No Coincidences

Category: Uncategorized

  • Grandma, I will see you soon

    Grandma, I will see you soon

    I believe Sandra Leach was in her early 30s when she accepted the message of the missionaries of Jesus Christ. I have thanked her for that choice every day of my entire life.

    I love you Grandma. Thank you.

    The greatest gift my grandmother gave me was the gift of a gospel household and a gift of the knowledge of the great Plan of Heavenly Father.  Why is this the greatest gift?  Death should hurt.  Because I know where my grandma is going and because I know I will see her again, death becomes less a sting of bitterness and more a quiet celebration.  I know who is greeting my grandmother, I know the peace and joy she will have as she waits for us to finish our race.  Especially when a good person passes, and there’s few better than my grandma, Sandra Leach, I know where she’s going is so marvelous and wonderful.  It will be sad for us who have to stay.

    It will be a brief stay away.

    I know that Grandma has a lot to do. I know that she’s working alongside Laura now.

    Soon, one day in the near future, when my race is hopefully won, I will meet her again.  We’ll sit in some glorious place I can’t describe; I don’t have the vocabulary or ability to imagine the setting of Heaven.  We will sit and we will go over every single book she read, that she passed to me, that I read.  The books will be in the hundreds!  The notes we’ll share!  I can’t wait.  We’ll have so much to discuss.  She’ll have so much more to teach me.  Just like she taught me here, she’ll teach me there.  I’ll thank her.  I imagine there are happy tears in Heaven.  I can already see and feel tears of joy pouring from my face as I thank her for leading me there.  I will thank her for her perseverance, effort, and determination to raise a righteous home.  I will thank her for teaching my mother about God, and Jesus Christ.  I will thank her for listening to the missionaries.  I will thank her for her faith.  I will thank her for the foundation she established so I could live a joyful life leading to the ultimate joy.  That moment with her and my loved ones.  Discussing our life past and the great future ahead.

    I long for eternity.  I know eternity is just on the other side of me closing my eyes for good from this existence.  I don’t long for death.  I’m not anxious to leave all I love here.  I am excited for my future of laying a foundation of love, faith, and obedience for my daughters.  I am excited for my time on this earth to do all the things my grandmother taught me were important.

    How can I ever thank my grandma for what she’s given me?  I can only give it to my daughters and all those around me.

    Thank you, Grandma.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.

    I don’t long for death, but I am excited for it.  I am excited for eternity with you.  I have no fear of death because I know it will be on God’s time and terms.  I know it will be for a purpose.  Death will only mean temporarily leaving others to reunite with family that has gone ahead.  How great it is to have no fear of death.  How great it is to know why I’m here. Thank you, Grandma, for that gift.

  • Watching Kids Grow

    Watching Kids Grow

    I know everyone with kids has experienced this, so I’ll try to do it some justice by putting it into words.

    Watching your kid(s) go from potato to living, breathing, functioning being is the most amazing, rewarding, spectacular thing.

    I once heard an interview with an extremely successful man.  Like – hundreds of millions, top of his field, successful.  He was asked, what would be your one regret?  His answer?  What could someone with so much success possibly regret?  He said he wished he had more kids.  I think this individual had 6 kids, but he said something that stood out to me.  He said something like, “I don’t think anyone gets older and says, ‘man, I had too many kids.’”  You’re much more likely to get older and say to yourself, “my kids are my complete joy, they are everything, I wish we had more.”

    I know that in the moment having children is so hard… so much work.  But I think I agree with that statement from that successful man.  I doubt when it’s all said and done I’ll say, “I really had too many kids.”

    Watching Ivy develop my habits, my vocabulary, and at the same time develop independence and become her own little person – it’s unbelievable.

    For anyone debating having children, I have one thing to say:  It will provide the greatest joy you could ever experience. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear with my writing.

    I love Ivy and my family with all my heart.

    I didn’t plan on this.  I was actually writing this as its own post, not an announcement post.  But what better way to announce?

    Beth and I are expecting our second child.

    This brings stress, two children under the age of two.  Of course it brings stress.  But I know I’ll never regret it.  I can’t wait to welcome our new daughter.

    And Happy Mothers Day to the greatest partner.  Love you.

  • Inheritance and Lehi’s Blessing

    Inheritance and Lehi’s Blessing

    I have always been confused by the blessings of Lehi to his posterity in the 4th chapter of 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon.  For one, there is the obvious blessing that is missing: Nephi’s.  For another, there seem to be mixed messages.  Laman and Lemuel have a blessing, but it may be removed?  What does Sam get?  Who is the actual new leader- Nephi or Laman?

    In an article titled Lehi’s Last Will and Testament: A Legal Approach, John Welch goes into great detail on the legality and custom of Lehi’s blessing, and answers all of the above questions. I’d encourage anyone interested to read his whole article. It strengthened my testimony of the authenticity of the Book of Mormon and reminds us of the real world that Nephi was a part of.

    I want to go over some highlights from John Welch’s article that explain Lehi’s blessing in its cultural context. Credit also goes to Alan C. Miner who put together the points I found most relevant to the above questions.

    Inheritance and succession was an important aspect of near eastern culture. It was a way of “preserving and transmitting the family estate from one generation to the next” (John Welch). Typically, the eldest son of the father’s first wife inherited his estate. The leadership of the family was also an important inheritance given. Faulk points out, “a father was free to choose a younger son as his successor, if he found the eldest unworthy of the office.” Sound like this fits Laman and Lemuel much? The father passed this leadership of the family on often through a special blessing (Deuteronomy 21:17), like we see in 2nd Nephi chapter 4.

    There are many examples of this spiritual or ruling leadership being given to a younger son including:

    1. Abel
    2. Seth
    3. Jacob (Israel)
    4. Ephraim
    5. David
    6. Solomon

    In each of these cases older sons were passed over as the spiritual leaders of the family.

    So, we have property inheritance and ruling inheritance. There was a third category sometimes handed down from the father: priestly duties. This is what happened with Lehi giving Jacob the priestly authority in the Book of Mormon. Another example of this was Jacob/Israel’s blessing in the Old Testament. Israel blessed Judah with the ruling authority (Genesis 49:10), Joseph of Egypt receiving a double portion through Ephraim and Manasseh (Genesis 48:22), and Levi inherited some priestly rights to the priesthood.

    As time passed in ancient Jerusalem, it became common custom for the eldest son to automatically receive a double portion of the inheritance. As noted, there were times that younger sons received different portions, or rights to rule, or increased inheritance. This was the exception, not the rule.

    This basic background information brings us to our fascinating story in the Book of Mormon. We have an eldest son, Laman, who was the eldest son of, what appears to be, a relatively well-off citizen of Jerusalem. This family leaves behind their land and property, to venture off to a promised land, a promised land Laman seldom showed faith in attaining. This family spends years in the wilderness, potentially months on a ship, and eventually land in the promised land. This elder brother is now over the moon with joy and enthusiasm. He will inherit all that his father has and be the leader and now king of a new nation.

    But what about Nephi? It was Nephi from the start that helped the family in the wilderness. It was Nephi that went back and got the plates so they could remember God and how to read and write. It was Nephi who built a ship to get them to the promised land. Nephi led the family, physically and spiritually to the promised land. He was the natural leader of the family and deserved to inherit the leadership, and kingship, of this great new nation.

    Lehi has a bit of a conundrum. How was Lehi going to handle Laman’s expectation to receive a double portion from his father? How was Lehi to handle the expectation from Laman that, as the oldest son, it was his RIGHT to inherit everything, despite his lack of leadership throughout the journey. Especially when Nephi had been declared a “ruler and a teacher” (1 Nephi 2:22, 3:29) by God Himself.

    This brings us to our blessing, and to the answer to the questions I always had.

    Lehi needed to appease Laman while attaching appropriate contingencies to his blessing. The main contingency was that Laman’s blessing would be applicable as long as he hearkened unto Nephi. This same admonition was given to Lemuel, Sam, and the sons of Ishmael. If they refused to follow Nephi, their blessings would be null and void.

    So Lehi employed three ways to diminish Laman’s blessing and role as the firstborn son. In diminishing Laman’s role Lehi enhanced Nephi’s. This leads us to the questions:

    First, why was Sam’s portion linked with Nephi’s? Why were there no Samites?

    Combining Sam’s inheritance with Nephi’s was similar to Joseph of Egypt’s blessing being doubled through his sons, Ephraim and Manasseh. Sam’s share of the land was linked to Nephi’s and therefore Nephi’s portion was doubled through Sam’s faithfulness, loyalty, and devotion he would show to Nephi as he always had.

    Welch discusses a second way Lehi diminished Laman’s blessing as found in 2 Nephi 4:5-9, “He [Lehi] blessed his firstborn’s children to the effect that their sins and cursings would be answered upon the heads of their parents. This could not have been flattering to Laman.”

    The third way Laman’s authority and blessing was reduced, Lehi referred to Jacob three times as his “firstborn…in the wilderness” and applied the priestly duties to him. By naming Jacob as another version of the “firstborn,” Lehi subtly took away from Laman’s claims as the firstborn son. As we remember, the custom in ancient Jerusalem was for Laman to receive the inheritance by default because he was the firstborn son. But, with Jacob also receiving a form of the title, “first born son,” Laman lost some claim on this exclusive title.

    Laman was warned that if he was disobedient, to God and to Nephi, that his blessing would be revoked. Lehi was, in a way, willing to give Laman the cursory “honor” of the blessing while putting many safeguards in place to keep Laman from actually ruling.

    This background context gives us additional insight into how the Nephites (followers of Nephi) and Lamanites (followers of Laman) could so quickly devolve into war and contention. The peace was kept as long as Lehi, the official patriarch, was around. Custom in Jerusalem was to love and respect the father (Exodus 20:12). But as soon as Lehi died, it was chaos. Laman was never one to heed faith or blessings, so the warnings from his now passed father were of no concern to him. He wanted to rule.

    To conclude, Alan C. Miner states, “Thus, John Welch has provided a plausible cultural background and answer as to why there were no “Samites.”  His words also give testimony to the fact that the ancient world of which Lehi and Nephi were proposed to be a part of in the pages of the Book of Mormon was a very real world.” The confusing nature of the blessing adds to the authenticity of the Book of Mormon.  Lehi’s blessing is consistent with the pattern an ancient Israelite may use in blessing his children. 

    I bear testimony that the Book of Mormon is a true historical account of families that originated in Jerusalem and eventually settled in the Americas. The more I read and study the book the more obvious it becomes. God has given us a second witness of the divinity of Jesus Christ, and I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for a book that has been tested for 200 years and still holds up. I’m grateful to know God is still invested in us and our lives. I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

  • Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

    Mosiah 3:19 Talk
    January 9, 2022
    Good morning brothers and sisters.
    I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

    The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

    For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

    “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

    When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

    Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
    Conqueror”:
    “Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

    Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

    This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
    conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
    criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
    creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

    Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

    “[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

    “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
    Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

    “As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

    Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

    HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

    We can actively seek this positive change…

    In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

    “Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
    ‘Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
    . . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

    Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

    Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

    Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

    Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

    When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

    This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

    However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

    However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

    I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

    I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • We’re Being Watched

    We’re Being Watched

    Beth just said something that gave me the heebie-jeebies, even though it’s something we already know, and unfortunately, are starting to accept.

    Beth said, “You know what I just realized?  Whenever we watch YouTube TV kids shows, all of the ads are super girly stuff.  They totally know we have a daughter.”

    They.

    Remember in the good old days when we would have conversations about skiing and then ski gear would show up as an ad on our phone/computer/device?  Do you remember when we transitioned from “wow that’s really weird…” to “are they listening to me?…” to “oh they’re listening good.”

    That last part came after it became public knowledge that our mics and search history and everything about us was being turned into marketing and advertisement data. 

    This will be a short post.  Re-read the end of The Social Dilemma where i discuss how to protect our families from becoming too attached to our devices. Also re-read The Social Dilemma part 2 and consider what we can do to protect ourselves and our families from advertisers. Be wary of what is happening to our children.  They are growing up in a world where MY TV knows I have a girl and is targeting her before she can even walk.  If that doesn’t scare you, at least a little bit, it should.

    Be cautious about what we expose our kids to.  Be cautious about what we post and share.  Protect them. 

    I know in this world it’s impossible for “them” to not know I have a daughter by now.  I know there’s only so much we can do.  But what I can try to control is how she is influenced by their advances.  I will do my best for my whole life to protect Ivy against targeted advertising and the influences of the media on her growing mind.