No Coincidences

Tag: Books

  • Dreams and Temptations

    Dreams and Temptations

    I’ve long been fascinated by dreams. For the last six years I’ve written down every night-time dream I can remember in the morning. They are in multiple notes in my phone and at this point make up tens of thousands of words. Dreams have even turned into some blog posts.

    Through writing down so many of my dreams, I’ve been able to clearly see the themes that repeat themselves.

    What feels like many years ago now, even though it’s only been seven, I cold turkey’d a lot of bad and immoral habits. These things that used to weigh me down mercilessly have stayed consistently in my dreams ever since.

    I was pondering on why this was recently. Why is it that nearly, I don’t know, 15-20% of my dreams, if I had to guess, have the theme of drinking alcohol and regretting it in them?

    As with all things, I believe there are no coincidences with God. God wouldn’t give us this powerful memory/experience in our minds at night if there wasn’t some purpose. Of course, I believe that God can speak to us in dreams. I believe He has before to me. For me personally, through this introspective exercise, I came to appreciate the powerful effect dreams have had on me.

    In the book The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, I read,

    “What is temptation?… It is the energy through which your soul is given the gracious opportunity to have a dry run at a life lesson, at a situation that, if you can see clearly, can be removed and healed within the confines of your private world of energy and not spill into a larger energy field of other souls. Temptation is a dress rehearsal for a karmic experience of negativity.

    “The entire dynamic of temptation is the compassionate way of allowing you to see your potential pitfalls, and cleanse yourself before you can affect the lives of others… As you respond to the decoy, you cleanse yourself by becoming aware and not having to actually live through the experience.”

    This perfectly describes how I’ve come to feel about my dreams. They are dry runs.

    The most common temptation theme in my dreams is drinking alcohol. There are many dreams I have of either trying to avoid drinking alcohol or actually giving in. I haven’t experienced a hangover in a long time. After one of these dreams, while I don’t feel the ill physical effects I would if I actually drank, I do feel the guilt of having given into temptation.

    When I wake up from one of these dreams, I can feel how I’d feel if I gave in. I wake up feeling how disappointed in myself I am. I wake up thinking, “Seven years, seven years of not touching it and now I’m basically starting over.” I wake up feeling that real feeling of guilt. There is power in this, I’ve learned. I haven’t come head on with this temptation in years. Meaning, I haven’t seriously considered drinking alcohol in a long, long time. I haven’t been in a bar, no one has offered me a drink. But, because of these dreams, I can know how I would feel if I did give in, and I can know I don’t want to feel that. I can remember, because of these dreams, that a night of drinking would not be worth the disappointment in the morning. And that’s to say nothing of the hangover!

    This is not the only temptation I face in dreams. There are others. Because of these dreams, I can know with surety there are things I don’t want to do. If there is any doubt or weak part of my soul that considers doing something terrible, I have the dreams to remind me how terrible some of those actions are and the guilt I don’t want to feel.

    Pretty amazing, really. What a protection these dreams have become to me. As Gary Zukav said in his book, “How exquisite is temptation.”

    I wonder if others have had this sort of experience with their dreams? I wonder if this is unique to me. Maybe it’s some divine protection God has given me. If that’s the case, I’m so grateful for this protection.

  • The Eyes of God

    The Eyes of God

    I don’t think anything makes me feel closer to God than staring into the eyes of my babies. I’ve written about it before HERE. I don’t remember this specifically with Ivy, though I’m sure it happened. But with Sage I’ve stared into her eyes and it’s the most outstanding, humbling feeling.

    What did I do to deserve this gift?

    As I hold Sage and she begins to drift off into sleep, while comfortably in my arms, I wonder what I did to deserve so much trust. She is so comfortable in my arms, so content, so peaceful, so trusting. Why does she trust me? What did I do to earn that trust?

    Nothing.

    Or maybe everything.

    I don’t know how Sage, Ivy, and I interacted before coming here. Before coming to earth were we best friends, running around, shooting hoops, reading books, taking walks? Maybe I did earn that trust.

    What did I do to earn the trust of God, to send His daughters to me?

    As I stare into Sage’s eyes, I see the eyes of God.

    She is His daughter. She is of His lineage. She is a princess, not of me, but of Him. And as I stare into her eyes, I think that’s the overwhelming, outstanding, humbling feeling I get, that I described above. It’s looking into the eyes of God.

  • Books in 2021

    Books in 2021

    This is a list of every book I read in 2021 and the order I ranked them in from favorite to least favorite.  I get something out of every book I read.  I learned long ago that if I allow myself to not finish one book, I won’t finish any.  For those reasons, when I start a book, I’m committed to finishing it.  I don’t care how dry or boring it may be.

    It’s difficult to rank such a wide variety of books. I don’t overthink it too much. This is mostly a list of most enjoyable and most rewarding reads. That said, every book offers something, even if it might just be a laugh.

    I included a one sentence thought about each book.  This proved difficult because I could say so much about every book.  To get around the one sentence rule, I used many commas and run-on sentences. My list, my rules. I find it amusing posting a list of of books read in such an illiterate fashion.

    I enjoyed all these books because they each taught me something. That’s the great thing about books. 

    * Represents a book I recommended or gave to someone to read.

    Here’s my list:

    1. Dune*
      • The movie and book did not disappoint, what a fantastic world created by Frank Herbert.
    2. Stories of your Life and Others*
      • This is a book of short stories, one of which inspired the movie Arrival, the “Arrival” short story, actually called “Story of Your Life,” wasn’t even one of my favorite short stories, I ranked it 6th out of the 8 short stories, I can’t say enough about how phenomenal this book was, looking over it again makes me want to read it right now. 
    3. Unlimited Power*
      • This was a difficult read due to all the exercises and activities done throughout but has resulted in multiple beneficial changes to my daily life so needs to be near the top.
    4. Out of the Best Books Volume 1
      • I never expected to love this book so much, it’s a collection of classic short stories and poems, I learned I’m not huge on poems but highly recommend this for the short stories.
    5. The Eternal Man
      • Second or third reading of this book, love this book, the truths in it speak to my eternal soul every time.
    6. A Boy’s Story a Man’s Memory
      • I met Oscar at a church activity where he spoke about his book, the man emanated love and humility, his story is extraordinary and had me in tears more often than I’ll admit.
    7. Edgar Cayce Mystery Man of Miracles
      • Reading about this man’s fascinating life opens the eyes to the gifts God has potentially given some of His children here on earth.
    8. The Time Machine and the Invisible Man
      • These two classics were in one book so I’m putting them together, I think I preferred the Invisible Man for the roller coaster of where that story went, both great stories.
    9. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner
      • Make fun of me all you want, Stephanie Meyer is an amazing author and I enjoyed this book enough for it to be in my top ten for the year. 
    10. The Tommyknockers*
      • This book proved to be too long for CJ Matthews, classic Stephen King, super long, I read three quarters of this a long time ago but never finished it, the ending made it worth re-reading. 
    11. Whispers
      • Classic Dean Koontz, this was my second time reading this, there’s a reason it’s right next to a Stephen King book, Koontz and King are so similar and yet so different. 
    12. The Locket
      • This book is the perfect example of how expectations set the tone for a book, I had zero expectations for this book, and ended up liking it a lot.
    13. The Outsiders
      • Much better than Catcher in the Rye in my opinion, the movie was pretty good too. 
    14. Robinson Crusoe
      • This was a youth version so it was a condensed and quick version of the story, but I really loved it.
    15. Return from Tomorrow (just because I read it twice)
      • I love this book but it’s the second time I’ve read it recently, so it dropped a little (from #11 on last year’s list). 
    16. Those Gold Plates!
      • This is a defense of the Book of Mormon, it discusses other records that were kept on metal plates anciently that have only recently been found (book written 1979), and provides information that would have been impossible for Joseph Smith to know in the 1800s yet were somehow in the Book of Mormon, this was another book that strengthened my testimony of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith.            
    17. The Little Mermaid and other Fairy Tales
      • Clearly there’s something about reading some good old fashioned classic books that is good for the soul (see #4 and #14).
    18. Embrace Fatherhood
      • This was written by a friend and gave a unique perspective on fatherhood that I enjoyed reading.
    19. Mexican Gothic
      • I’m still not sure exactly how I feel about this book, it was entertaining, but not super entertaining, it was a page turner, it wasn’t a super page turner, but it was one of the more unique books I read this year.
    20. Lighten Up
      • Here starts the group of nonfiction books, nonfiction is great for learning and growth but I think most would agree fiction is more enjoyable, thus their position on my list, anyways, I really liked this book and I think it was one I needed to read at the time I read it.
    21. Spencer W. Kimball
      • Spencer W. Kimball and Howard W. Hunter meld a bit in my mind, I love Spencer W. Kimball for his missionary focus during his time as our prophet.
    22. Howard W. Hunter
      • I love reading about the lives of these most faithful men.
    23. The Mis-Education of the Negro
      • This was given to me by CJ and it taught me a lot about the history of education (and mis-education) for black people in America. 
    24. Moses Man of Miracles
      • Speaking about learning of great, faithful men (See #21 and #22), these are a series of books, with other books of great prophets, really enjoyed this book from Mark E. Petersen about Moses. 
    25. The Coming of the Lord
      • A book written by Gerald N. Lund in 1971, I don’t remember much of the details of this book, but it was all about the signs of the Second Coming of Christ.
    26. Essentials in Church History
      • This was DENSE, but this 685 page (yes you read that right) book taught me a lot about the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.   
    27. Pearl of Great Price Commentary
      • This was a deep and dense commentary on what I feel is one of our more underrated books of scripture, the Pearl of Great Price.
    28. A Bride goes West
      • A fictional book detailing the life of a woman helping to pioneer the west. 
    29. By Love and Grace
      • I could not remember this book at all until I pulled it off the book shelf, that normally would give it huge deduction points in my list, but once I saw the book and opened the front cover, memories of this book washed over me, so I had to move it up the list, a book about a man who finds love and faith, gets falsely accused of murder, it was actually a super awesome book.
    30. Catcher in the Rye
      • Kind of terrifies me that our high school students are reading this book of debauchery.
    31. Dakota Diaspora
      • I may have to read this again as I don’t remember much about it, but reading the back cover reminds me what a fascinating story it was, a woman tells the story of her Jewish parents who left Russia to settle in North Dakoda in the 1800s, really interesting story and a way of life I can’t even imagine. 
    32. Temple Worship
      • When you read temple books in succession, they kind of meld together, this is the case with this book and next on the list, House of Glory, Temple Worship was written by Andrew C. Skinner in 2007, it’s a little deeper than House of Glory and had pictures!
    33. House of Glory
      • Compared to Temple Worship this book was more temporal information on temples if I remember right, it was written by S. Michael Wilcox in 1995.
    34. How to Pray and not Fall Asleep
      • This was literally a how-to book on praying better.
    35. An Epistle from the New Testament Apostles
      • This was a cool concept, it put all the epistles from the New Testament into thematic categories as if they were a single letter. 
    36. This Word of Wisdom
      • This tiny book was written in 1958 and was all about the Word of Wisdom.
    37. America’s Wonderlands
      • This was a coffee table book with pictures and information about America’s national parks. 
    38. Articles of Faith Volume 1
      • This is another coffee table book, a big, beautifully illustrated book about the articles of faith, part 1 of 3 I believe.
    39. Studies in Scripture Volume 3 the Old Testament
      • You know when a book is so good for you but man is it dense and difficult to read, yeah, commentary on Genesis through 2 Samuel falls into that category.
    40. The Seat of the Soul
      • Dude, this book was wild, I quickly went from “wow I’m really getting a lot out of this” to abruptly thinking, “what the heck, we’re talking about dolphin souls,” this book was a wild ride, and fun fact, it appeared my grandma had the same experience because right as my marking of the book started to greatly decrease so did hers, and I don’t think she ended up finishing this book, which is understandable with the out there direction it headed. 
    41. The Church and the Negro
      • Here enters my flawed books, this book had some outdated and inappropriate information.
    42. I was a Born Again Mormon
      • I don’t want to be too disparaging of a book, so I won’t say much about this, let’s just say I disagreed with a lot.
    43. Deal Me In
      • Old book I’ve had for a long time and read before, biographies of professional poker players in the early 2000s.
    44. No Limit Hold em Theory and Practice
      • Dusted off one of my old poker books to explore some strategic game theory ways of thinking.
    45. Passport to Survival
      • This is so low due to the dry nature of the content, not due to lack of good content, this book had all sorts of recipes and ways to extend food storage and survive in an emergency. 

    Additional reading:

    1. To Young Men Only – old church pamphlet.
    2. Book of Mormon
      • Checking back on time stamps of my notes tells me I read 2 Nephi 6-Mosiah 2. I’m reading the book of Mormon alongside a cultural commentary and adding notes throughout.
    3. Doctrine & Covenants
      • Read from Section 100 to 133 alongside two student manuals to add comments and additional information throughout.
    4. Finished Old Testament
      • Ezekiel-Malachi alongside Enduring Word Bible commentary to add notes throughout.
    5. Come Follow Me lesson each week
    6. Started the New Testament
      • Started in Matthew chapter 1 and reading alongside New Testament Student Manual.

    Bonus footage for getting this far

  • The Mourning Dove

    The Mourning Dove

    The Mourning Dove was one of my favorite books of 2020.  It’s the first book I made Beth read.  I read it in 2 days which isn’t much to brag about at only 84 pages.

    The inside cover reads:

    “A tender story of growing up, exploring life, exploring life, and discovering the boundaries and the defining moments of love.”

    The back cover reads:

    “The Mourning Dove is heart touching. It penetrates your soul and makes you glad to be alive.”

    -Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul

    This story is so good, so uplifting, so all the good things.  I will put it at the top of books I would recommend to someone.  It’s especially easy to recommend because it’s such a quick and easy read.  I know people are increasingly busy and it’s hard to find time to sit down and read a long book.  This book is short and sweet.  You will finish it feeling like you’ve grown immensely after spending time with Pop, the main character’s grandpa.

    After finishing the book, I wanted to write a screenplay.  This book would make such a good movie.  The message in it is simple. The story of a young boy learning adult lessons is timeless.

    I had no idea Larry Barkdull wrote another book I loved titled Zion: Seeking the City of Enoch.  Mr. Barkdull has an easy-going writing style that I enjoy because it’s not so difficult to follow.  His stories flow and are combined with good messages.  I’ve walked away from both his books feeling like I’ve learned something about life and myself.

    I can’t say enough good things about this book.  It can be found online for like a dollar.  Buy it.  You won’t regret it.

    Sadly, while looking up information about this book I learned that Larry Barkdull passed away in 2016.  I’d like to share this from his obituary:

    Many will remember him as their gospel doctrine teacher, home teacher and friend, as he tended to the needs of those he loved. Larry also served weekly in the temple as an ordinance worker, a calling he cherished. Above all else, Larry’s greatest joy was his family. The only title he wished to follow his name was D.A.D. He left his family a legacy of great faith and leaves a hole that can never be filled. Words cannot express the least of what we feel. We love you. Our hearts are broken, but we know we will be together again.”

    I don’t know how you can read that without a tear coming to your eye.  Mr. Barkdull was clearly an inspired and important individual sent for an important purpose in God’s plan.  I’m grateful I got to see a glimpse into his soul through his writing. 

  • Satan’s Story Continued: What I learned from the Qur’an

    Satan’s Story Continued: What I learned from the Qur’an

    In Satan’s Story, I explored the origins of Satan before we came to earth.  This was back when we knew Satan, in the premortal existence.  This was when he was attempting to (mis)lead us.  It was an interesting revelation for me to learn what led to Satan’s revolt.

    If you haven’t read that post, you can click the link (Satan’s Story) above to read it.  It’s not required to understand this post.

    In this post I’d like to explore a little more about the Father of all Lies (John 8:44).

    I’d like to give the same sort of disclaimer I gave in the first post.  My interest in studying Satan is to further my testimony of One person.  That is Jesus Christ.  By studying Satan, I am studying the exact opposite of all that Jesus Christ is.  By studying Satan, I hope to understand him better only to avoid the same traps he is laying today that he laid in the premortal existence.  Those traps led to 1/3 of our brothers and sisters coming out in full rebellion to the light and love that created us.

    First, an update.  After I finished writing and had posted Satan’s Story (part 1), I started a book called Islam by John Alden Williams.  This book contains a quick historical overview of the beginning, development, growth, laws, and customs of Islam. 

    The book started with reviewing portions of the Qur’an (Koran? Quaran?).  While reading, I came across some interesting text about Satan. 

    I’ve found there are many translations of the Qur’an, similar to our modern day Bible. This was the text provided in the book (my own emphasis and commentary in parentheses added):

    “We created you, then we shaped you,

    then we said to the angels: ‘Bow yourselves

    to Adam’; so they bowed themselves,

    save Iblis (Iblis = Satan)-he was not of those

    that bowed themselves.

    Said He (God), ‘What prevented thee to

    Bow thyself, when I commanded thee?’

    Said he (Satan), ‘I am better than he; Thou

    createdst me of fire, and him Thou

    Createdst of clay.’ (God created Adam out of clay)

    Said He (God), ‘Get thee down out of it;

    It is not for thee to wax proud here,

    So go forth; surely thou art

    Among the humbled.’

    It goes on to provide other interesting details about Satan being cast out of heaven.  I find it interesting that so many of the world’s religions and especially the many sects of Christianity have such unique views on Satan’s story.  I think the mythology and legend of Satan in all cultures goes to show the significance of Satan on all of us here. 

    Another noteworthy item from the above, notice the first two lines. We created you. We said to the angels. Who are we? If it is only God, why is he referring to we? Joseph Smith taught and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints theology teaches us that we is referring to Jesus Christ and God.

    That portion of Satan speaking in the Qur‘an I found to add somewhat to the idea that Satan ultimately revolted because he was jealous of Adam and prideful, feeling he deserved the honor that Adam received. We see that pride is the great detriment to all souls. Pride took Satan from “an angel of God who was in authority in the presence of God” to one called Perdition, who fell, who the heavens wept over. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:25-27)

    The book goes on to say that Adam inherited the earth with his wife.  While there “Satan whispered to them…And he swore to them, Truly, I am for you a sincere adviser.”

    So, we see that Satan was a liar and has always been a liar, “from the beginning” (D&C 93:25, John 8:44).