No Coincidences

Tag: temple

  • A Ward Family

    A Ward Family

    When Beth and I got married, we were required to leave our ward or church building we had been attending. That ward was for young single adults (YSA). As we were no longer single and saying goodbye to the days of young, it was time for us to leave.

    That ward held an important place in my heart. It was that ward that helped me come back to Christ. It was the leaders there that helped me re-establish my faith. It was the people there that helped me feel welcome and helped me to stay.

    I didn’t want to leave.

    Beth said we had to.

    After the YSA ward Beth and I joined a family ward that didn’t last long before it was split, boundaries were reset, and we joined another ward.

    We’ve now been in the Chaparral ward for most of our marriage.

    We recently moved so we’re joining a new ward, a new group of people, a new building. It won’t be that different, aside from the people.

    And yet it’s been really hard for me to say goodbye.

    We’re just moving down the street, I’ll still see some of the people from our old ward sometimes. But it won’t be the same.

    I compared it to moving away for college. Moving away for college was really difficult for me. I love my family. I knew when I left for college that everything was changing. I also knew it was something I had to do to grow.

    When I left for college, of course I’d continued to see my family. They’d only be a 5-hour drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every day. I wouldn’t talk to them every day. We wouldn’t be in the same house.

    In the same way, leaving our ward, they’d just be a 15-minute drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every Sunday. I wouldn’t talk to them every week.

    I guess I just don’t like goodbyes.

    It’s difficult saying goodbye to my family every time I leave home.

    And that’s when I realized that the Chaparral Ward in the Scottsdale Arizona North Stake had become my family, and I would miss them.

    My calling in our ward for the last year was Elders Quorum President. Before that I was an Elders Quorum counselor so I’d been in the Elders Quorum Presidency for the Chaparral Ward for a couple years. I had pages and pages of notes. Tons of spreadsheets. Tons of information, and thoughts, and to-dos for and about these people I had come to care a lot about. As I compiled it all into one email for the person taking my place, I realized I wouldn’t need most of this information ever again.

    As I closed 15 browser tabs on my computer that I’d had open for a year, it was like saying goodbye.

    A ward family is unique and special. I will miss those people. I will miss those relationships.

    A little over a year ago the Chaparral ward received a new member. A man was baptized into our ward. Soon after his baptism, he moved to a new area, so he left our ward. But he was still family. He started dating a woman from our ward and they were sealed in the Gilbert temple recently. Beth and I were privileged and blessed to be there.

    Beth and I found a babysitter that very morning, just in time to get to the temple. We were one of the last to arrive and walk into the sacred sealing room. We had only been out of the Chaparral ward a couple weeks. As we walked into the sealing room, we looked around at all familiar faces, all faces from the Chaparral ward. I realized that for this couple getting married, with no local family or family in the church, this was their famliy: Ward Family. Everyone there were members of their church. Everyone there loved them. This is the significance of a ward family. This is the power and the love of a church.

    I guess this is what Christ wants. It’s why His church is important. Over time we spend so much time with these people. We love and we serve. During my time in the Chaparral ward I thought about this group of people so much, sometimes at the expense of my family. Sometimes my family needed me but I was at someone’s new home at 8am Saturday morning helping them move. Often I would be on my phone with someone needing help while my girls crawled over me. The time put into those people I loved so much connected me to them.

    A new Elders Quorum President comes in and the ward will continue with business as usual. All will continue seamlessly. This is the structure of Christ’s church.

    It’s the love of Christ that allows us to serve in these callings. I’m grateful for that calling. It was so hard. I couldn’t believe I only served in that calling for a year because it felt like so much more. That calling stretched my limits and taught me a lot.

    I’m grateful that Christ asks us to serve when we’re so incapable.

    But now I say goodbye and we move on to new opportunities, new people, new chances to serve.

    “To ten million fireflies, I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes

    I got misty eyes as they said farewell.”

    -Owl City

  • One Eternal Round

    One Eternal Round

    I started making some bad decisions in high school. These decisions nearly derailed my life.

    During that time I was becoming friendly with a girl. She knew about some of my bad decision-making.

    One night when we were hanging out I told her I would never get married anywhere but a temple. This interested her. Why, she wondered, would someone like me, who seemingly cared nothing for this religion that I was raised with, care about a temple marriage?

    I explained to her that I believed my church was true. If my church was true, then it held the authority to marry couples for eternity. That church, therefore, sealed families for eternity. I told her if I married someone I didn’t want it to end after we died. If I were to ever get married, I wanted it to be for eternity.

    When I was in college my decision making had gotten increasingly worse.

    On a night I don’t remember, it was later told to me that I bore my testimony to a girl at a party. I don’t remember any of this. Apparently, religion came up and I told her I knew the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was Jesus Christ’s church on the earth.

    This girl asked the obvious question, “If you know it’s true, why are you doing the things you’re doing?”

    I’m told I said that even though I wasn’t living the standards of the church, I couldn’t deny what I knew to be true.

    That testimony that I don’t remember had a big impact on that girl.

    Years later that first girl from high school sent me a postcard. That girl from high school had gotten baptized. Her postcard was one of a few critical moments that helped me come back to church and changed my life.

    A month after that postcard, in the midst of my difficult journey back to church, I stumbled upon a Facebook message that had gotten blocked and I’d never seen. It was from years prior. It was from the girl at the college party, the girl I bore a drunken testimony to.

    She told me she’d gotten baptized. She told me she had never let me know how big an impact that testimony had on her ultimately getting baptized. I visited her and her budding family. She was sealed in the temple. She had an eternal family. She was happy. It gave me strength to continue on the path of repentance that was so, so hard.

    The girl from high school got married in the temple and now has three kids. She has an eternal family. She is happy.

    A patriarchal blessing is extremely sacred. I share a short line from my blessing with the utmost reverence:

    “Trouble not yourself over lost days, for you are an eternal being”

    I can’t tell you how comforting those words were when I was trying to find strength to stay faithful, and how important those words continue to be to me.

    It is all one eternal round to God (D&C 3:2). He knew I would stumble. What did He do when I stumbled? Put two people in my path that I could somehow, inexplicably, impact at my lowest, during my most degraded behaviors.

    What did He do?

    He put those two people back in my path when they could help me back. He put two people back into my life to help me remember what I always knew, what I was getting dangerously close to forgetting. He put two people in my path to remind me who I was. I am nothing special of myself, but I am a son of God. That is special.

    I marvel at the workings of God. That He loves us so much that He gave us a world so we could leave our Heavenly home, just as children leave their homes here on earth to go out and learn, and grow, and fall. He gave us an earth to fall. But He allowed us a way back.

    I know there is a way back.

    I know that Jesus Christ allows that way back.

    I know that God planned for everything. We are His work and His glory.

    I can never deny what I know.

  • Why can’t Anyone go in an LDS Temple?

    Why can’t Anyone go in an LDS Temple?

    In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our temples are sacred. Many people know this by the fact that they aren’t allowed in. This can, understandably, cause some negative emotions. Nobody likes to be excluded from anything.

    I heard an anecdote that really stuck with me.

    A man was telling a story about when he was a missionary and held Q&A sessions with local churches in the Bible Belt south. One of these sessions, a nice little elderly woman asked a not so nice question, “Why is your church exclusionary and doesn’t let people into your temples?”

    The man explained that he immediately realized this woman wasn’t able to attend the sealing of someone she cared about, which created this understandable animosity. He asked the old woman and learned she wasn’t able to attend the temple sealing of a beloved granddaughter.

    A somewhat standard response to this question is that it is about worthiness, that you must be worthy to enter the temple. Many Biblical examples can be used to illustrate this point.

    As the man was about to respond this way, he felt an impression to not give this standard response. He realized talking about worthiness wouldn’t be right with this woman. This was a Bible loving, Christ loving, Bible belt evangelical Christian. Telling her she wasn’t worthy wouldn’t be fair.

    Personally, I would have explained covenants in this moment. That one needs to make sacred covenants to enter certain places. This man received an altogether different impression, and this is the part that struck me.

    He asked her, “Do you believe that the Book of Mormon is the word of God.”

    She replied, “No offense, but no.”

    He asked her, “Do you believe this is Christ’s true church on the face of the earth?”

    She replied, “No offense, no, I don’t believe that.”

    He asked her, “Do you believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet?”

    She replied, “No offense, no.”

    Each time he told her he didn’t blame her for not believing it. That if it weren’t for the witness of the spirit to him, he wouldn’t believe it himself. He then asked her, “Do you believe that ancient prophets came to earth to bestow the keys of the sealing power to bind on earth what is bound in heaven as Matthew details in chapter 16?”

    She replied, “That’s in Matthew 16? I never thought of that. But no, I don’t believe that.”

    The man told her that’s OK, but he does believe all those things. Then he transitioned somewhere I did not expect, the story of Jairus’s daughter being raised from the dead (Mark 5:22-43, Luke 8:40-56).

    The man asked her if she knew the story and of course this avid Bible studier knew it.

    He directed her attention to the moment when Christ arrived at the home. The girl was dead. Those there mourning mocked Christ when He said she was just sleeping.

    Then what did Christ do?

    He “put them all out.”

    Christ had to remove all the lack of faith from the room. Christ, the Master. He let Peter, James, and John stay. He let the mother and the father stay. They had faith. He removed all those that didn’t believe.

    The man explained that when he goes to a temple, it’s not a marriage ceremony. It’s not until death do us part. Just like when Christ brought that girl back from the dead, telling death that it had no power before Him, the same is happening in temples. The priesthood power of temple sealing is telling death, “You can’t have this couple. This couple is protected. This couple is sealed. Even in death, death can not split them up. They are one. They are united.” It’s as if Christ Himself is saying, “They are mine, and you cannot have them.”

    That is what happens in Christ’s temples. Couples are sealed.

    The man then explained that when he attends a temple sealing, his faith becomes part of it. He contributes his faith to that couple. His provides his belief that they will be sealed for eternity.

    He then explained, “You admitted you don’t believe these things. Would you mingle your lack of belief in a place of faith? Would you have Christ keep the nonbelievers in the room to see the miracle?”

    Now, this isn’t the only reason people who aren’t members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can’t enter temples. Worthiness is a part of it. As I already mentioned, covenants are a part of it.

    But I loved this part I’d never thought about, faith is also part of it.

    I am grateful that God provided a plan and His Son so that I can be sealed to my family for eternity. I love my family. I never want to leave them. Now I look at Ivy, Sage, Beth. I can’t fathom a life without them. They are everything. I thank God every day for the sealing power and the gift He has allowed me to be sealed to them for time and all eternity.

  • Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    I recently shared Beth’s amazing talk given on the natural man being an enemy to God. That can be read by clicking HERE.

    The following week I was asked to give a talk on the topic, “how can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?” I thought I’d share that as well. My written talk was more of an outline, but here were my notes.

    Introduction

    Good morning!

    If you were here last week then you saw my wife already introduce us when she spoke.  For those that weren’t here, I am Brayden Quackenbush.  My wife goes by Beth, and we have a 1-year-old daughter named Ivy.

    Brother Patterson commented after Beth spoke last week, quote “Clearly you, like me, have married up.”  So of course, the Bishopric has asked me to speak today, more likely for you to see that principle of marrying up in action for yourself as opposed to any spiritual enlightenment I am meant to impart.  I hope along with demonstrating the marrying up principle, my talk can also provide some uplifting spiritual content for you today.

    Topic – faith

    The topic I was asked to speak on today is, “How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?”

    Let’s start with the what.  What is faith?

    Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

    Elder Dallin H. Oaks said QUOTE: “‘Faith without works is dead.’ But ‘Works without faith is even deader.’”

    How do we increase our faith?

    Read the scriptures every day.  Pray every day.  Go to church each week.  Serve others.  Go to the temple.

    For those of you that have zoned out – Okay, let’s take a quick pause.  I know I’ve lost most of you.  You’re thinking, great, he started his talk with 5 things I’ve heard 1 MILLION times.  And then you started zoning out.  Come back to me for a second.  I’ll say it again for those who REALLY zoned out.  Come back to me.

    I could go on and on with quotes about what faith is and give ideas you’ve heard over and over and over about how to increase your faith and be exemplary latter-day saints.  In my time back at church, I’ve learned that personal experiences are powerful.  Repetition is good.  There’s a reason we hear the same things over and over.  Read scriptures, pray daily, go to church, attend the temple.  Of course, these things are good and of course these things are important.

    How?

    But HOW do we really show more faith in Jesus Christ in our daily lives.  – This is an interesting question – how?  How is so independent of anyone else’s how. How isn’t a hypothetical.  It’s an action. Faith is a principle of action.  For that reason, I can’t tell YOU how to live with more faith in Jesus Christ.  What I can do is tell you what has helped me.

    It always benefits me to hear of others’ habits, stories, experiences and how they strengthened their faith.  I hope some of my thoughts can help someone here today.

    A little background about me – I spent 7 years of my life, from age 18-25 with zero church activity.  I was about as far from the church as I could be.

    It was wholesome books brought me back. Books that started making me ask the questions – why am I here?  Where am I going?

    The books that most impacted my journey back to church, and influenced my faith in Jesus Christ were Visions of Glory by John Pontius, Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage, and of course, the Book of Mormon.

    To increase our faith, we must know in whom our faith resides.  That is Jesus Christ.  This is the first how I suggest, that helped me.  President Russell M. Nelson has repeatedly implored us to study the life of Jesus Christ, understand His ministry, understand His life, understand Him.  With more of an understanding of Him, more love for Him will naturally develop, and it will become easier to follow Him and act in faith.

    What other how’s have helped me in my daily life?

    I’ve mentioned I want to focus on faith being a principle of action.  If you have faith in Christ, it should move you towards action.

    For me, after knowing who my faith resides in, it’s helped to be conscious of what I want to accomplish.  Showing more faith in Christ daily needs to be a conscious goal.

    1. Daily affirmations
      • The cartoonist behind Dilbert, his name is Scott Adams, he talks about a habit he developed in his early 20s.  What he did was, every single day, he wrote 15 times a statement over and over.  For example, “I Scott Adams will become a famous cartoonist.”  This was before he’d ever written a comic.  Most of you have heard of Dilbert.  His second affirmation was “I Scott Adams will write a bestselling book.”  He also accomplished this goal.
      • Write what you want to accomplish in your relationship with Jesus Christ, your family, or your greatest desire.  The act of writing it each day will make it a focus in your life.
      • Examples could be:  I will love others.  I will be a loving father/mother.  I will increase my faith in Jesus Christ.  I will bring others unto Jesus Christ.  I will return to live with my Heavenly Father.
      • This makes this a focus every single day.  How did Scott Adams become a famous cartoonist?  Faith.  Now he wouldn’t say it, but that’s what he did.  He put something out there, he focused on it every single day for years and he made it a reality. 
      • Make your faith a focus in your life.
    2. This leads to another how – focus on your thoughts. 
      • A book I read recently stated that rock is sculpted one chip at a time.  Concrete is poured then molded.  People are formed one thought at a time.
      • I hope the daily affirmations example shows the power in our thoughts.
      • Guard every thought.  Any time a judgmental or unkind thought enters your mind, remove it.  Remove impatience.  Remove anger.  It is possible.  Our thoughts are ours to control.  Once you control the negative thoughts, move to loving thoughts.  Keeping your thoughts focused on God and Jesus Christ as much as possible will help.  
      • Matthew 22:37-39 “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.”
    3. The third thing that has helped me is to study the scriptures with a purpose.
      • I have a close friend who is not a member of this church.  He has read the Book of Mormon multiple times and doesn’t believe it’s divinely inspired.  He believes it was written by a man and not translated by a prophet of God.  I’ve read the Book of Mormon every day for 4 years alongside an online commentary noting every time I find something from Hugh Nibley or some other LDS scholar that can’t be explained by an uneducated farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  The note in my phone now includes well over 100 notes that can’t be explained by an ignorant farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  Each day I’m excited to find another unexplainable feature of the Book of Mormon.  That strategy has worked for me.  But I invite you to think about something that can make you interested and excited to read a little scripture each day.  By the way, if you’re interested in seeing my list of “proofs” I would love to share them.  It strengthens my testimony of this work and of the love Jesus Christ has for us in providing these “proofs” of the divine nature of the Book of Mormon to those who seek them.
    4. A fourth, and to me personally, the most important thing that has helped me with my faith is to feel the atonement of Jesus Christ.
      • Can you feel your love and appreciation for Christ and His gospel?  Really feel it, inside of you.  Feel the emotion of it.  For some, your conversion moment may be so long ago that you haven’t thought about it in a long time.  Remember what it was like to realize this was true.  Think about the comfort it brought you.  Remember the feeling of knowing that Christ died for you, and He allowed you all this.  Family, love, peace, eternity: It’s because of Him.  Close your eyes.  Remember that moment.  Feel that moment.  Do that often.
      • The best time to feel this appreciation for Jesus Christ is during the sacrament, it’s why we partake of the sacrament – to remember Him.
      • You need to feel, truly feel, what Christ has done for you.  I’ve had more of a challenge doing this during the sacrament since my daughter Ivy entered my life.  Sometimes I miss the quiet time of closing my eyes and thinking about what Christ did for me that day 2000 years ago.  But then recently I’ve found an amazing substitute.  During the sacrament I’ve found it extremely beneficial to stare at my daughter.  I think about not only what Christ did for me, but I remember that He gave her to me, He saved her, and He allows her to be mine forever.  If you aren’t brought to the verge of tears every so often when you partake of the sacrament or think about what Christ did for you, you NEED to think about it more.  Focus on it and feel it.
      • We’ll be taking the sacrament in a few minutes.  I invite you to focus on Christ.  Think where you’d be without Him.  Think about what He’s done for you eternally.  Eternal glory, forgiveness, love, peace for ALL eternity. Have you thought about the word eternity?  Forever.  That’s what He’s given you.  Feel it in your heart and thank Him with all your might, mind, and strength.
    5. The fifth important part of my faith has been to repent daily.  There is always something to repent for, no matter how good we think we are, we always fall short, and that’s ok.  Because of Him.

    That concludes my how’s of developing and strengthening faith daily, but I hope you can search out your own.

    Why?

    The last thing I’d like to talk about is the why.  Why do we need to develop more faith?  Why does our faith matter?

    When this work truly touches your heart, what do you do?

    In a book called Faith in the Service of about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the armed forces, a U.S. Air Force Chaplain gave the simple quote: “I am a convert to the gospel, and I am indebted to the missionaries who saved me spiritually.”

    Do you consider your membership of this church being spiritually saved?

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland when speaking of the Apostle John’s great desire to remain on the earth said:

    “The Apostle John asked the Lord if he, John, might remain on the earth beyond the normal span of life for no other purpose than to bring more souls unto God.  In granting that wish, the Savior said that this was ‘a greater work’ and a nobler ‘desire’ even than that of desiring to come into the presence of the Lord ‘speedily.’”

    From the book Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, “Like all prophets and apostles, the Prophet Joseph Smith understood the deep meaning of John’s request when he said, ‘After all that has been said, [our] greatest and most important duty is to preach the Gospel.’”

    I’ll ask again the question; do you consider your membership to this church as being spiritually and eternally saved?  You have been saved by Christ.  Then save others.  If you saw someone on the roadside bruised and bleeding, would you help them?  And yet we’re surrounded by masses of people missing what we have.  They’re not physically bruised and bleeding. Worse, they’re spiritually bruised and bleeding.  Reach out, share your faith, love, serve, share a Book of Mormon, have a real conversation, invite to church, invite to an activity.  Many people don’t want to be saved because they don’t know they’re drowning.  That’s fine.  You still cast out a life jacket.  The world is lonely, the world is sad, the world is divisive, the world is angry, the world is hurt.  And we have Jesus Christ in our lives.  To whom much is given much is expected.  And we, us, you, here in this room, you have been given as much or more than most individuals in all of human history.  Think about that for a moment.  Billions and billions of God’s children and you live now, in Arizona, in the United States, in a free country, with the saving ordinances of Jesus Christ in your life. You live with a knowledge of God as your father, you live in the dispensation of all times, the fullness, You are peaceful, you are happy. Many of us are prosperous spiritually as well as physically.  And more important than all the physical benefits of our existence – you know where you come from, why you’re here, and where you’re going.  To whom much is given.  Has anyone ever been so blessed as us in this room?

    When we feel how truly blessed we are, when this gospel and the love of Jesus Christ touches your heart, what do you do next?  You share it.

    Don’t be discouraged by the world we live in today.  Even Christ was rejected by many.  Many are called and few are chosen could also apply to the masses that don’t want to come unto Christ.  It is still our sacred duty and loving responsibility to share it.

    I hope that we can strengthen our faith in Christ through righteous habits.  Make it a conscious decision.  Guard our thoughts.  Study with purpose.  Feel the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Repent daily.  These have helped me.  I hope we all can find our own ways to show more faith in Jesus Christ.  And when we do, and our faith is strengthened, strengthen others.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • Grandma, I will see you soon

    Grandma, I will see you soon

    I believe Sandra Leach was in her early 30s when she accepted the message of the missionaries of Jesus Christ. I have thanked her for that choice every day of my entire life.

    I love you Grandma. Thank you.

    The greatest gift my grandmother gave me was the gift of a gospel household and a gift of the knowledge of the great Plan of Heavenly Father.  Why is this the greatest gift?  Death should hurt.  Because I know where my grandma is going and because I know I will see her again, death becomes less a sting of bitterness and more a quiet celebration.  I know who is greeting my grandmother, I know the peace and joy she will have as she waits for us to finish our race.  Especially when a good person passes, and there’s few better than my grandma, Sandra Leach, I know where she’s going is so marvelous and wonderful.  It will be sad for us who have to stay.

    It will be a brief stay away.

    I know that Grandma has a lot to do. I know that she’s working alongside Laura now.

    Soon, one day in the near future, when my race is hopefully won, I will meet her again.  We’ll sit in some glorious place I can’t describe; I don’t have the vocabulary or ability to imagine the setting of Heaven.  We will sit and we will go over every single book she read, that she passed to me, that I read.  The books will be in the hundreds!  The notes we’ll share!  I can’t wait.  We’ll have so much to discuss.  She’ll have so much more to teach me.  Just like she taught me here, she’ll teach me there.  I’ll thank her.  I imagine there are happy tears in Heaven.  I can already see and feel tears of joy pouring from my face as I thank her for leading me there.  I will thank her for her perseverance, effort, and determination to raise a righteous home.  I will thank her for teaching my mother about God, and Jesus Christ.  I will thank her for listening to the missionaries.  I will thank her for her faith.  I will thank her for the foundation she established so I could live a joyful life leading to the ultimate joy.  That moment with her and my loved ones.  Discussing our life past and the great future ahead.

    I long for eternity.  I know eternity is just on the other side of me closing my eyes for good from this existence.  I don’t long for death.  I’m not anxious to leave all I love here.  I am excited for my future of laying a foundation of love, faith, and obedience for my daughters.  I am excited for my time on this earth to do all the things my grandmother taught me were important.

    How can I ever thank my grandma for what she’s given me?  I can only give it to my daughters and all those around me.

    Thank you, Grandma.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.

    I don’t long for death, but I am excited for it.  I am excited for eternity with you.  I have no fear of death because I know it will be on God’s time and terms.  I know it will be for a purpose.  Death will only mean temporarily leaving others to reunite with family that has gone ahead.  How great it is to have no fear of death.  How great it is to know why I’m here. Thank you, Grandma, for that gift.