Tag: love

  • Grandma, I will see you soon

    Grandma, I will see you soon

    I believe Sandra Leach was in her early 30s when she accepted the message of the missionaries of Jesus Christ. I have thanked her for that choice every day of my entire life.

    I love you Grandma. Thank you.

    The greatest gift my grandmother gave me was the gift of a gospel household and a gift of the knowledge of the great Plan of Heavenly Father.  Why is this the greatest gift?  Death should hurt.  Because I know where my grandma is going and because I know I will see her again, death becomes less a sting of bitterness and more a quiet celebration.  I know who is greeting my grandmother, I know the peace and joy she will have as she waits for us to finish our race.  Especially when a good person passes, and there’s few better than my grandma, Sandra Leach, I know where she’s going is so marvelous and wonderful.  It will be sad for us who have to stay.

    It will be a brief stay away.

    I know that Grandma has a lot to do. I know that she’s working alongside Laura now.

    Soon, one day in the near future, when my race is hopefully won, I will meet her again.  We’ll sit in some glorious place I can’t describe; I don’t have the vocabulary or ability to imagine the setting of Heaven.  We will sit and we will go over every single book she read, that she passed to me, that I read.  The books will be in the hundreds!  The notes we’ll share!  I can’t wait.  We’ll have so much to discuss.  She’ll have so much more to teach me.  Just like she taught me here, she’ll teach me there.  I’ll thank her.  I imagine there are happy tears in Heaven.  I can already see and feel tears of joy pouring from my face as I thank her for leading me there.  I will thank her for her perseverance, effort, and determination to raise a righteous home.  I will thank her for teaching my mother about God, and Jesus Christ.  I will thank her for listening to the missionaries.  I will thank her for her faith.  I will thank her for the foundation she established so I could live a joyful life leading to the ultimate joy.  That moment with her and my loved ones.  Discussing our life past and the great future ahead.

    I long for eternity.  I know eternity is just on the other side of me closing my eyes for good from this existence.  I don’t long for death.  I’m not anxious to leave all I love here.  I am excited for my future of laying a foundation of love, faith, and obedience for my daughters.  I am excited for my time on this earth to do all the things my grandmother taught me were important.

    How can I ever thank my grandma for what she’s given me?  I can only give it to my daughters and all those around me.

    Thank you, Grandma.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.

    I don’t long for death, but I am excited for it.  I am excited for eternity with you.  I have no fear of death because I know it will be on God’s time and terms.  I know it will be for a purpose.  Death will only mean temporarily leaving others to reunite with family that has gone ahead.  How great it is to have no fear of death.  How great it is to know why I’m here. Thank you, Grandma, for that gift.

  • Watching Kids Grow

    Watching Kids Grow

    I know everyone with kids has experienced this, so I’ll try to do it some justice by putting it into words.

    Watching your kid(s) go from potato to living, breathing, functioning being is the most amazing, rewarding, spectacular thing.

    I once heard an interview with an extremely successful man.  Like – hundreds of millions, top of his field, successful.  He was asked, what would be your one regret?  His answer?  What could someone with so much success possibly regret?  He said he wished he had more kids.  I think this individual had 6 kids, but he said something that stood out to me.  He said something like, “I don’t think anyone gets older and says, ‘man, I had too many kids.’”  You’re much more likely to get older and say to yourself, “my kids are my complete joy, they are everything, I wish we had more.”

    I know that in the moment having children is so hard… so much work.  But I think I agree with that statement from that successful man.  I doubt when it’s all said and done I’ll say, “I really had too many kids.”

    Watching Ivy develop my habits, my vocabulary, and at the same time develop independence and become her own little person – it’s unbelievable.

    For anyone debating having children, I have one thing to say:  It will provide the greatest joy you could ever experience. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear with my writing.

    I love Ivy and my family with all my heart.

    I didn’t plan on this.  I was actually writing this as its own post, not an announcement post.  But what better way to announce?

    Beth and I are expecting our second child.

    This brings stress, two children under the age of two.  Of course it brings stress.  But I know I’ll never regret it.  I can’t wait to welcome our new daughter.

    And Happy Mothers Day to the greatest partner.  Love you.

  • Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

    Mosiah 3:19 Talk
    January 9, 2022
    Good morning brothers and sisters.
    I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

    The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

    For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

    “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

    When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

    Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
    Conqueror”:
    “Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

    Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

    This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
    conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
    criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
    creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

    Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

    “[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

    “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
    Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

    “As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

    Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

    HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

    We can actively seek this positive change…

    In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

    “Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
    Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
    . . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

    Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

    Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

    Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

    Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

    When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

    This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

    However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

    However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

    I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

    I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • He Hears your Prayers

    He Hears your Prayers

    When I go through difficult times, for whatever reason that might be, I often find myself thinking to myself a lyric from the song “A Child’s Prayer.” 

    “Heavenly Father, are you really there?”

    I was recently having one of those difficult times and was thinking this phrase.

    I went to church that Sunday and said a prayer asking that if there was some guidance I could receive, that I’d hear it.  It was a particularly distracted day with Ivy in church.  Quick side note, it’s amazing how distracting a toddler can be in church.  Ivy is really good in church, and yet I still find it so difficult to focus on the speakers while also making sure she’s ok and entertained.

    Despite the normal distractions, I caught a speaker mentioning, “Heavenly Father, are you really there?”  I can’t remember in what context.  I believe it might have been the youth speaker.  I perked up, but that was it, the moment passed.

    It was a thoroughly uplifting Sunday that day and I found myself feeling in much better spirits.  Still, there were those lingering “difficulties” in the background.

    The next day I was with Ivy in her room.  I am more and more convinced that Ivy, and probably all children, are still at least 50% angel.  The coincidences Ivy causes in my life are too perfect.

    I was in her rocking chair on my computer reading and doing stuff while she played. Suddenly she came over to me which isn’t unusual.  I put my computer away and pulled out my phone instead.  I wanted to look up the songs we had in church the previous day because I had a song stuck in my head but didn’t know it’s name.  I pulled up Youtube to play the sacrament song and confirm it was the one stuck in my head.

    We listened to the song and then Ivy reached for the phone, again, not something out of the ordinary by any means.  She started tapping it with her finger.  I saw her click a couple recommended videos that were on the side of the screen and then she pulled her hand away.  A video started playing.  I didn’t recognize the song (at first).  It had a long introduction and then there were images of children with their parents.  Children praying with their parents, being tucked in, coloring, playing. 

    Suddenly it started.

    Heavenly Father, are you really there?
    And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?
    Some say that Heaven is far away
    But I feel it close around me as I pray

    “I feel it close around me as I pray” is the part, during times of difficulty, that I struggle with.  Because in those times I don’t always feel heaven close around me as I pray.

    I started to cry.

    The song continued.

    Heavenly Father, I remember now
    Something that Jesus told disciples long ago
    “Suffer the children to come to me”
    Father, in prayer I’m coming now to thee

    I looked at Ivy.

    Then the song continued.

    Pray, He is there
    Speak, He is listening
    You are His child
    His love now surrounds you
    He hears your prayer
    He loves the children
    Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven

    It had been so long since I’d heard the full song I truly didn’t remember that part. And when I heard it, it was so clear.  It was so clear.  In moments of challenge I remember the part, “Heavenly Father, are you really there?”  But I’d forgotten the part, “He is there.  Speak, He is listening.  You are His child.  His love now surrounds you.  He hears your prayer.”

    I remembered.

    Sometimes it’s so hard to hear Him.  Sometimes it’s so hard to remember He is there.

    Then He reminds you. 

    I want to remind everyone reading.  He is there.  Speak, He is listening.

    The world can yell at me that it was a complete coincidence that Ivy somehow brought up that song that I’ve never listened to before on Youtube.  I say, that’s ridiculous.  I needed to be reminded that my Father was there and listening, and so he reminded me.  Through my angel.

    I’m grateful for Him.  I’m grateful for all my angels. 

    I know He is there.

  • Thoughts on Beth’s Conversion Story

    Thoughts on Beth’s Conversion Story

    These are my thoughts on last week’s post, The Journal Entry of Beth’s Conversion Story. If you haven’t read that yet, read it first by clicking the link.

    “I wanted so badly to have the life I thought I knew we could have.  But we were sent here with free will and someone needs to want to change in order to truly change…”

    That statement hits hard.  To be clear with all reading: I have many similarities to Beth’s story.  I also have many similarities to her boyfriend John.  You can’t change until you’re ready to change.

    For anyone who knows my wife, her conversion story gives some perspective on why she is who she is.  We don’t become who we are by happenstance.  There are always experiences, moments, profound MOMENTS that shape us.  That is why we are here. After reading some of Beth’s story, and if you know her, you can start to see why she is caring, considerate, and loving to those around her. It is partly who she is and partly the experiences of her life that have changed her. I can relate. I used to be a self-absorbed punk. It took a lot of small steps to change who I once was.  Her words make me feel what I always know about my wife – she is special. 

    This is all I could picture as I read of Beth’s dream:

    And now this:

    God is great.

    I am lucky.  Beyond lucky.  What did I do to deserve so much?

    How could I think anything but how lucky I truly am as I read my wife’s testimony?  She is strong, and powerful, truly a queen, and we are one.

    As I read, I’m struck by the similarities in our stories.  The falling away, not knowing if / not wanting to come back, the prayer and feeling of atonement, dreams, pushes, promptings, coincidences.

    I’m brought to tears as I read my wife’s story.  All God did to bring us together can be read in between those lines.

    She wrote this April 20, 2016.  I came back to church, where I eventually met her, in March of 2016.  Coincidence?  Come on.