No Coincidences

Tag: jesus christ

  • Becoming a Father

    Becoming a Father

    I wrote and posted a first 48 hour update when Ivy was born. At the time I wrote some ramblings from the hospital. I never posted but wanted to share, even though it’s been a couple years since this was written. It’s funny to read back on the simplicity of a newborn. Oh how life has changed with two little ones. Here are those ramblings followed by a thought about my grandparents at the end:

    36 hours in the hospital.

    Swaddling and diapers.

    Resting and food.

    That seems to be the cycle of the last 36 hours. Beth feeds Ivy, change diaper, swaddle, Beth feeds Ivy, breakfast. Repeat before lunch. Repeat before dinner. In between that is rest.

    I’ve never spent this much time in a hospital. I know many have. It’s an interesting existence. I can’t say I dislike it too much. I have writing, reading, tv. What else could I need? Oh, my wife and baby.

    Ivy has been so great. She only sleeps and eats. Those are her two modes so far.

    I’m told this won’t last long. My fingers are still crossed.

    We’ve joked that thus far she has my demeanor (calm?) I’m hopeful it continues.

    I can’t say enough about how kind the nurses have been here. They have been so helpful, attentive, patient. All the good things.

    In the morning soon before the 24-hour mark we mentioned we would like to go home if that was a possibility. Within an hour it felt like 5 nurses came in to do this check or that, this test, that test. I guess they’re fine with us leaving if we’d like to. We live near the hospital so it’s not a worry to us to leave.

    My grandfather, Frank Leach, called me while in the hospital. We had a great discussion about life, parenthood, and faith. With this new life, Ivy James, in my life, and this call from one of my progenitors, it got me thinking about the Circle of Life.

    Disney’s song gives a touchingly accurate portrayal of the Father’s Plan for us here. What would I be without my grandparents? Love has afforded me much.

    What would I be without the foundation they laid? Three of my grandparents are converts to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My prayers are often filled with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for faith-filled grandparents who did really difficult things, made difficult life choices, made difficult changes, so that I could enjoy the fruits of the Gospel of Jesus Christ today. 

    My grandparents on both sides are spiritual giants and I have been extraordinarily blessed by them and the lives they lived.

    Thank you, Virginia Quackenbush, Stan Quackenbush, Sandra Leach, and Frank Leach. How blessed I am to forever have you and thank you for all you’ve afforded me.

    Re-reading this and now thinking about my Ivy and my Sage. How different Sage is from Ivy. More on that another day. How lucky I am to have this little family.

  • Plan of Salvation and What Christianity is Missing

    Plan of Salvation and What Christianity is Missing

    Outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, what does Christianity believe about the after-life? Generally speaking, Christianity believes that we are born on earth, live our lives, die, are judged, and assigned to either heaven or hell.

    I heard something on an awesome podcast called Unshaken Saints recently that I’d never realized. What the host of the podcast pointed out was that Christianity has it right. Christianity is just missing the beginning and the end.

    As I stated, Christianity believes in life on earth, then judgement, then heaven or hell.

    The truth is that life doesn’t start here on earth. This is the beginning that Christianity is missing. We lived long before we came to earth. There are many truths that stem from our understanding of our premortal existence. One of the most important truths that premortality provides us is an understanding of agency. We chose to come here. This life wasn’t thrust upon us. This is the missing beginning.

    The truth after death (the end) is that we are temporarily assigned to either “spirit prison” or “paradise,” but this isn’t our final resting place. After our temporary assignment to prison or paradise, we receive our final judgement that the scriptures speak of. This is when we come before God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ as our advocate to the Father and our judge before God. This is where we either accept Jesus Christ and the mercy He has given us and are reconciled to God, then assigned our glory by the mercy of God and His Son, Jesus Christ; or we reject Jesus Christ and are cast out to outer darkness. We must willfully reject God, Jesus Christ, and the mercy we are given to be cast off. This is the hell that Christianity understands.

    There will be glory assigned to all of God’s children. How can that be? It can be because He loves us that much, so much that He gave His only Begotten Son to save us.

    Christianity thinks the final judgement is immediately after we die. The beauty of the Plan of Salvation is the realization that everyone will have an opportunity to accept Jesus Christ. Everyone will be taught and be given a fair chance. Spirits in “prison” will learn what they missed on earth. No one will be left out. Children are alive in Christ (Moroni 8:12). No one will be lost.

    This is what Christianity misses. The beginning and the end. Premortality and the final judgement. If you cut off the beginning and the end of the Plan of Salvation, you have life on earth and spirit prison or paradise. That’s missing half the picture. We lived before we came here. We were loved by a loving Father in heaven before we came here. At the end, we will be judged for our actions, all we did on earth, our heart’s intent, our good deeds and bad, what we provided in this speck of time that will send us on an eternal trajectory. The beginning and the end. That’s what Christianity misses by rejecting further revelation by God’s prophets.

    What does this do to Christianity?

    Christianity believes we started here on earth. What does that do to our agency? We didn’t choose to come here. We didn’t know God before we came, who is He to us? This is what Joseph Smith spoke of when he talked about the First Vision. He said he learned that God and Jesus Christ knew him by name. For me, that knowledge is so engrained in my soul and being, it’s something I know, that God knows me. The Christianity Joseph Smith knew prior to the First Vision led him to be surprised that God could know him. I’m grateful for the truth God provided Joseph Smith when he appeared to him in a grove.

    Back to what Christianity believes – we come to this earth by no choice of our own, sent by a God we don’t know or understand. We come to this earth to suffer by the sweat of our brow, a fallen world, a cruel world, a challenge we don’t understand, a challenge we didn’t choose. Then God judges us and casts 90% of us off. Most are cast off because they never knew God or Jesus Christ, no fault of their own.

    This is what Christianity believes.

    The podcast provided another analogy that made me think about how this misunderstanding of the Plan of Salvation limits Christianity.

    There are two young men sitting outside of a Bishop’s office. One of the boys doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t understand why he’s there. All he knows about the Bishop is that he’s a wrathful, unkind, harsh man. This young man fears the Bishop.

    The other young man knows the Bishop. He knows him to be just and kind. He knows the Bishop loves him and only wants what’s best for the him.

    As the first boy waits, he feels like he is in prison. He is dreading the upcoming confrontation with this unkind bishop.

    What does the second young man experience? Is he not in a paradise? He knows he’s soon to meet a friend. That friend is going to give him a treat, congratulate him on how he’s been doing, give him a hug and tell him he loves him. This second young man welcomes the meeting with the Bishop.

    The lack of knowledge in Christianity represents the first young man. Christianity doesn’t know God. By removing the premortal existence, life with a loving Father before life on earth, a Plan to come to earth and progress, a chance to learn of Him after this life, and then to be judged after being given all the necessary information, Christianity only sees a confusing, wrathful God, who has unfairly judged them.

    The Plan of Salvation is a beautiful truth that Christianity is missing. Far from being completely ignorant, Christianity is really close. But this closeness, without the full truth, is extremely limiting.

    ALL of us on earth chose to come to earth. All of us already chose Jesus Christ.

    This is a powerful truth. I wish the rest of Christianity could see, understand, and accept the further light and knowledge that makes this life understandable and worth living.

  • The God You Know

    The God You Know

    When I started writing the post Unity, Peace, and Love, I actually had another point I intended to make. As often happens when I write, my point got sidetracked (I hope by the Spirit) and I ended up going a completely different direction than originally intended. The point I was sidetracked from, I still liked, and think is important, so I decided to write it anyway. Hopefully the Spirit will guide this post as well.

    In Unity, Peace, and Love I talked about a video that shocked me, the video of someone strutting up to a rameumptom to pray. The idea of a follower of God shoving people out of his way to pray was so bizarre to me. I wrote in the aforementioned post what I think ended up being a better point about this. But what really came to mind the first time I watched that video is how corrupt religion can become if people don’t know who they worship.

    In my original post about the rameumpton, I wrote about the God a friend of mine knew. His God was vengeful, exclusive, and selective. This friend believed that I was going to hell despite my best efforts. I assured that friend that I believed he was going to heaven. Do I worship a different God?

    Let me be clear, I believe we’re all trying to worship the same God. I don’t mean to make the same argument that many Christians make against members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that I’m not Christian because I don’t worship the same Jesus Christ. Just because we have different understandings of the person doesn’t completely diminish our worship. My efforts in worshiping Christ, even if others deem it a “different” or “inaccurate” Jesus Christ, is still worship.

    The problem comes when our understanding of who we worship completely alters our understanding and our behavior. The idea that someone could shove someone on their way to prayer was so bizarre to me. But what if the God someone understands has no body, passions, and is unknowable? What if someone thinks God is a selective and vengeful God that needs to be feared?Why not shove someone on their way to prayer? This shoving behavior isn’t as bad as a God who destroys people on a whim, a God who sent us here so 99% of us could be damned to eternal torment. Surely shoving someone isn’t that bad if our example is that God.

    I wrote the above before I finished Alma chapter 21 so I’d forgotten about the next part about the Zoramites, their rameumptom, and their recited prayer.

    Verse 15 of chapter 21, after the depiction of a Zoramite shoving someone out of his way on his way to prayer, reads:

    “Holy, holy God; we believe that thou art God, and we believe that thou art holy, and that thou wast a spirit, and that thou art a spirit, and that thou wilt be a spirit forever.”

    Interesting their beliefs line up with my thinking about how not knowing God corrupts our behaviors not only religiously, but in life. Here we have a recited prayer and the confusion on God’s character destroying a society.

    The culmination of the Zoramites corruption was not in their recited prayers or confusion in God, though. The culmination is found in verse 16 which reads:

    “Holy God, we believe that thou has separated us from our brethren; and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren, which was handed down to them by the childishness of their fathers; but we believe that thou has elected us to be thy holy children; and also thou has made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ” (emphasis added).

    All their confusion, twisting of doctrine, and beliefs ultimately led to a denial of Christ. We will know the modern religions have truly fallen when they stop believing in He who keeps this all together.

    In an April 2023 General Conference talk, Mark A. Bragg reminded us of the Joseph Smith quote, “If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.”

    This is where modern revelation and especially the Lectures on Faith (See here, here, and especially here for more on those) becomes so important. We must understand the character of perfection and love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ possess so that we can aspire to those characteristics. An unknowable God gives us an unknowable standard. Knowing God is perfect love, and we can do our best to be like Him, gives us the ability to do our best to emulate His love.

  • How do we speak to others?

    How do we speak to others?

    My parents and younger brother Easton were in town for the weekend. We went swimming and came back to the condo before they left. I said my goodbyes and got in the shower with Ivy to rinse off, as we always do after the pool. My family was packing up to leave.

    As usual, I cleaned Ivy up and then yelled for Beth to come and grab Ivy from me. Beth didn’t come so I yelled again. After a couple minutes Beth still hadn’t come so I opened the shower door to make sure the maximum amount of sound waves would travel and yelled again. 

    I don’t like yelling. It was something I worried about when I started coaching basketball. Yelling feels inherently mean and unkind to me. I try not to raise my voice for almost any reason.

    After the third yell I started to feel like a jerk. I wasn’t being a jerk; I was simply trying to make sure Beth heard me. After the third yell she came quickly into the bathroom. I apologized for yelling and said I wasn’t sure if she could hear me. Beth told me she heard me, but my family was just leaving, and she was saying goodbye. 

    For a split second I thought how my family heard me yelling also and felt ashamed for a moment before I reminded myself my yelling wasn’t malicious in any way. This was practical yelling; it served a purpose. I had to remind myself this because of my aversion to yelling. It wasn’t mean, I was trying to make sure Beth heard me.

    This led me to a thought. I hope my parents know they raised me so that they never have to worry about how I speak to or treat others, especially my wife and daughters. I hope my parents know there are certain ways I would never speak to my wife and daughters. I hope they know I would never speak to anyone a certain way. I think they know that.

    I hope to raise Ivy so that when she’s a grown up (can’t believe that’s going to happen) I’ll know how she speaks to people. I’ll know there’s certain ways she would never speak to anyone. I’ll know if she’s yelling there’s a purpose for it.

    Why do we speak to people a certain way? Because Christ taught us that we’re all brothers and sisters and He showed the way. I hope I would never disappoint my parents or my heavenly parents with my behavior towards others. Of course, we slip sometimes. We aren’t perfect. But the Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches me why I should treat others the way I want to be treated. I hope to instill that in Ivy and Sage the same way my parents instilled it in me, so that I never have to wonder where her values lie and how she treats those she interacts with.

  • Pain

    Pain

    The other day I banged my knee against a bed frame so hard that I almost threw up. The pain was excruciating. Then I realized, why am I fine? I’m fine because I know the pain will end in the next couple minutes, then I’ll be fine.

    I haven’t experienced tons of physical pain in my life. I’ve been very lucky in that respect. I imagine the worst thing about pain is not knowing when it will end.

    What makes pain bearable is knowing it will end. It’s the not knowing that can be truly excruciating. For example, take even just the pain of a paper cut. If that painful cut was indefinite, meaning you felt the papercut for minutes, then hours, then days, just as intensely as that first moment when the cut happened, it would be horrible. Papercuts aren’t that bad because the pain passes quickly.

    What about when you don’t know when the pain will end?

    I think that’s the worst kind of experience. Again, I haven’t personally gone through that, so I can’t say from experience. But we’ve all heard stories of or know people with some sort of chronic pain. Pain that doesn’t end would be a challenge due to the mental exhaustion along with the physical pain.

    I haven’t even gotten into mental or emotional pain. Those are different categories that can be completely different levels of unbearable.

    If you’ve read a couple of my posts before, you know where this is going: The infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ.

    Did the pain Christ felt in Gethsemane feel infinite? I doubt “infinite” is even close to an adequate word for what Christ felt when he experienced the past, present, and future sins, sufferings, and pains of a universe.

    Luke 22:41-44:

    41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,

    42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

    43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.

    44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

    I wonder if the uncertainty of time led to the ultimate request, “If thou be willing, remove this cup from me.”

    It’s hard to imagine what Christ felt in those moments. The “infinite” Atonement of Jesus Christ. Did it feel infinite? Did it feel like it would never end? However it felt, it didn’t feel good.

    D&C 19:18:

    18 “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink.

    19 Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.

    I remind myself daily that Christ suffered what He did because He loves me. I owe Him everything. I’m grateful that He was willing to pay the price of my sins and to feel all my sorrows and pains so He can support and understand everything about me.

    I hope during this Christmas season we remember what Christ did for us and why we celebrate Christmas.