I don’t think anything makes me feel closer to God than staring into the eyes of my babies. I’ve written about it before HERE. I don’t remember this specifically with Ivy, though I’m sure it happened. But with Sage I’ve stared into her eyes and it’s the most outstanding, humbling feeling.
What did I do to deserve this gift?
As I hold Sage and she begins to drift off into sleep, while comfortably in my arms, I wonder what I did to deserve so much trust. She is so comfortable in my arms, so content, so peaceful, so trusting. Why does she trust me? What did I do to earn that trust?
Nothing.
Or maybe everything.
I don’t know how Sage, Ivy, and I interacted before coming here. Before coming to earth were we best friends, running around, shooting hoops, reading books, taking walks? Maybe I did earn that trust.
What did I do to earn the trust of God, to send His daughters to me?
As I stare into Sage’s eyes, I see the eyes of God.
She is His daughter. She is of His lineage. She is a princess, not of me, but of Him. And as I stare into her eyes, I think that’s the overwhelming, outstanding, humbling feeling I get, that I described above. It’s looking into the eyes of God.
This is a list of every book I read in 2021 and the order I ranked them in from favorite to least favorite. I get something out of every book I read. I learned long ago that if I allow myself to not finish one book, I won’t finish any. For those reasons, when I start a book, I’m committed to finishing it. I don’t care how dry or boring it may be.
It’s difficult to rank such a wide variety of books. I don’t overthink it too much. This is mostly a list of most enjoyable and most rewarding reads. That said, every book offers something, even if it might just be a laugh.
I included a one sentence thought about each book. This proved difficult because I could say so much about every book. To get around the one sentence rule, I used many commas and run-on sentences. My list, my rules. I find it amusing posting a list of of books read in such an illiterate fashion.
I enjoyed all these books because they each taught me something. That’s the great thing about books.
* Represents a book I recommended or gave to someone to read.
Here’s my list:
Dune*
The movie and book did not disappoint, what a fantastic world created by Frank Herbert.
Stories of your Life and Others*
This is a book of short stories, one of which inspired the movie Arrival, the “Arrival” short story, actually called “Story of Your Life,” wasn’t even one of my favorite short stories, I ranked it 6th out of the 8 short stories, I can’t say enough about how phenomenal this book was, looking over it again makes me want to read it right now.
Unlimited Power*
This was a difficult read due to all the exercises and activities done throughout but has resulted in multiple beneficial changes to my daily life so needs to be near the top.
Out of the Best Books Volume 1
I never expected to love this book so much, it’s a collection of classic short stories and poems, I learned I’m not huge on poems but highly recommend this for the short stories.
The Eternal Man
Second or third reading of this book, love this book, the truths in it speak to my eternal soul every time.
A Boy’s Story a Man’s Memory
I met Oscar at a church activity where he spoke about his book, the man emanated love and humility, his story is extraordinary and had me in tears more often than I’ll admit.
Edgar Cayce Mystery Man of Miracles
Reading about this man’s fascinating life opens the eyes to the gifts God has potentially given some of His children here on earth.
The Time Machine and the Invisible Man
These two classics were in one book so I’m putting them together, I think I preferred the Invisible Man for the roller coaster of where that story went, both great stories.
The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner
Make fun of me all you want, Stephanie Meyer is an amazing author and I enjoyed this book enough for it to be in my top ten for the year.
The Tommyknockers*
This book proved to be too long for CJ Matthews, classic Stephen King, super long, I read three quarters of this a long time ago but never finished it, the ending made it worth re-reading.
Whispers
Classic Dean Koontz, this was my second time reading this, there’s a reason it’s right next to a Stephen King book, Koontz and King are so similar and yet so different.
The Locket
This book is the perfect example of how expectations set the tone for a book, I had zero expectations for this book, and ended up liking it a lot.
The Outsiders
Much better than Catcher in the Rye in my opinion, the movie was pretty good too.
Robinson Crusoe
This was a youth version so it was a condensed and quick version of the story, but I really loved it.
Return from Tomorrow (just because I read it twice)
I love this book but it’s the second time I’ve read it recently, so it dropped a little (from #11 on last year’s list).
Those Gold Plates!
This is a defense of the Book of Mormon, it discusses other records that were kept on metal plates anciently that have only recently been found (book written 1979), and provides information that would have been impossible for Joseph Smith to know in the 1800s yet were somehow in the Book of Mormon, this was another book that strengthened my testimony of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith.
The Little Mermaid and other Fairy Tales
Clearly there’s something about reading some good old fashioned classic books that is good for the soul (see #4 and #14).
Embrace Fatherhood
This was written by a friend and gave a unique perspective on fatherhood that I enjoyed reading.
Mexican Gothic
I’m still not sure exactly how I feel about this book, it was entertaining, but not super entertaining, it was a page turner, it wasn’t a super page turner, but it was one of the more unique books I read this year.
Lighten Up
Here starts the group of nonfiction books, nonfiction is great for learning and growth but I think most would agree fiction is more enjoyable, thus their position on my list, anyways, I really liked this book and I think it was one I needed to read at the time I read it.
Spencer W. Kimball
Spencer W. Kimball and Howard W. Hunter meld a bit in my mind, I love Spencer W. Kimball for his missionary focus during his time as our prophet.
Howard W. Hunter
I love reading about the lives of these most faithful men.
The Mis-Education of the Negro
This was given to me by CJ and it taught me a lot about the history of education (and mis-education) for black people in America.
Moses Man of Miracles
Speaking about learning of great, faithful men (See #21 and #22), these are a series of books, with other books of great prophets, really enjoyed this book from Mark E. Petersen about Moses.
The Coming of the Lord
A book written by Gerald N. Lund in 1971, I don’t remember much of the details of this book, but it was all about the signs of the Second Coming of Christ.
Essentials in Church History
This was DENSE, but this 685 page (yes you read that right) book taught me a lot about the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Pearl of Great Price Commentary
This was a deep and dense commentary on what I feel is one of our more underrated books of scripture, the Pearl of Great Price.
A Bride goes West
A fictional book detailing the life of a woman helping to pioneer the west.
By Love and Grace
I could not remember this book at all until I pulled it off the book shelf, that normally would give it huge deduction points in my list, but once I saw the book and opened the front cover, memories of this book washed over me, so I had to move it up the list, a book about a man who finds love and faith, gets falsely accused of murder, it was actually a super awesome book.
Catcher in the Rye
Kind of terrifies me that our high school students are reading this book of debauchery.
Dakota Diaspora
I may have to read this again as I don’t remember much about it, but reading the back cover reminds me what a fascinating story it was, a woman tells the story of her Jewish parents who left Russia to settle in North Dakoda in the 1800s, really interesting story and a way of life I can’t even imagine.
Temple Worship
When you read temple books in succession, they kind of meld together, this is the case with this book and next on the list, House of Glory, Temple Worship was written by Andrew C. Skinner in 2007, it’s a little deeper than House of Glory and had pictures!
House of Glory
Compared to Temple Worship this book was more temporal information on temples if I remember right, it was written by S. Michael Wilcox in 1995.
How to Pray and not Fall Asleep
This was literally a how-to book on praying better.
An Epistle from the New Testament Apostles
This was a cool concept, it put all the epistles from the New Testament into thematic categories as if they were a single letter.
This Word of Wisdom
This tiny book was written in 1958 and was all about the Word of Wisdom.
America’s Wonderlands
This was a coffee table book with pictures and information about America’s national parks.
Articles of Faith Volume 1
This is another coffee table book, a big, beautifully illustrated book about the articles of faith, part 1 of 3 I believe.
Studies in Scripture Volume 3 the Old Testament
You know when a book is so good for you but man is it dense and difficult to read, yeah, commentary on Genesis through 2 Samuel falls into that category.
The Seat of the Soul
Dude, this book was wild, I quickly went from “wow I’m really getting a lot out of this” to abruptly thinking, “what the heck, we’re talking about dolphin souls,” this book was a wild ride, and fun fact, it appeared my grandma had the same experience because right as my marking of the book started to greatly decrease so did hers, and I don’t think she ended up finishing this book, which is understandable with the out there direction it headed.
The Church and the Negro
Here enters my flawed books, this book had some outdated and inappropriate information.
I was a Born Again Mormon
I don’t want to be too disparaging of a book, so I won’t say much about this, let’s just say I disagreed with a lot.
Deal Me In
Old book I’ve had for a long time and read before, biographies of professional poker players in the early 2000s.
No Limit Hold em Theory and Practice
Dusted off one of my old poker books to explore some strategic game theory ways of thinking.
Passport to Survival
This is so low due to the dry nature of the content, not due to lack of good content, this book had all sorts of recipes and ways to extend food storage and survive in an emergency.
Additional reading:
To Young Men Only – old church pamphlet.
Book of Mormon
Checking back on time stamps of my notes tells me I read 2 Nephi 6-Mosiah 2. I’m reading the book of Mormon alongside a cultural commentary and adding notes throughout.
Doctrine & Covenants
Read from Section 100 to 133 alongside two student manuals to add comments and additional information throughout.
Finished Old Testament
Ezekiel-Malachi alongside Enduring Word Bible commentary to add notes throughout.
Come Follow Me lesson each week
Started the New Testament
Started in Matthew chapter 1 and reading alongside New Testament Student Manual.
The Mourning Dove was one of my favorite books of 2020. It’s the first book I made Beth read. I read it in 2 days which isn’t much to brag about at only 84 pages.
The inside cover reads:
“A tender story of growing up, exploring life, exploring life, and discovering the boundaries and the defining moments of love.”
The back cover reads:
“The Mourning Dove is heart touching. It penetrates your soul and makes you glad to be alive.”
-Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul
This story is so good, so uplifting, so all the good things. I will put it at the top of books I would recommend to someone. It’s especially easy to recommend because it’s such a quick and easy read. I know people are increasingly busy and it’s hard to find time to sit down and read a long book. This book is short and sweet. You will finish it feeling like you’ve grown immensely after spending time with Pop, the main character’s grandpa.
After finishing the book, I wanted to write a screenplay. This book would make such a good movie. The message in it is simple. The story of a young boy learning adult lessons is timeless.
I had no idea Larry Barkdull wrote another book I loved titled Zion: Seeking the City of Enoch. Mr. Barkdull has an easy-going writing style that I enjoy because it’s not so difficult to follow. His stories flow and are combined with good messages. I’ve walked away from both his books feeling like I’ve learned something about life and myself.
I can’t say enough good things about this book. It can be found online for like a dollar. Buy it. You won’t regret it.
Sadly, while looking up information about this book I learned that Larry Barkdull passed away in 2016. I’d like to share this from his obituary:
Many will remember him as their gospel doctrine teacher, home teacher and friend, as he tended to the needs of those he loved. Larry also served weekly in the temple as an ordinance worker, a calling he cherished. Above all else, Larry’s greatest joy was his family. The only title he wished to follow his name was D.A.D. He left his family a legacy of great faith and leaves a hole that can never be filled. Words cannot express the least of what we feel. We love you. Our hearts are broken, but we know we will be together again.”
I don’t know how you can read that without a tear coming to your eye. Mr. Barkdull was clearly an inspired and important individual sent for an important purpose in God’s plan. I’m grateful I got to see a glimpse into his soul through his writing.
In Satan’s Story, I explored the origins of Satan before we came to earth. This was back when we knew Satan, in the premortal existence. This was when he was attempting to (mis)lead us. It was an interesting revelation for me to learn what led to Satan’s revolt.
If you haven’t read that post, you can click the link (Satan’s Story) above to read it. It’s not required to understand this post.
In this post I’d like to explore a little more about the Father of all Lies (John 8:44).
I’d like to give the same sort of disclaimer I gave in the first post. My interest in studying Satan is to further my testimony of One person. That is Jesus Christ. By studying Satan, I am studying the exact opposite of all that Jesus Christ is. By studying Satan, I hope to understand him better only to avoid the same traps he is laying today that he laid in the premortal existence. Those traps led to 1/3 of our brothers and sisters coming out in full rebellion to the light and love that created us.
First, an update. After I finished writing and had posted Satan’s Story (part 1), I started a book called Islam by John Alden Williams. This book contains a quick historical overview of the beginning, development, growth, laws, and customs of Islam.
The book started with reviewing portions of the Qur’an (Koran? Quaran?). While reading, I came across some interesting text about Satan.
I’ve found there are many translations of the Qur’an, similar to our modern day Bible. This was the text provided in the book (my own emphasis and commentary in parentheses added):
“We created you, then we shaped you,
then we said to the angels: ‘Bow yourselves
to Adam’; so they bowed themselves,
save Iblis (Iblis = Satan)-he was not of those
that bowed themselves.
Said He (God), ‘What prevented thee to
Bow thyself, when I commanded thee?’
Said he (Satan), ‘I am better than he; Thou
createdst me of fire, and him Thou
Createdst of clay.’ (God created Adam out of clay)
Said He (God), ‘Get thee down out of it;
It is not for thee to wax proud here,
So go forth; surely thou art
Among the humbled.’
It goes on to provide other interesting details about Satan being cast out of heaven. I find it interesting that so many of the world’s religions and especially the many sects of Christianity have such unique views on Satan’s story. I think the mythology and legend of Satan in all cultures goes to show the significance of Satan on all of us here.
Another noteworthy item from the above, notice the first two lines. We created you. We said to the angels. Who are we? If it is only God, why is he referring to we? Joseph Smith taught and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints theology teaches us that we is referring to Jesus Christ and God.
That portion of Satan speaking in the Qur‘an I found to add somewhat to the idea that Satan ultimately revolted because he was jealous of Adam and prideful, feeling he deserved the honor that Adam received. We see that pride is the great detriment to all souls. Pride took Satan from “an angel of God who was in authority in the presence of God” to one called Perdition, who fell, who the heavens wept over. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:25-27)
The book goes on to say that Adam inherited the earth with his wife. While there “Satan whispered to them…And he swore to them, Truly, I am for you a sincere adviser.”
So, we see that Satan was a liar and has always been a liar, “from the beginning” (D&C 93:25, John 8:44).
“We need to wait for a helicopter. It’s 2 hours by road to the nearest hospital. You might have internal bleeding in your brain. You might die before we could get you there.”
I was in the back of an ambulance for the first time. It’s an interesting thing to wonder if you’re being melodramatic about dying and then being told by an EMT that you might die. It becomes a real possibility, if it wasn’t already.
My family rented ATVs over the weekend. We rented a cabin and stayed in Duck Creek, near Cedar City, Utah. We had the ATVs for four hours. My family went out first while Beth and I stayed at the cabin with Ivy. Then Beth and I swapped in for my mom and sister.
There were nine of us total and three ATVs. Two of the ATVs held four people and one of them held two. When Beth and I swapped in I drove with Beth in the front seat, my dad and brother in the back seat. We drove to Mammoth caves and explored. After 30 or so minutes looking at the caves, we went back to the ATVs to off road for our last 90 minutes before the ATVs had to be returned.
Moments before the accident
Beth hadn’t driven so we made her drive. My brother Garrick and his girlfriend Arielle rode in the back. We reminded Beth that if you’re not flipping the ATV you’re not trying. My uncle Jon led in the two-seater and my brother Dresdan drove the other four-seater behind them. We took up the rear so Beth could go at her own pace and not feel the pressure of Dresdan bearing down on her.
I had one glove off because I was eating airheads from my pocket. Beth was driving as cautiously as expected and the other two vehicles got ahead of us. I had a thought cross my mind: ‘I bet it would be safer to have no seatbelt on. It would probably be safer to be thrown out of this thing than stuck and crushed inside of it.’ I did have my seatbelt on. That thought I had was undoubtedly wrong.
I’ll describe what I remember next. Then I’ll tell the whole story from the perspective of those who stayed conscious throughout.
We were coming up on a turn. We were not going that fast. I had driven with much more reckless abandon when I was behind the wheel. We came up on this turn and Beth began to break and then we started to tip.
The next thing I remember was feeling pinned down and stuck. I couldn’t see anything. But I was stuck. My arm couldn’t move. I believe I started yelling.
The next thing I remember was the feeling of flipping over.
I still couldn’t see anything.
The next thing I remember was hearing crying and screaming from Beth. I told her I was going to be ok. It was going to be ok. I still couldn’t see anything.
The next thing I remember was moving. Jon was in the driver’s seat next to me. Someone was behind me holding something down firmly on my head.
It is fascinating how the brain works in moments of trauma. How was I thinking so clearly?
I asked if an ambulance was called and was told yes. It occurred to me, we drove way out into these trails. We were at least 30 minutes from anything. I asked who was behind me. Dresdan. It crossed my mind: the firmer whatever is on my head is being pressed down, the more likely I am to survive. I asked Dresdan to push down harder. He did, and it hurt. I asked him to push down less hard. I put my hand up and held it myself and asked Dresdan to support on top of my hand. I felt him start checking my neck and spine with his other hand. I put my right, gloved hand out the window and started flexing my fingers. I was tapping my legs repeatedly. I was acutely aware of the importance of staying awake.
I was staring through the windshield and thought I saw a crack. I stared harder and realized there was no crack, my vision was getting blurry. I was so tired. I told Jon and Dresdan that my vision was getting blurry and I was very tired. I told Dresdan to talk to me. He said something to me, and I can’t remember what it was. It wasn’t a conversation starter. I put my hand on Jon’s leg and squeezed. He put his hand on mine and held it. I asked Dresdan about the book I’d given him to read. He told me it was good and that I’d really like the one he gave me for Christmas. I talked about the book he had just read briefly, then got quiet. I was awake enough.
I asked Dresdan to give me a blessing. It was too loud. He would have to yell it. The talking I’d already done had made my head throb. I asked him to quietly give me a priesthood blessing.
I’ve always wondered how I would react at the prospect of death. It’s easy to say you don’t fear dying but what about when you actually might die?
I’ve always hoped there would be no fear, just faith.
On a destroyed ATV, soaked in my own blood, I learned the answer. I wasn’t afraid to die. While I wasn’t afraid to die something kept coming to my mind on repeat. My daughter is 6 weeks old. I want to see her again. Beth was driving, she can’t live with this guilt. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, I need to see her again. I love Beth so much and can’t have her live with this pain. I want to see my daughter again. I love my wife.
Beth’s cries in that moment of blackness were in my mind. I could hear her grief. Could she live with this? I might die. Probably not. I was conscious. I was awake. Dresdan was keeping pressure on the wound. I would be fine.
But what if I wasn’t?
In that moment I confirmed what I’d always known. The two most important things in this world are God and family. In that moment I prayed relentlessly. I believe the blessing and my prayers kept me awake. What else mattered in that moment but God and my family?
Nothing.
I wanted to see my mom again, I wanted to see my dad again, I wanted to see my brothers and sisters. More than anything I wanted to see Ivy again. It hit me, maybe I wouldn’t. I realized, just in case, I should say something that needed to be said. I told Jon he had to tell Beth that I was ok, and it wasn’t her fault. It was an accident.
We came to a crossroads in the trail. I remembered where we had come from and told Jon. Adie and Jared drove up in the two-seater and told Jon to follow them to the main road.
We got out to a main street and started driving. We came to an intersection and there was the ambulance. We pulled into a dirt lot. I was surrounded by people I didn’t know. I was asked a lot of questions. They cut my clothes off of me and told me not to move my neck if I could help it. I was able to get my seatbelt off. They asked if I could get to the stretcher. I said I could with some help. I took the couple steps to the stretcher and they buckled me in. As I was taken to the ambulance, I saw Beth. Her eye was extremely swollen. She said she was ok. I was put into the ambulance.
This is where our story started. The EMT told me I might die.
Oh.
Ok.
It was real then.
Still no fear. Maybe that’s natural. Maybe the panic and shock takes precedence. I don’t know, I’ve only almost died this one time. The main EMT was a young blond guy. I asked him, “Are you a member of the church, you know, we’re in Utah right?”
He told me he wasn’t, he was raised in the church but had distanced himself from it. We had a conversation about the comfort I felt having that hope. He told me that hope was a powerful thing. He told me that hope told me that even if I died today, I would see my daughter again. He told me the other EMT in the ambulance was a member of the church.
I was told we had to wait for a helicopter. The drive was too long. I might die on the way. We had to wait. I was tapping my toes repeatedly. I was doing it to stay awake. I asked the EMT, Aidan, if it was ok. He said it was a panic response, my anxiety was high. He said it was natural, but if I could take some deep breaths and calm my body, that would help.
I haven’t been meditating all this time for nothing.
I took a few deep breaths and felt my body relax. He said my vitals (I don’t know, blood pressure?) improved and I was looking good.
They asked if I wanted my clothes that they’d cut off thrown out. I told them my garment top was there and it needed to be disposed of properly. Every person I saw from then on got the message that my garment top was present, and it was important it went with me.
The helicopter arrived and I was airlifted to the hospital. I asked the man sitting with me in the helicopter if he was a member of the church. He said he was just Christian. I told him we were part of the same family. He said he loves to discuss the differences. Oh, if I could have gotten his phone number.
In the ambulance they gave me pain medicine. What a difference that made. I was also told it was ok to sleep. I don’t know if I slept, I’m sure I at least dozed off.
At one point the man nudged me and told me we were going over Zion. I turned my head best I could and looked out. My first helicopter ride could have been better. Wasn’t the worst, though.
I arrived at the hospital and was wheeled in.
I can’t emphasize enough how kind every person was to me.
From Aidan, the first person I saw at the ambulance, to the helicopter, to the hospital. Every person treated me with love.
The next bit is a blur, so much happened.
I was given more pain medicine, my skull was numbed, they tried as best they could to clean out the wound in my head and arm, I did x-rays and a CT scan.
At one point a nurse told me something I did not want to hear. She tried to see if I wanted to hear it and I misunderstood and got much more information than I wanted. She could see my skull. Cool.
Eventually they determined I didn’t need surgery. Everything was good. They could staple me up.
The doctor counted 51 staples in my head, I counted 52. He said it wasn’t often they had to use a whole stapler. I was released the same day.
Sounds like it wasn’t that bad, right? You should see me now. My head has been leaking for three straight days and my shoulder is pretty morbid. I’ll put some pictures at the bottom for the sickos in the audience.
It all ended up being fine. I lived. I’m fine.
I should have died. If a couple things didn’t happen I wouldn’t have survived.
The parts that you (and I) missed. Apparently when the ATV flipped, my brother who was sitting back and to the left of me saw my body. He thought I was literally drowning in a pool of my blood.
The other two ATVs had stopped. They said something about knowing that was a slippery turn and wanting to wait. If the other two ATVs had gone on, I’m almost sure I would have died. Them stopping was the difference between me bleeding out in a tipped over ATV and living.
I firmly believe that I am protected by angels. Not just that day, but every day. I tell Beth often that God won’t take me a minute sooner than is my time. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that angels resided with me that day. I know the others were prompted by the spirit to stay. They were feet away when we flipped.
It is difficult to get a group of 8 people to do anything in a quick and organized fashion. Set aside the panic and fear that might have set in. I’ve never been more proud of my family than when I heard the steps they took to save my life.
My brother-in-law Jared heard me yelling and thought I was crushed. Every male in the group, my dad, Jon, Garrick, Dresdan, Jared and Easton immediately grabbed the ATV and flipped it over. Jon got in to drive. Dresdan got in behind me to keep pressure on my head. I learned later that Easton was in my ATV also.
Adie and Jared jumped in the two person ATV and drove off to get cell reception to call an ambulance.
The others got in the other ATV. Initially they were going to drive ahead also. Someone realized, since the other ATV had flipped, it might have an issue driving. They drove behind us the whole way in case the ATV I was still seat-belted into broke down.
Can you believe that? In minutes, every person in my family did exactly what was necessary. Without a moment’s hesitation they saved me.
The doctors at the hospital told me they couldn’t believe I still had my right arm. They told me they’d seen a ton of these accidents and almost every time the person’s arm is destroyed or gone. They said if I’d reached out my arm would be gone. I think the airhead I was eating might have played a part in saving my arm.
God and family.
It’s weird to look back on nearly dying.
I’m amazed at the peace I could feel in what should have been a terrifying moment. I knew if I was meant to die, I would. The only thing that mattered to me was that my wife knew I loved her and it absolutely, positively, was not her fault.
Leaving Ivy would have hurt. It would have hurt. It would have hurt. It would have hurt. But I know that she would have been so loved.
I know what’s important in this life. I’m grateful for trials and scary moments to reaffirm what I know.
God and family.
To all those that have prayed for me, thank you.
To the Hollerbach’s, thank you for sending us food the night we drove back from Utah.
Beth has been off the charts amazing since the accident. She is currently caring for a newborn and someone with a traumatic head injury. She drove us back from Utah, 7 hours, the very next day. I just wanted to get home.
Ivy slept the entire way. We had to wake her for the two stops to feed her. She would get back in her car seat and zonk out. God has blessed me with so much.
I feel it necessary, because Ivy will read this one day, to say something to her.
To my sweet girl when you were born my world stopped revolving around the sun. When I thought I might die, you were my first thought. I hope you never doubt how much I love you. You and your mom are the most important things in the world to me. Never doubt it. Because I did come close the other day. I know what’s important. I love you, Ivy. I love my family and I can’t say enough how grateful I am for them.
God and family.
The pictures below are kind of gross. View them at your own risk. I’ll keep the pictures I wish I never saw private.
No Coincidences 