For those unfamiliar with this fabulous children’s book, you can watch a 5-minute video HERE to have it read out loud to you. Or you can just read my quick summary here. I suggest you watch the 5-minute read-aloud video, but prepare for the waterworks.

    Love You Forever takes you through the life of a baby boy, who turns into a toddler, who turns into a teenager, who turns into an adult. Throughout the book the mother occasionally comes into her son’s room at night and rocks him to sleep singing:

    “I’ll love you forever,

    I’ll like you for always,

    As long as I’m living

    my baby you’ll be.”

    I won’t spoil the ending for you, but that is the gist.

    I’m just going to say it: I have a hard time getting through this book when I read it to Ivy or Sage. It’s emotional thinking about them growing up to have their own house and yet, still being my babies.

    Beth, on the other hand, has orchestrated an all-out assault on the precious, nostalgic, loved book. I tried to reach out to Beth for a record of that social media post. Apparently, she burned the evidence.

    Recently Beth shared a mom forum post from a couple people who agreed with me. They said the book made them emotional. This led to Beth and I discussing the book, yet again. You’d be surprised how much this book has been discussed between us. Enough for me to take it to the blog!

    Beth says it’s weird that the mother in the book is breaking into the house of her son as a grown man and rocking him to sleep. I say she needs to understand and appreciate the metaphor in this story. Obviously, the mother isn’t breaking into her grown son’s home. It’s metaphorical. It is a beautiful, powerful, and emotional metaphor.

    I told her she’d rue the day she attacked this book.

    So, Beth and I were discussing it yet again. We were talking about the book over text. There was mudslinging going on. Threats of keys being given to her dad with approval to come into our home and rock Beth to sleep. Claims of emotional vacancy and lack of metaphorical understanding.

    Amidst these joking exchanges, we were also discussing an upcoming trip. I was driving with Ivy that day after work to Las Vegas. Beth was flying to Utah to surprise her sister for a bridal shower. Beth was taking Sage with her. It was going to be the first time Beth was ever away from Ivy for any serious amount of time.

    That’s when, right in the middle of our Love You Forever discussion, Beth said this:

    ”Take good care of her. I know you will but it’s hard to let go. Remember truck stops are not safe places. And don’t forget to keep the back door shut so she doesn’t slip into the pool when people are busy playing games. Listen to her stories and give her hugs when she’s sad. It’s okay to help her be tough but also needs love. Drive extra safely. She’s my life! FaceTime me!”

    Apparently, Beth is lacking in irony awareness along with metaphorical awareness. The irony was not lost on me.

    I replied, “It’s like you’re metaphorically still going into her room every night to rock her to sleep. Are you going to be ok? (You attacked the wrong book).”

    And with that statement, I won. What do you think about Love You Forever? Who’s got it right? Is it creepy or beautiful?

    **Mandatory disclaimer for those who may misinterpret my jest as actual insults. Beth is the smartest, most intelligent, most aware, and understanding person I know. That’s why I married her. This is all in good fun. I don’t actually think she doesn’t understand metaphor. Now sarcasm… that she definitely struggles with.

  • Books in 2022

    Books in 2022

    It’s time for my annual list of books read last year. My 2022 list is down quite a bit due to some non-book reading and studying. I’ll rank the books from favorite to least favorite with a short description of what I remember about the book or what led to its ranking.

    Without further ado, here is my list of books from 2022:

    1. Marvelous Work and a Wonder
      • One of my favorite (and most important) books ever, so despite it being my third or fourth read, still has to top the list. This book lays out just how marvelous a work and a wonder the restoration of Christ’s gospel is.
    2. God Emperor of Dune (book 4)
      • This is the fourth book in the Dune series and comes ahead of Children of Dune and Dune Messiah.
    3. Children of Dune (book 3)
      • It’s hard to separate all these books, they blend into one in my mind, but I think God Emperor was my favorite after book 1, followed by Children of Dune. We’ll get to Dune Messiah later.
    4. 5000 Year Leap
      • This book was given to me by CJ Matthews and as you can see by its ranking, I highly enjoyed it. It resulted in a blog post which is a sign of a good book that made me think.
    5. Project Hail Mary
      • This was another recommended book, this one from John Safstrom. I loved this book, close call between this and the author’s other popular book turned feature film, The Martian starring Matt Damon.
    6. What a Difference a Daddy Makes
      • Yet another recommended book, thanks Mitch Waters who recommended this book after he heard my second daughter was coming. Must read for any girl dad.
    7. The Cuckoo’s Calling
      • J.K. Rowling is a modern marvel. I love her and her writing. While reading, knowing Robert Galbraith is a pseudonym, I couldn’t help but recognize her amazing writing style. This book was so good it made me continue on with the series and I’m currently on book 3, “Career of Evil.”
    8. Night Chills
      • Classic Dean Koontz, spooky and fast-paced. I recommended this to a friend along with a long Stephen King novel (Tommyknockers). The friend quit Tommyknockers and finished Night Chills.
    9. Dune Messiah (book 2)
      • This one drops a bit below the others because I think it was more of a transition book to keep the series going, at least that’s what Frank Herbert seems to have said about the book. It’s still ranked highly because the Dune series is so awesome and sometimes you need bridging books to make the next ones that much better.
    10. Eli’s Promise
      • Any book that makes me cry multiple times probably needs to be in the top ten. This book was a split between Holocaust and modern-day time lines, jumping around a bunch, which kept things interesting throughout.
    11. Herland
      • Classic book I never read in high school but when it was assigned reading for a class I took this year, I decided to actually read the whole book. Glad I did. Book is based around the idea of a women-only society.
    12. Ford County Stories
      • I really like John Grisham. This is a book of short stories focused around Ford County. You know an author is good when they take a topic you have zero interest in, like a small Mississippi town, and make you love it.
    13. Knees Over Toes
      • This book was tough to rank because it made huge changes to my daily habits and saved my Achilles, but can’t be rated higher as a book than the ones above it. Recommended to me by my brother Garrick.
    14. Simplified Husbandship Simplified Fathership
      • This was an impactful book overall but a notch below What a Difference a Daddy Makes (#6). Definitely made me think more seriously about being a father and husband.
    15. Silmarillion
      • I Enjoy the Lord of the Rings stuff, but the mythology can be a bit to keep up with sometimes. I really enjoyed the Silmarillion, but Lord of the Rings books in general are lower on my list due to their density. If I’m reading a fantasy fiction, I like to spend less time trying to understand geography.
    16. Book of Lost Tales Vol 2
      • See notes on Silmarillion, this one is more dense than the Silmarillion since the Silmarillion is like a mythological overview, which made it more enjoyable to me.
    17. The Book of Lost Tales Vol 1
      • The Books of Lost Tales are going way back in the Lord of the Rings mythology, farther than JRR Tolkien ever got published. They’re his son compiling his notes and other works to put together more stories. I enjoy them, but again, very dense and a lot of geography to try to understand sometimes.
    18. A Guide to Tolkien
      • This was basically an encyclopedia of Tolkien. Someday I’ll read the actual encyclopedia.
    19. Just to Illustrate
      • This was a collection of sayings from LeGrand Richards, thus the saying “Just to illustrate,” which apparently was something he was known for saying. Very much enjoyed this book. Though it’s low on the list, LeGrand is one of my favorite people ever.
    20. Faith in the Service
      • This book was all about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that served in the military. As I review this list I realize I didn’t read many bad books this year. I really enjoyed this book, and it still falls near the bottom for the year.
    21. Mormon Reflections: The Path to Mountain Meadows
      • This was a fictional account of what could have led to the horrific events of the Mountain Meadows massacre. Made me think about things. Made me wonder what events could have led to people doing something so heinous.
    22. Joshua Man of Faith
      • This is from a series of books that details the ancient prophets. I read the Moses (# 24) one last year. I didn’t like this one as much as the Moses one. It’s hard to compete with Moses.
    23. Profiles of the Presidents
      • This was a biographical book of all the Presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
    24. True to the Faith
      • Almost feels wrong having this so low, but it is essentially a textbook. A textbook on faith, but still a textbook. Weird having a book so low that I feel I should read at least once a year.
    25. What Da Vinci Didn’t Know
      • A book being this low basically means it didn’t stand out to me. I think this book was basically trying to get in on the Da Vinci Code movie hype. I don’t remember learning anything super interesting from this book besides that Leonardo da Vinci was “Leonardo from Vinci.”
    26. 40 Years and Marching On
      • Despite probably liking this book more than What Da Vinci Didn’t Know, I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything about the book until I found it on my shelf. A book that un-memorable gets demoted. It was a BYU studies book that was interesting but still bottom of the list for the year due to being forgotten.

    Additional reading:

    1. Book of Mormon
    2. Doctrine & Covenants
      • Finished Doctrine and Covenants sections 133-Official Declarations. Read alongside two student manuals.
    3. New Testament
      • Book of Matthew and started Book of Mark, reading alongside New Testament Student Manual.
    4. Come Follow Me lesson each week
    5. Did a semester of school and completed 15 credits.
      • Most memorable reading was Nietzche.

    Couldn’t pick my favorite for the cover photo, so keeping with tradition from last year:

  • A Bride Goes West

    A Bride Goes West

    What’s the worst thing you could do to hurt yourself? I think one of the answers might be to feel sorry for yourself.

    I read this in an autobiography from a woman who left a comfortable East Coast lifestyle to become a frontierswoman. This meant no running water, no clean floors, no society or people within any reasonable distance, and many other missing conveniences we take for granted.

    She stated in her book that the worst thing she could possibly do through all her many (and there were many) difficulties was to start to feel sorry for herself. She said she thought that was one of the worst things a person could do.

    I thought about that, and I think I agree. Once you start to feel sorry for yourself it’s completely downhill from there. A mole hole becomes a mountain. Inconveniences become distressing moments. The cliché that is all too true: life is what you make of it.

    This woman who lived such a hard life came from a great position of power to speak on feeling sorry for oneself. Of all the people I’ve read about, she’s near the top of the list of someone that had good reason to complain. And yet, her life would have likely been much more difficult had she succumbed to her own self-pity.

    These are my other favorite quotes from this book:

    “I have always thought that fear is our greatest sin. It shows such a lack of faith.”

    “I was worn out, and once more took to feeling sorry for myself…  I stuck to my rule of not whining.”

    “I have often noticed that it is the little things that trouble a woman, while only the big ones trouble a man.”

    “When you have lived without money as much as I had, it loses a great deal of its power to hurt you.”

    “I led a hard life. Perhaps-but I don’t think an easy one is ever half so full.”