No Coincidences

Tag: Heavenly Father

  • Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    *This was written in 2022. No I did not forget about my other daughters or Bengie’s death.

    The morning of the 4th of July I woke up to a disaster. Our dog, Bengie, was not feeling well, and despite letting him out a combined 9 times between Beth and myself throughout the night, there was dog poop everywhere in our house. Everywhere. Bedroom, dining room, living room, by front door, bathroom. It was insane.

    Needless to say, my day wasn’t starting the way I wanted it to. I was hoping to sleep in a little and I was up at 7am cleaning dog poop everywhere. Literally everywhere.

    As I was walking around cleaning up, and fuming, I realized I was headed toward a ruined day. I was so upset. I realized my day was going to be horrible if I let it. A ruined day. I immediately tried to change my mindset, but it was so hard. I just couldn’t let it go. Stupid dog! I didn’t mean that, I love Bengie, but ugh. Ruining my day off!

    Finally, I got everything cleaned up and I realized I was not getting over this frustration. It was so embedded in my mind. I couldn’t stop being mad.

    I usually meditate first thing in the morning. Since my routine was so crudely interrupted, I hadn’t yet. I went to do my normal meditation. At the end of the meditation, I asked God to please help me get over my frustration and not let it destroy my day. I asked Him to help me to move on and be able to enjoy my day with my family.

    I came out of the room after meditating and Beth and Ivy were both on the couch. I was happy. I can’t explain it. The craziest part was, I forgot about it. I know it’s hard for someone reading this to understand, but this thing that was eating away at my mind and happiness, this gripe and frustration that I couldn’t let go of, was gone. I didn’t realize it until I said my prayer before bed that night. I knelt and started to say my prayer. I was thanking Heavenly Father for how great the day was and how much fun I had with Beth and Ivy and how much we got done around the house and that’s when it hit me. I remembered how the day started. The ordeal had literally been wiped from my mind. I hadn’t even remembered it happened until that moment. And then I got to thank God for allowing me to move passed my frustration that morning.

    It’s not normal to just forget starting your day with 90 minutes (not joking) of cleaning up poop in your home. But it had completely left my mind after that morning prayer and meditation. I realized what God had done for me. I’d asked for help moving on and not being frustrated, and He had removed it from my mind. I was able to have joy that day, not dwelling on how it didn’t start just how I wanted it to. In the grand scheme, was that morning clean-up that big a deal? It could have been. If I let it sour and ruin a great day with my family. Again, I know someone reading this might not understand. But that is an answer to prayer. And I’m grateful for it.

    It wasn’t until typing this, and trying to put the timeline together, that I remembered something else about that morning. I was on call that day for work. After finishing cleaning up after Bengie, I had a work emergency that I had to spend 90 more minutes on. 3 hours of cleanup and work on my Fourth of July. I had completely forgotten about it. It ended up being a great day. My mood, by an actual miracle, was not affected.

    What is the power of positive thinking?

    What is the power of prayer?

    I was recently reading about the Ten Commandments in True to the Faith. The Tenth Commandment said this:

    “‘Thou shalt not covet’ (Exodus 20:17). Coveting, or envying something that belongs to another, is damaging to the soul. It can consume our thoughts and plague us with constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction.”

    I could have “coveted” a perfect morning. I could have coveted sleeping in and waking up to a beautifully cleaned home for a great day of swimming and playing with Ivy. Mornings are rarely perfect, and houses are seldomly beautifully clean. I could have let it “consume [my] thoughts and plague [me] with constant unhappiness.” That was where I was headed. Luckily, I turned to my Father. He gave me the tender mercy of forgetting and moving on. Move on from a mess to the bright sun and pool.

    During my meditation today, it said,

    “As we navigate our emotions, our choices have a reinforcing affect. Irritation strengthens irritation, patience fortifies patience. So, when you notice yourself repeating a habit of frustration or impatience… make a conscious choice of which quality you want to grow.

    As Thich Nhat Hanh said, ‘Every feeling is a field of energy. A pleasant feeling is an energy which can nourish. Irritation is a feeling which can destroy. Under the light of awareness, the energy of irritation can be transformed into an energy which nourishes.’”

    We can control our minds and attitudes. Even when we can’t, there is prayer. When we turn to prayer and trust that He can wipe our minds of irritation and unhappiness, we realize how truly powerful our Heavenly Father is, and how much He loves us.

  • God will Provide

    God will Provide

    I often make the comment around certain individuals who I know will understand my meaning (like my wife, close friends, people from church), that God will provide/protect/etc.

    An example of this recently was when my tires were extremely worn. Beth took them to get them checked and the mechanic was shocked. He said he was shocked a tire didn’t blow on the drive over. Beth let me know and I responded, “I looked for a gif of “God protects” or God saves” or “God will provide” but they’re all blasphemous. But for real. Love that guy.”

    The blasphemous part is why I’d be careful how and who I’d say this around. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m taking this lightly or making a joke of it.

    I live my life with a serious belief that God is watching out for me daily. I firmly believe He kept a tire from blowing up on my car even though it probably should have.

    I know that if bad things happen to me, they’re for my growth and ultimate benefit. I know that when good things happen to me, God is blessing me and watching out for me.

    Now, I know that someone with no faith or someone who doesn’t understand my way of thinking would look at this as a naïve, blissfully ignorant way to live life. I, on the other hand, think living without faith is a sad way to go through life.

    I know that all things have a purpose. I know this life is extremely significant, every single moment of it. I know good or bad is ultimately for my good. Isn’t that kind of amazing? It is to me.

  • The Refiner’s Fire

    The Refiner’s Fire

    *I wrote this in March of 2022.

    One of Newton’s Laws of Motion states “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

    In life, for every sorrow, there is equal and opposite capacity for joy. For all our abilities to cause pain and suffering, there is an equal and opposite capacity in us to provide joy and comfort to others.

    This brings up a thought: Without sorrow in general, we would lose the ability to provide an equal and opposite amount of joy. If there were no sorrow in the world, we couldn’t equally counter it with joy. This puts sorrow in a somewhat different light.

    Without our personal sorrows, we could not help others through their personal sorrows. This is why, among infinite other reasons, Jesus Christ’s sacrifice was so significant. He knows all the sorrow. He has experienced it. He can help us through all our sorrows.

    For some reason this week I’ve been studying Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity. The followoing thoughts and things I’m going to write probably won’t make sense. Scientifically, what I’m about to write may be nonsense. But they mean something to me, so I will try to elaborate.

    I read that Einstein came up with one of his theories when he was looking out a window at someone on a ladder. He wondered what would happen if that person fell off the ladder?

    While watching the short video The Refiner’s Fire, Ivy was in my lap. I was in a rocking chair. She was watching with me. I rocked while I held the phone, and we watched the video. My elbow was propped on the chair so as the chair moved, my body moved, and the phone moved. I wondered if Ivy was having to keep up with the phone, trying to trace it as it moved. I realized, probably not. Like me, she was moving with the chair that moved the phone. She was lying flat against my chest so as I moved, she moved, and the phone stayed right in her field of vision, in her eyes to see.

    Then, near the end of the video, Ivy, as toddlers are known to do, got impatient and sat up in my lap. Now she wasn’t flush with my chest. As I rocked and tried to hold the phone steady, she rocked back and forth, tossed about by the flow of the chair but no longer in sync with me in any way. In addition, I had to move the phone farther away, one to try to keep it steady, and two to keep Ivy from grabbing it.

    As I’ve studied Einstein’s theories I’ve been struck by the religious implications. Spacetime bends around the object with the most mass. That object pulls all smaller objects to it. They are drawn to it. Time and space literally bend to the will of the biggest object.

    God is our biggest object. He is the biggest object of the universe. He is, literally, a celestial body of such force that from many lightyears away our sun, our planet, and we are drawn to Him. He is the force that keeps us moving. He is the force that keeps us living.

    As I rocked in this chair, I realized the chair was God. He was the force I was rocking with. And as I was rocking with Him, it was easy to focus on whatever I needed to focus on. If I was flush with Him and in sync with Him, I could focus on that video easily as it rocked with Him. Ivy also, as she stayed flush with me, could focus on the bigger picture – represented by that video. But as she was dependent on me (flush with my body which was flush with the chair – remember God is the chair), when she lifted off me, it made it harder for her to see the picture. She’d disconnected from me and therefore disconnected with God. In addition, if I raised myself from the chair, I disconnected us both from the chair, from God, and we both lost the vision. We both got distracted, we both couldn’t follow the video, we both got tossed about by the swinging momentum, trying to stay flush with the chair (God) but having disconnected ourselves from Him.

    What does this teach me?

    1. In this moment, it is profoundly important for me to stay flush with God.  Ivy (and now Sage) are relying on me.
    2. It is profoundly important for me to teach Ivy, Sage, and our future daughter to become flush with God themselves, so they don’t need to rely on me. What happens when I’m not here?

    How does this tie into The Refiner’s Fire video that started this thought?

    We can create joy to counter sorrow. It is up to me to stay flush with God so that when Ivy, Sage, and my future daughter go through their refiner’s fires, they have somebody they can completely trust. In my life I have a great capacity to cause joy or sorrow. I think the greatest joy I can create in my daughters’ lives is teaching them that God loves them, they are His, He is watching them, and no matter what happens in their life, He will always be there for them. If I don’t teach this to my daughters, it would result in a great sorrow.

    Ivy, Sage, and future daughter will go through their refiner’s fires just as I did. They will need God in their lives at that time. We all need God as we go through the refiner’s fire. Then, when we come out properly molded, we can be flush with the chair (God) and help others as they stay flush with us, until they, themselves, can connect themselves to God. 

    It is our greatest responsibility, and the greatest joy we can provide, to teach others that God loves them. They are children of God with a divine inheritance. No matter what happens to them in this life, He is always there, and it will be okay in the end.

  • Are Stupid Decisions Sins?

    Are Stupid Decisions Sins?

    I was listening to the story of a guy who was riding his motorcycle 140mph when he lost control and crashed. His body skidded across the pavement at an unknowable speed when he hit a pole. I won’t go into the details of his injuries or how he survived. I’ll only say that he survived, and his injuries were extensive. He’s missing parts of his body, can’t use the restroom, his body is destroyed.

    This led me to a thought: was it a sin for him to drive his motorcycle at that ridiculous speed?

    What separates sin and stupidity?

    Let’s break down that first question a little more, was it a sin to drive a motorcycle at an unsafe speed? Is it a sin to break the speed limit? Is it a sin to break a law? The answer is no, it is not necessarily a sin to break the law.  Men and governments make laws and men and governments are corrupt. I could elaborate on this, but I think we all agree. There were some “laws” in WW2 Germany that were evil. Enough said there.

    So it wasn’t a sin to speed on a motorcycle.

    But was it stupid?

    I think the answer is a resounding YES. It was stupid to drive a motorcycle at 140mph.

    Was it a sin to put his body, a gift from God, in such a dangerous position? His decisions that led to destroying a gift from God, were those sinful decisions?

    When I had my ATV accident was I sinning? No, I don’t think I was…and yet… Yet, was it stupid to be on an ATV without a helmet? In hindsight, of course. Most would say of course even without hindsight.

    Is it a sin to do something stupid, knowing it’s stupid, and not caring? I don’t know… I think I knew it was stupid to ride on an ATV without a helmet, and I still did it. Am I stupid or was I sinning? Or both?

    I return to the question, was it a sin for someone to make decisions that he knew were dangerous and ultimately led to destroying a gift from God?

    I think the answer is no. I think that’s the answer because he didn’t know he was going to destroy his body and that wasn’t ultimately his goal. I didn’t know not wearing a helmet that day would actually risk my life, even if I knew there was a chance, I didn’t know it would flip and I would get seriously injured.

    Here’s where an important line is drawn. Sin is knowingly doing something wrong, knowing that what one is doing is wrong, and still doing it. Sin is conscious, intentional wrongdoing.

    An interesting point to make is that sin is always stupid. This is true on so many levels. Sin is knowing an all-loving Father who only wants your best has advised you of something, and you ignore it, whether due to a belief that you know more than Him or simple disobedience. This assumes a person understands that God loves them and wants the best for them. If the person doesn’t understand that, it makes their decisions less likely to be sins. This is where the principle of: with added light and knowledge comes added responsibility, comes in. More light and knowledge means more awareness of how decisions are sins.

    I believe this is why some in the church feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt that they often blame the church for. Blaming the church is kind of like blaming God. They are mad that they know what they’re doing is wrong, they still want to do it, and this causes a conflict in their soul. This is why many might leave the church.

    Back to the topic.

    Stupidity is not always sin.

    This led me to thinking more about sin. Sin is always stupid. No matter what, sin is stupid. Sin leads to hurting yourself or others in some way.

    Stupid decisions aren’t necessarily sins. Sins are always stupid decisions.

    This is why God has given us this life. It’s a training ground. It’s a chance to prove ourselves worthy of more. If we can’t handle the trials and challenges of this testing ground, how can we be trusted with more in eternity?

    I’m grateful for the life and the opportunity it gives me to be tested, with less at stake. My soul is safe because it is in the hands of Christ. All my mistakes will be paid for by Christ, they have been paid for. I just need to turn to Him. I’m immensely grateful for that.

  • The Ten Virgins and Parenting

    The Ten Virgins and Parenting

    Ivy was recently watching a child’s video before church on Sunday.

    In the video, ten children were standing outside waiting for a bus to take them on a field trip. The children were going to a zoo and the ten children each listed what animal they were excited to see.

    In the animated video, 5 of the children were holding lunch sacks. The other 5 children were empty-handed. The 5 children with lunch sacks asked the 5 children without lunch sacks where their lunches were. The 5 children without lunch sacks had been busy playing and hadn’t prepared their lunches.

    The 5 children without lunch sacks said it would be fine. They said they would go make their lunches. But at that moment the bus pulled up.

    You know the story.

    I’m not going to reiterate the parable of the ten virgins here. What I’m going to do is elaborate on what this particular video made me think about with this parable.

    In this video, the children were irresponsible and didn’t prepare for their field trip and therefore would go hungry on their field trip. This is consistent with the traditional ten virgins story.

    What this representation made me think of, as many things do now, is of parenting. I looked at those 5 children without lunch sacks as young children, let’s go with kindergarten. As I watched, it was my opinion that it wasn’t fully those kindergarteners’ responsibility to prepare their lunch. It was likely their parents who didn’t prepare a lunch for them to take to the field trip. As my mind expounded upon this thought, I thought of all the reasons parents might not prepare a lunch for their children. Reasons include not having enough money to pack their child a lunch, not having enough time due to a busy work schedule, not being organized enough to remember to prepare their child a lunch, forgetting because a million other things are going on, or simply not caring enough to pack their child a lunch.

    I felt bad for those 5 children. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t have sack lunches. They were not prepared because their parents didn’t prepare them.

    As a kid who literally went on some field trips without lunch, I could sympathize with these children (love you Mom and Dad).

    You get this isn’t about sack lunches right?

    It is the responsibility of parents to prepare our children for the second coming of Jesus Christ. Just writing that, I realize most people mock the very idea. This is why we go to church. This is why we study scriptures as a family. This is why I read Ivy and Sage Bible and Book of Mormon stories. This is why we pray before every dinner and before bedtime. This is why I take Ivy with me to church meetings and to visit members of the ward.

    I’m grateful I was prepared with a spiritual sack lunch as I was raised. Even if my parents don’t think they prepared my sack lunch with enough sustenance, it was prepared. I was given the preparation, and I hope, despite all the shortcomings I’ll demonstrate in raising my girls, that my girls have a lunch with them on their field trip of life.

    I’d like to briefly go over those reasons parents don’t prepare their children.

    1 – Not having enough money to pack their child a lunch – this represents not having enough resources themselves. The church and those around you will make up the difference. Try.

    2 – Not having enough time due to a busy work schedule – I get being busy, I get it as much as anyone. We must make time for the most important things. We are preparing ourselves and our children to survive in a turbulent world and the world to come. NOTHING is more important.

    3 – Not being organized enough to remember to prepare their child a lunch – this one hits home hard. Sometimes I feel like I’m not organized enough and can’t give my children, my ward members, my family, and everyone around me all I can give. All we can do is try our best. Christ sees our efforts and He sanctifies and then magnifies those efforts.

    4 – Forgetting because a million other things are going on – feigned ignorance will not be an adequate excuse when we stand before the Lord and tell Him we didn’t prepare these tender little ones to know Him because we were too busy and forget. Realign your priorities.

    5 – Not caring enough to pack their child a lunch – this goes with point four above but is absolutely inexcusable.

    We have been given the stewardship of these children. We must rear them in righteousness.

    Jesus Christ is coming. It’s a fact. The world wants to deny it and focus on everything else. But it’s happening, and it’s important we prepare ourselves and our children.

    I am grateful to be a member of Christ’s Church and to have the great honor of raising two chloice spirits to know and worship Him. This is the greatest honor I could have in this life. It is a great honor and a great responsibility. I hope to one day stand before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ and tell Him, “I’m sorry. I know I made many mistakes. But I hope I did my best. Thank you for giving me these daughters that blessed me so. I hope that I made you proud.”