No Coincidences

Tag: daughter

  • Ivy and Six Flags 2023

    Ivy and Six Flags 2023

    Well, we did it. Ivy is officially a Quackenbush. She had her first day trip to Six Flags. And just as I expected, she didn’t disappoint.

    We got up at 5:30am to drive straight to the park. On the drive there I told Ivy, “This will be a day I will remember for the rest of my life.” I realized, good or bad, this would be a memorable experience. It’s ultimately why I decided to go through with it.

    We stopped along the way for our road trip tradition: a frozen treat.

    We stopped at Wendy’s before going into Six Flags. Ivy had a couple bites of her burger and a couple fries.

    Our first ride was the Grand Carousel. Ivy loves carousels and had been talking about the carousel from the moment she learned she was going to Six Flags. She loved it.

    Next, we went on the school bus. It’s a little yellow bus that lifts up and loops around in a circle. This was a big moment. It was Ivy’s first real ride. She loved it. She cracked one big smile early on, lifted her hands straight in the air. Then the ride got a bit repetitive and Ivy settled into a stoic, serious, forward-staring face. I was worried about this for a moment before I remembered that’s exactly how she rides when trailing a bike in her bike cart. She gets really serious. But if you try to take her out of the bike cart, she gets upset. She was loving the ride in her own way.

    Blankie joined on the Elmer Fudd Hot Air Balloons.

    We rode various other rides that Ivy loved. She especially loved dragging Grandpa into the Tweetie Bird cages.

    Then we came to the roller coaster train. This would be her first serious ride. It was a little wooden roller coaster. This ride was significant not only because it was fast and a roller coaster, but also because it was the first ride I couldn’t join her on. She would have to do this one on her own.

    There was one other girl in line to ride. This girl was probably 10 years old. The ride operator kindly asked the 10-year-old if Ivy could ride with her so she didn’t have to be alone. I asked Ivy if she’d like that. She shook her head and promptly walked to the second cart and stepped in.

    From my place behind the metal railing, I watched with anticipation. This was the moment. I told Ivy to put her hands up and she promptly lifted both straight up in the air. It was an awesome moment as a dad; watching the coaster slowly go up the first little hill and watching intently as it went around a corner and took its first fast drop. The joy I saw on Ivy’s face. It was something I’ll never forget. It was complete thrill and happiness. I almost teared up. I was so happy that my big girl was experiencing so much joy with an activity that also gave me joy.

    From there we went and did crafts under a tent in 100-degree heat. It was hot. There was a trick-or-treat activity in a couple hours so Ivy made a mask. From our spot under the tent, we could see the biggest roller coaster at Six Flags, Goliath. Ivy looked up at it and said, “I want to ride that one. I finish craft, then do that one.”

    Given that Ivy had a desire to ride Goliath, I decided to push my luck. Going into our trip I had very clear instructions from Beth on one particular item: DO NOT take Ivy on the Pirate Ship. This Pirate Ship if you’re not aware:

    Well, you have to be ready to adjust given new data. And Ivy had provided plenty of signs that she was ready for the Pirate Ship. It was right across from Goliath and I considered it a better option than that, after all.

    We entered the Pirate Ship. I decided to really push my luck. Instead of going to the lowest seats (the least extreme), I went right in the middle. This little girl, again about ten years old, and her mom, sat next to us. The ride started. Ivy was excited. Then that first gut-wrenching Pirate Ship tickle we all love hit. Some kids across from us were being silly and being extra loud and screaming acting like they were terrified. Or maybe they were terrified. Ivy started to panic. The ten-year-old next to us looked over with concern. The Pirate Ship got higher and higher. Ivy started to panic more and more. I started to worry that I’d have to do that thing where I put my hand over my mouth and raise my other hand to get the ride to stop.

    I needed to think quickly. Remember how Ivy likes nicknames (Ivy Thoughts Part 2)? I pulled her close to me, leaned in, and said, “You’re OK Jake Sully, you’re brave.” Jake Sully is the main character in Avatar, for those who don’t know, which I assume is pretty much everyone. That was her recent brave character and once she heard she was Jake Sully and she was brave, she got through it.

    When we got off the ride I was ecstatic, and so was Ivy. “Did you love it?!” I asked her.

    “No.”

    “You didn’t like it?” I asked.

    “I no like that one, it make my body feel icky.” Later she told my whole family she didn’t like the Pirate Ship because it tickled her tummy.

    That said, with great risk sometimes comes great reward. Like the trip to Six Flags in general, I knew the trip would be memorable because it would be equal parts fun and hard. The Pirate Ship, the biggest risk I took at Six Flags (to that point), became the number one thing Ivy talked about. For weeks she would talk to Beth and I about the Pirate Ship she rode.

    Our visit was during Fright Fest. If you haven’t been to Fright Fest at Six Flags, it’s no joke. It’s a pretty intense experience. There are tons of people dressed up as monsters. From five-foot-tall women dressed as witches to 20-foot-tall creepy tree-armed monsters, to long-nosed creatures with sparks on their feet that skate around.

    An announcement would come over the loudspeakers every couple hours during the day. The announcement stated that no one was safe after 7:00pm. The park would turn into a horror zone at that point.

    My dad, Dresdan, Garrick, and I got off the ride Twisted Colossus and as we stepped off, we heard 3 creepy gongs. Fright Fest was starting. We didn’t know where Ivy and my mom were. My mom hadn’t had her phone for hours. The last message we had received stated that Cambria was with them at Wonder Woman. I rushed over. I didn’t want Ivy to be without me when the horror started. As I rushed toward Wonder Woman, I hit a wall of people holding their phones up over the crowd. There was a stage with a cleared path leading up to it. Suddenly dozens of people dressed in creepy costumes came parading toward the stage. Then pandemonium broke out. The monsters started running around, skating and creating sparks, and scaring everyone. People started running around. It felt genuinely dangerous for a moment.

    We rushed to Wonder Woman and couldn’t find Ivy or my mom anywhere. I started trying to guess where my mom would take Ivy to protect her from the chaos. Surely the kids’ zone was still safe since it just started right? We started heading across the park to where the kids’ rides were. We had been warned. Nowhere was safe. We approached the kids’ zone which had become covered in a white fog created by smoke machines.

    I practically ran through the kids’ area looking for them. We headed for the front of the park. I looked through the windows of every restaurant or shop, thinking they might have sought refuge there. My last two guesses of where they might be were the gift shop or the Grand Carousel. From a distance, we saw them at the carousel. My mom informed us that they had been riding the carousel for the last 45 minutes, over, and over.

    We all sat at a table as we watched the horror start to approach from a distance. Ivy was sitting in her stroller and I turned her so she was facing away from a horde of approaching monsters. I fully intended to leave. Ivy couldn’t survive here. She wouldn’t sleep for years after an evening at Fright Fest. I still remember watching Chucky at a much too young age. These monsters were in real life.

    I started talking to Ivy about it to gauge her feelings about being surrounded by monsters. We started discussing staying. I decided, if there was any chance we were going to stay, then the monster situation needed to be met head-on. So I picked up Ivy and walked towards the biggest scariest monster I could see. The reason I chose the biggest and scariest wasn’t to just get to the point. I actually chose the biggest monster because I thought she could see it from a distance and not have to get too close. So I walked towards one of these:

    I showed Ivy and she immediately hugged me, hid her face, and said “No, no, no.” I walked away from the monster. Surprisingly, it was all uphill from there. We decided to take a route we thought would avoid monsters to get some food. We had pizza and then had to go through a path that was completely decked out for Fright Fest. It was like a haunted house built into a creepy trail. Inexplicably, Ivy took a liking to the monsters. I went from avoiding them at all costs to leading Ivy up to each one to say hi.

    We made our way to Tatsu. While waiting in line, Ivy requested a special trip to go say hi to more creepy monsters. So I left the line and Ivy and I went monster hunting.

    We came back to Tatsu in time for me to ride. This was where Ivy got more upset than she had all day. More upset than the Pirate Ship, more upset than the monsters, she was extremely disappointed that she couldn’t ride Tatsu.

    The lesson from this trip ended up being: with great risk comes great reward. The three things Ivy has constantly talked about since our trip have been the Pirate Ship, the monsters, and Tatsu. Months later Tatsu is still the motivation for Ivy to eat all of her meals. She needs to eat all of her food so she can get big and strong to ride Tatsu.

    Ivy ended up falling asleep at 10:00pm. For those following the timeline here, that was in the car 6:00am-12:30pm, lunch at Wendy’s 12:30-1pm, nonstop rides 1:00pm-7:00pm culminating in 10 consecutive rides on the carousel, and hunting monsters 7:00pm-10:00pm. We ended up leaving at 12:30am. That’s a Quackenbush day at Six Flags.

    And with that, our first (of many) Six Flags trips had concluded, and the next day we were on our way home after a Denny’s breakfast, frozen treat in hand.

  • Float

    Float

    If you’re a parent and ever get frustrated with your kids (every parent), especially if they are younger kids, you need to check out the Disney short called “Float.”

    It’s only 6 minutes long and can be watched on Disney+ or HERE.

    I have to remind myself often that Ivy is constantly experimenting. Everything she does is an attempt to understand the world around her. She’s never really trying to make a mess or destroy things. She’s only trying to see how that food that’s thrown will splatter and land.

    This Disney short reminds us that all children are unique and special. No matter how challenging our children are, we must remember they’re the greatest gift in the world. Every so often I have to pause and watch Ivy and think how amazing it is she is what she is. She was nothing 3 years ago. Today she is a living, breathing, experimenting, ever challenging, extraordinary person.

    I have to constantly temper what I think I want from Ivy.

    I want her to be confident, but I like it when she is quiet and reverent in public, especially at church.

    I want her to be independent but one day I’ll desperately miss her wanting to hold my hand.

    I want her to want my attention. Unless I’m busy.

    I want her to laugh and have fun and show joy. Unless it’s too loud.

    I want her to ask for help when she needs it, but I want her to do things she is capable of without me. At the same time, like the hand holding, one day I’ll desperately miss when my babe needed my help.

    All these contradictions we go through as parents.

    This is a short post just to be a reminder to all parents that your children are special. What makes them difficult and challenging is what makes them special. We aren’t meant to change our children. I actually think they’re meant to change us.

    Watch Float.

  • The Eyes of God

    The Eyes of God

    I don’t think anything makes me feel closer to God than staring into the eyes of my babies. I’ve written about it before HERE. I don’t remember this specifically with Ivy, though I’m sure it happened. But with Sage I’ve stared into her eyes and it’s the most outstanding, humbling feeling.

    What did I do to deserve this gift?

    As I hold Sage and she begins to drift off into sleep, while comfortably in my arms, I wonder what I did to deserve so much trust. She is so comfortable in my arms, so content, so peaceful, so trusting. Why does she trust me? What did I do to earn that trust?

    Nothing.

    Or maybe everything.

    I don’t know how Sage, Ivy, and I interacted before coming here. Before coming to earth were we best friends, running around, shooting hoops, reading books, taking walks? Maybe I did earn that trust.

    What did I do to earn the trust of God, to send His daughters to me?

    As I stare into Sage’s eyes, I see the eyes of God.

    She is His daughter. She is of His lineage. She is a princess, not of me, but of Him. And as I stare into her eyes, I think that’s the overwhelming, outstanding, humbling feeling I get, that I described above. It’s looking into the eyes of God.

  • The Need for God in the Newborn Days

    The Need for God in the Newborn Days

    Having a newborn is pretty difficult. Understatement? The challenges are diverse and wide-ranging. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.

    As Beth and I were driving to the hospital for her to bring a baby into the world – we prayed.

    As we waited to get checked into the hospital – I prayed.

    As we sat in our first room and Beth’s pain started to increase – I prayed harder.

    As we were moved into the delivery room and the miracle began – I prayed constantly.

    As I held my new daughter – I prayed, holding back tears of gratitude.

    As we took the new member of our family to our hospital room – I prayed.

    As we struggled to stay awake and care for her new needs – I prayed.

    As we drove home – I prayed.

    As we started the first weeks of no sleep, stress, anxiety, and responsibility. As we tried to feed Sage, as we changed her multiple times throughout the night, as we walked around bleary eyed, as she slept on my chest, as she cried in my arms – I pray constantly for help and strength.

    As Beth becomes a zombie from lack of sleep – I pray.

    As I fall asleep holding Sage – I pray.

    As Ivy adjusts to a new sister, the responsibility, and the change to her little world – I pray for her.

    As Beth works to breastfeed every 3 hours and continues not to sleep – I pray for her.

    As I go back to work, Beth having extreme trepidation – I pray, and I assure her it will be ok.

    We’re being looked after.

    As Beth texts me, “You must have said a good prayer for us for today. I can’t believe I feel as good as I do right now.” – I pray with so much gratitude.

    I know we’re being looked after.

    Having and bringing home a newborn is stressful and a momentous responsibility. I don’t think that is a coincidence. I think it’s meant to remind us how much we need Him. I’m grateful for how difficult it is to bring a new baby home because it brings me closer to my Heavenly Father. I have to rely on Him, because I know my strength is nothing, and I know I can’t do it without Him.

    I’m grateful for these challenges because they remind me how much I need Him.

    I’m grateful to know He is there.

    I’m grateful to know we are watched over.

    • Watching Kids Grow

      Watching Kids Grow

      I know everyone with kids has experienced this, so I’ll try to do it some justice by putting it into words.

      Watching your kid(s) go from potato to living, breathing, functioning being is the most amazing, rewarding, spectacular thing.

      I once heard an interview with an extremely successful man.  Like – hundreds of millions, top of his field, successful.  He was asked, what would be your one regret?  His answer?  What could someone with so much success possibly regret?  He said he wished he had more kids.  I think this individual had 6 kids, but he said something that stood out to me.  He said something like, “I don’t think anyone gets older and says, ‘man, I had too many kids.’”  You’re much more likely to get older and say to yourself, “my kids are my complete joy, they are everything, I wish we had more.”

      I know that in the moment having children is so hard… so much work.  But I think I agree with that statement from that successful man.  I doubt when it’s all said and done I’ll say, “I really had too many kids.”

      Watching Ivy develop my habits, my vocabulary, and at the same time develop independence and become her own little person – it’s unbelievable.

      For anyone debating having children, I have one thing to say:  It will provide the greatest joy you could ever experience. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear with my writing.

      I love Ivy and my family with all my heart.

      I didn’t plan on this.  I was actually writing this as its own post, not an announcement post.  But what better way to announce?

      Beth and I are expecting our second child.

      This brings stress, two children under the age of two.  Of course it brings stress.  But I know I’ll never regret it.  I can’t wait to welcome our new daughter.

      And Happy Mothers Day to the greatest partner.  Love you.