No Coincidences

Author: Brayden Quackenbush

  • Raising our Children

    Raising our Children

    I don’t understand the timing of eternity. I don’t understand how it’s going to work out.

    There is a peculiar promise made to Emma Smith in church history. That promise was that she would be able to raise to adulthood the children she had lost.

    I always found this strange.

    Why would she want to raise her children after life on earth? Their souls will be grown, and they will no longer need rearing to adulthood like they would have needed on earth. Are there children in heaven?

    Then the other day I was spending time with Ivy and Sage. Wren was also in the room. Ivy said something very smart. Sage said something very cute. Wren spit up. I realized how precious each of these phases was.

    While I’d always considered this promise strange, in that moment it made sense. I wouldn’t want to miss out on any of these moments or phases with my daughters. Each age, each moment, each day is so unique with each of them.

    Right now Ivy is becoming so smart and so helpful.

    Right now Sage is so trusting and so happy.

    Right now Wren is so innocent and so cute.

    I could add 100 more individual adjectives for them at these specific moments. They are each so unique.

    A common theme of my prayers is asking God the question: What did I do to earn these precious gifts?

    I don’t know how I could possibly be worthy of these unique and special souls that have been sent down to me. I look at Ivy, Sage, and Wren and just marvel at who they are.

    I marvel that the world goes day-to-day without answers to these questions:

    Why am I here?

    Where did I come from?

    Where am I going?

    What happens to those we love when they move on?

    This life is so hard but without the inkling of an understanding of what comes next, it seems so hopeless.

    The Plan of Salvation is a Plan of Happiness. Because God loves us He gave us families. Because He loves us He gave us the chance to come to this planet to learn.

    I marvel at this plan and that I get to be a part of it.

    I don’t know exactly how things work after this life. I don’t know how eternity works. But I do know that God is perfect and He loves us perfectly. I know that nothing will be lost – not one moment, not one gift.

    I know that God gave me these daughters not for this life but for eternity. I know we’ll be together forever.

  • Ivy and Jesus with the Light

    Ivy and Jesus with the Light

    I was working on my laptop and Ivy saw a picture. It was an abstract-looking drawing of a long-haired individual meditating.

    Ivy said, “It’s Jesus.”

    Her and Sage say this if they see pretty much any image of a long-haired individual.

    It makes me happy every time.

    I chuckled.

    Then Ivy said, “Show Jesus with the light.”

    I paused like you often have to do when talking with 4-year-olds to figure out what she meant.

    Jesus with the light…

    Hmm…

    Then it came to me what she meant. I pulled up this image and showed it to her:

    “Yes! That’s it!” She looked fondly at the picture.

    My happiness turned to joy.

    This picture has a special place in my heart as it was once an answer to prayer that I’ve remembered ever since.

    When I was just returning to church, I attended a fireside one Sunday evening. I dragged Chris along with me. As he and I were walking around the church building halls before the meeting got started, we paused at the above picture, which is present in so many of our church buildings.

    We both looked at it.

    “Why do they look the same?” Chris asked.

    Huh. I’d looked at this picture at least 346,000 times but never really realized or thought about it. They did look the same. I didn’t know the answer.

    Chris shrugged and moved on. I was kind of annoyed I didn’t know the answer to a question I felt I should know. Or at the very least something I should have noticed in my 346,001 viewing of the painting.

    We went into the fireside.

    The speaker was introduced and he stood to speak. He powered on a projector and an image was displayed behind him. 

    Drum roll please.

    You guessed it.

    The image displayed was none other than the painting Chris and I had just been observing in the hall.

    The speaker began, “Does anyone know why the figures in this image look so much alike?”

    My head jerked to look at Chris next to me. Was he hearing this?!

    The speaker went on to explain that the scriptures tell us that Jesus Christ is in the express image of His father. Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father look alike. Makes sense, He is His Son, after all.

    I can’t remember why the speaker talked about this. It wasn’t a major point. It was something I think he assumed most of us knew (I didn’t!). He proceeded onto his main point that I can’t remember.

    I was shocked.

    Chris asked a question. We received an answer.

    I considered this a miracle.

    I think Chris shrugged and thought, ‘what a coincidence.’

    I have joy today because I came back to church. I have joy today because I consider every day what Jesus Christ did for me yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I have joy today because Ivy and Sage say “Jesus!” every time they see an image of a long-haired man.

    NoCoincidences.

  • Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    Thou Shalt Not Covet a Perfect Day

    *This was written in 2022. No I did not forget about my other daughters or Bengie’s death.

    The morning of the 4th of July I woke up to a disaster. Our dog, Bengie, was not feeling well, and despite letting him out a combined 9 times between Beth and myself throughout the night, there was dog poop everywhere in our house. Everywhere. Bedroom, dining room, living room, by front door, bathroom. It was insane.

    Needless to say, my day wasn’t starting the way I wanted it to. I was hoping to sleep in a little and I was up at 7am cleaning dog poop everywhere. Literally everywhere.

    As I was walking around cleaning up, and fuming, I realized I was headed toward a ruined day. I was so upset. I realized my day was going to be horrible if I let it. A ruined day. I immediately tried to change my mindset, but it was so hard. I just couldn’t let it go. Stupid dog! I didn’t mean that, I love Bengie, but ugh. Ruining my day off!

    Finally, I got everything cleaned up and I realized I was not getting over this frustration. It was so embedded in my mind. I couldn’t stop being mad.

    I usually meditate first thing in the morning. Since my routine was so crudely interrupted, I hadn’t yet. I went to do my normal meditation. At the end of the meditation, I asked God to please help me get over my frustration and not let it destroy my day. I asked Him to help me to move on and be able to enjoy my day with my family.

    I came out of the room after meditating and Beth and Ivy were both on the couch. I was happy. I can’t explain it. The craziest part was, I forgot about it. I know it’s hard for someone reading this to understand, but this thing that was eating away at my mind and happiness, this gripe and frustration that I couldn’t let go of, was gone. I didn’t realize it until I said my prayer before bed that night. I knelt and started to say my prayer. I was thanking Heavenly Father for how great the day was and how much fun I had with Beth and Ivy and how much we got done around the house and that’s when it hit me. I remembered how the day started. The ordeal had literally been wiped from my mind. I hadn’t even remembered it happened until that moment. And then I got to thank God for allowing me to move passed my frustration that morning.

    It’s not normal to just forget starting your day with 90 minutes (not joking) of cleaning up poop in your home. But it had completely left my mind after that morning prayer and meditation. I realized what God had done for me. I’d asked for help moving on and not being frustrated, and He had removed it from my mind. I was able to have joy that day, not dwelling on how it didn’t start just how I wanted it to. In the grand scheme, was that morning clean-up that big a deal? It could have been. If I let it sour and ruin a great day with my family. Again, I know someone reading this might not understand. But that is an answer to prayer. And I’m grateful for it.

    It wasn’t until typing this, and trying to put the timeline together, that I remembered something else about that morning. I was on call that day for work. After finishing cleaning up after Bengie, I had a work emergency that I had to spend 90 more minutes on. 3 hours of cleanup and work on my Fourth of July. I had completely forgotten about it. It ended up being a great day. My mood, by an actual miracle, was not affected.

    What is the power of positive thinking?

    What is the power of prayer?

    I was recently reading about the Ten Commandments in True to the Faith. The Tenth Commandment said this:

    “‘Thou shalt not covet’ (Exodus 20:17). Coveting, or envying something that belongs to another, is damaging to the soul. It can consume our thoughts and plague us with constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction.”

    I could have “coveted” a perfect morning. I could have coveted sleeping in and waking up to a beautifully cleaned home for a great day of swimming and playing with Ivy. Mornings are rarely perfect, and houses are seldomly beautifully clean. I could have let it “consume [my] thoughts and plague [me] with constant unhappiness.” That was where I was headed. Luckily, I turned to my Father. He gave me the tender mercy of forgetting and moving on. Move on from a mess to the bright sun and pool.

    During my meditation today, it said,

    “As we navigate our emotions, our choices have a reinforcing affect. Irritation strengthens irritation, patience fortifies patience. So, when you notice yourself repeating a habit of frustration or impatience… make a conscious choice of which quality you want to grow.

    As Thich Nhat Hanh said, ‘Every feeling is a field of energy. A pleasant feeling is an energy which can nourish. Irritation is a feeling which can destroy. Under the light of awareness, the energy of irritation can be transformed into an energy which nourishes.’”

    We can control our minds and attitudes. Even when we can’t, there is prayer. When we turn to prayer and trust that He can wipe our minds of irritation and unhappiness, we realize how truly powerful our Heavenly Father is, and how much He loves us.

  • Why I Hate the Lakers

    Why I Hate the Lakers

    When I was in fifth grade my best friend lived across the street.

    He was a Lakers fan. He and I would watch basketball together. I remember one game when the Jazz were playing the Lakers and we watched it together. I was ruthless. I was mean. I was calling him a bandwagon fan, all of the mean insults and Laker hate comments I could come up with.

    That friend was one of the kindest souls. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body. That day it didn’t matter to me. He was a fan of the enemy. My friend was being complimentary of the Jazz throughout the game. I had nothing nice to say about the Lakers. I don’t remember exactly what happened but I do know that friend left upset. A deep-seated hatred of the Lakers had been engrained in me at a young age. I knew they were evil, and I hated them.

    Bill Simmons has a saying. He says he doesn’t really hate any professional sports teams. He calls it sports hate. My hate might be real. But it’s healthy hate. We all must unite to hate the Death Star, the Yankees, the Cowboys, and the Lakers.

    My hatred runs deep.

    Fast forward 25 years and on the morning of February 2nd I woke up to a text.

    It was from Chris and it said, “No way this trade is real.”

    I pulled up my sports app and checked the news.

    Surely this trade wasn’t real. Luka Doncic, one of the best players in the NBA had been traded. Not only had he been traded. He’d been traded to the Lakers. What do the Lakers even have to offer for a player of Doncic’s caliber? I thought.

    Not real. Must be fake.

    Further investigation.

    Real.

    Can’t be real.

    How can it be real?

    I looked into the trade more.

    A soon-to-be-over-his-prime center, a first-round pick, and a throw-in player for the second best player in the league who, oh by the way, is 25 years old?

    As I read about the trade that morning, I thought back to that time with my friend when I was 10 years old.

    This was why I hate the Lakers.

    A lot of nonsense has come out about this trade since. A lot of reasonings and excuses about why the Mavericks did it. Why would they trade Luka Doncic?

    The Mavericks have aggressively bashed Luka while trying to defend their decision. If the decision has such solid reasoning, why does it need so much defense?

    Propaganda against Luka has included but is not limited to:

    He is fat and out of shape. Oh yeah, and still destroying the NBA? What happens if he does get in shape then?!?! Also, fat and out of shape, so you trade him for someone who has historically been injury-ridden and is now approaching 33 years old? The irony of Anthony Davis getting hurt in his first game with the Mavericks is too much. Anthony Davis will be out for multiple weeks. Meanwhile you can catch Luka doing what he does best: killing teams.

    You hate to root against players especially when they did nothing to deserve it. But that’s what the Mavericks did to Anthony Davis.

    Other attacks on Luka include complaints about chemistry, culture, and reports have gone so far as to basically imply management couldn’t stand him. Meanwhile, this organization that he gave the first 6 years of his career to traded him, cost him 100+ million dollars, and is now bashing him. Luka’s response? A heartfelt message about how he always wanted to bring a championship to Dallas and was sorry he couldn’t now. What a scumbag. Seriously. Maybe he is a complete jerk in the locker room and everyone hates him. Problem is I haven’t seen that.

    Another reason given by the Mavericks includes that they want to win now. Your plan to win now is trade the guy who has dragged you to a conference finals and NBA finals in two of the last three years, all before the age of 25? This guy averaged 39 minutes, 31 points, 9 rebounds, 8 assists, and 2 steals in last year’s playoffs. Win now. What a sorry excuse for an excuse.

    The player Doncic got traded for has solid stats. But he’s not Luka and he’s not 25.

    Even if you think trading Luka Doncic needed to be done, why not shop him? This is the second or third best player in the NBA. He is an out of this world asset. This trade was done under the cover of night. Of course the Mavericks have tons of stupid reasons they did this. It’s inexcusable. I talked to my JV team about this trade. I gave them a life lesson: If you have a multi-million dollar house, don’t sell it to the first person who comes to the open house who offers half its value. That’s stupid. If you have something valuable to offer, see what people will offer.

    Do you know the real reason the Mavericks didn’t make it public knowledge that they were trading Luka Doncic?

    1. Because the NBA world would have said, what? Really? And made them feel stupid.
    2. Their fan base would have revolted.

    If that’s not the reason they didn’t do this as a complete secret, then I just don’t know. The trade is even more stupid.

    Kareem Abdul Jabaar.

    Magic Johnson.

    Shaquille O’Neal.

    Kobe Bryant.

    Pao Gasol.

    Dwight Howard.

    LeBron James.

    Anthony Davis.

    And now Luka Doncic.

    Add him to the list of best players of all time gifted to the Los Angeles Lakers.

    This is why I hate the Lakers.

  • Books 2024

    Books 2024

    Since my 2023 list came out so late and I had a hard time remembering the books, I decided to get a jump start on 2024.

    Here is my list in order of favorite/most enjoyable reads of 2024 down to the least enjoyable yet still rewarding.

    1. Earth in the Beginning by Eric N. Skousen
      • The fact that I’ve given copies of this book to two people already should indicate that I enjoyed this book. My favorite books are those that expand my mind and make me think of something I’d never before considered. This book did that many times.
    2. Hugh Nibley’s semester two on the Book of Mormon
      • Speaking of “books” (this is more a lecture) that expand my mind, that is the perfect description of all things Hugh Nibley for me. Semester one was #7 in 2023’s list. I love getting a look into Hugh Nibley’s mind. If I could have dinner with one historical figure, Hugh Nibley might make my top 10 list.
    3. 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris
      • I’m currently reading this book again in 2025. Enough said.
    4. Lethal White by Robert Galbraith
      • I read this alongside the next book on this list. It was a rare time that I was reading two fictional books concurrently. As I thought back on reading this alongside The City, I realized there were ebbs and flows where I liked one above the other. The tie-breaker? J.K. Rowling (the greatest author of our generation, duh).
    5. The City by Dean Koontz
      • Reading one Dean Koontz book a year is the perfect amount. If you read too many they all start to blur together. This was a fantastic book with a surprisingly powerful message. Very much enjoyed it.
    6. Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity by Nabeel Qureshi
      • This book was recommended by a friend. It was the story of a man who converted from Islam to Christianity, a truly life threatening choice. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. One of my favorite topics is how people find faith in one way or another. This was an interesting story about this man’s journey through a shift in rethinking everything he thought he knew about the world.
    7. The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible by John Geiger
      • This book was recommended by Beth. It includes true stories of people experiencing what has been called “The Third Man.” Beth thought I would enjoy it because of my love of all things spiritual and especially near-death experiences. She was right. I believe there is something real and misunderstood about this “third man” concept. Great read.
    8. #Positivity: You are always in the right place at the right time by Phil Helmuth
      • Another very short book. I took a lot from this book and quite enjoyed it. All about the power of positive thinking and making the most of your talents. Intriguing coming from one of the most successful poker players ever.
    9. Hugh Nibley’s semester three on the Book of Mormon
      • At this point in the “class” Hugh started to repeat a lot of themes and information, so I felt like I’d read some of it before and the new insights started to come much less often. It was still informative and I still loved reading his words.
    10. The Fall of Adam, the Atonement of Christ, and Organic Evolution by Reid E. Bankhead
      • There is a somewhat random process to my selection of books and the fact that this one came up right after the first book on this list was interesting to me. This was basically a short collection of quotes from church leaders about evolution.
    11. Revelations of the Restoration by Ostler and McConkie
      • This was the second straight year I started the year with a huge church history book (#13 from 2023). This one was longer but less dry than the previous year’s. This one was a little more palatable and easier to read.
    12. Hell House by Richard Matheson
      • It’s so hard to rate these books. How do you put Hell House amidst Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, and Revelations of the Restoration? It felt strange putting it above those. It also felt strange putting it behind because this book was an extreme page turner. I had an incredibly hard time putting it down. I think I read it in a few days. It was perfectly spooky and scary without being too obscene. I really liked this book. First scary book I’ve read in a while and I’m glad I did.
    13. Anything you want by Derek Sivers
      • I was somewhat disappointed in this book. I’d heard so much about it so probably more an issue with expectations. Derek Sivers’s story was really interesting to me. He sold his company CD baby for a large amount of money. But the book wasn’t super memorable.
    14. The Lost Road and Other Writings (Book 5 Book of Lost Tales set) by Christopher Tolkien
      • A book can’t be rated too highly if I wasn’t too disappointed to be done with it. See #17 2022, #16 2022, #15 2023, and #17 2023 for more information on the series. That said, now that I’m done with these “Lost Tales” books, I do look forward to re-reading Lord of the Rings to see what more I pick up on, one day.
    15. The Works of Edgar Allen Poe Raven Edition
      • Edgar Allen Poe joins the ranks of The Outsiders (#13 2021) and Catcher in the Rye (#30 2021) – classics that I just don’t get. These short stories from Edgar Allen Poe were perplexing. Most of the time I didn’t understand what was happening. Maybe I’m not sophisticated enough.