Find yourself a wife that is kind, caring, and good.
Find someone you know will be a good mother not by any one action or by any words but by their being; who they are.
Find someone who will love, uplift, and support you through everything you want to accomplish.
Here’s an important one: find someone that will love you conditionally. The world says to find someone that loves you unconditionally. That’s too easy. Where is the growth and progression in being loved unconditionally? Find someone who wants you to improve and be better as much as you yourself want to improve and be better.
Find someone who also wants to be better.
When two people independently want to be stronger and better, they collectively become stronger and better.
As important as someone who loves you conditionally, find someone who loves the Lord unconditionally. Find someone who has a testimony of what is important in this life. While the world moves and shakes, find someone with a foundation. So that if ever your foundation becomes weak, you have someone whose foundation is strong.
Keep your foundation strong for that person as well, so that they can rely on you when their foundation needs shoring up.
Find someone who wants God to be a part of your life, family, and home. If God is in your home, your home can never fail.
Find someone with faith. Find someone with devotion. Find someone you can trust.
“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”
Why does heaven rejoice over a returned sinner?
Why does Christ love a returned sinner? This should be obvious. Christ loves a returned sinner because they’re utilizing His Atonement, the great gift He gave them. He suffered for that gift. Why wouldn’t He rejoice over it being used?
It’s very important to point out that this doesn’t make the returned sinner any better than the constantly faithful. Do you think God is up there thinking, “you were always upright. Too bad you didn’t sin some more so I could have increased joy”? Of course not. God loves the consistently faithful. I think another important point here is that we’re all sinners. So, by this scripture we can know, that God loves all who repent of sins. We all sin.
An individual from history who was a clear sinner, making evil choices, even if he didn’t realize it, was Paul. Paul ended up being one of the greatest missionaries ever but started as the greatest persecutor of the church. Paul received a miraculous visit from Jesus Christ. This converted him and he instantly changed his ways. As we read the scriptures, Paul’s change seems instant. But I believe there was a reason he had to travel blind for three days. I believe his change was actually slow and required a lot of humility.
Paul became an obvious example of Luke 15:7, heaven rejoicing. Paul was such a go-getter of persecution; the Heavens must have been excited to have him on their team once he converted. Imagine how the angels rejoiced when Paul turned to the Lord because they now knew how ferocious he would be for the Lord.
Peter can be seen as another example of someone who didn’t always make the right choices. Isn’t it amazing to read the New Testament and consider how flawed the individuals were who Christ chose to spread His word and be His ministers? Peter was no exception. You can look to Peter’s three denials of Christ as a great scriptural moment representing needing to learn a lesson, repent, and double down on conversion and commitment.
Peter made a huge, and life-altering mistake by denying Christ those three times. It was life-altering for how it helped Peter change his life. It could have been life-altering in how it turned Peter away from Christ. He could have gone the other way. Christ knew He wouldn’t. That’s why Christ picked Peter.
The show “The Chosen” does an interesting job of depicting Peter. What if Peter was kind of a bad guy? Not a bad heart, but did some bad things. A rough guy. A guy that made a lot of mistakes before he met Jesus and fell in as one of his apostles. Then, slowly, over much time around the Master, Peter became His primary apostle. Peter eventually became the president of Christ’s church.
The student manual for the book of Mark notes:
“Mark, more than the other Gospel writers, recorded the disciples’ shortcomings (see Mark 4:36-41; 6:52; 8:14-21). The disciples’ weaknesses stand in contrast to their greath faith and successes, which are depicted in the book of Acts, helping us appreciate the transformation brought about by the Resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Ghost.”
Never judge a sinner. They can become the most kind, most gentle, most Godly person. We all have Godhood in us. One day our sins will be in great contrast to our faith and successes when we ultimately attain our full potential.
The Bible Dictionary definition of “conversion” states:
“Denotes changing one’s views, in a conscious acceptance of the will of God (emphasis added, Acts 3:19). If followed by continued faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism in water for the remission of sins, and the reception of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, conversion will become complete and will change a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person-a new creature in Christ Jesus (see 2 Cor. 5:17). Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing (emphasis added, see Luke 22:32; D&C 112:12-13). To labor for the conversion of one’s self and others is a noble task, as in Ps. 51:13; Dan. 12:3; James 5:19-20; Alma 26; D&C 18:15-16.”
The part that stood out to me most from that definition was that complete conversion comes after many trials. I know it did for me. I had to experience the bitter to appreciate the sweet. I had to see how dark life could feel to appreciate Christ’s light. I know my testimony is stronger because I had to learn how dark it can be.
Did Peter experience his change through trials? Did Paul? I think they did. Those who go through the greatest trials and then turn to the Lord become his most devout followers. Paul was blind. That’s quite a trial. But when he saw the light, he never turned away from it again.
We all don’t receive miraculous visitations from Jesus Christ like Paul did, or get to work with Christ side-by-side like Peter, but we can still feel His presence, serve Him, and feel what it’s like to have Him by our side. Imagine how different your actions would be day-to-day if Christ was with you? Well, He is.
Sometimes I worry that faithful, day-one-never-wander latter-day saints are missing this. This devotion to the cause. This understanding of how much you need Him. It’s why trials happen. Otherwise, we’d all walk merrily through this life, never understanding the true depth of the Atonement and how desperately we need Him.
Now, trials come in all shapes and sizes. Just because someone appears to never have gone through “it”, doesn’t mean they’ve never gone through it. We never know the internal struggles, challenges, and difficulties someone faces in their faith. It’s usually not on the outside. But if you see a devoted person to God, you can assume they’ve been through something. It’s those somethings that bring us to Him.
God loves a returned sinner. Remember that whenever you make a mistake. While we don’t want to make mistakes, we always want to do our best, God will welcome us back with open arms when we make mistakes and repent. It’s a comforting thought whenever we mess up. God knows our heart. Part of making mistakes and repenting is truly regretting it. This doesn’t mean beating yourself up about it or getting too down on yourself, but it does mean truly feeling regret and remorse for mistakes. This can’t be faked. God knows your heart.
I think we can learn something really neat from examples like Peter and Paul. No matter how far we stray, God has a place for us. God doesn’t look at what we’ve been or what we are, but what we will be. He knows what we will be. He sees that in us. I’d guess it’s His greatest desire that we see in ourselves what He already knows is there.
Be like Peter and Paul. Be someone Christ can pick.
We all have faith. We have faith that we eat, and the food will sustain our body. We have faith that we drink, and the water sustains our body. We have faith that we breathe, and air sustains our body. We have faith that we will move, and it happens. Every act of our lives is an act of faith.
As Lectures on Faith Lecture First says: “without [faith], both mind and body would be in a state of inactivity, and all their exertions would cease, both physical and mental.”
Whether you believe in a Creator or not, this fact remains: all have faith. The only question is: what is your faith in?
I previously wrote about the faith of an atheist HERE. That post talks about the hope of an atheist. What about the faith?
If we all live by faith, what does an atheist have faith in?
The only thing I can think that an atheist has faith in is their self.
When you remove God from the equation, what else is there? There is you, your mind, your thoughts, your supremacy. Not only that, if there is no God, then this all just happened by chance. You are a product of random chance, with no meaning. You are an object with atoms inside of you bouncing around causing you to do things. If this is all by chance, there is no free will. If there is no God and we are all happenstance, if we are all a great coincidence, then we are Gods, and there are no Gods. There is nothing. There is no point.
A lack of a belief in God is a lack of belief in anything. If this life is not about a bigger plan then it’s all pointless.
“For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.”
“They” in this verse was referring to the followers of Alma. Some time earlier in the Book of Mormon story, Alma recruited a group of people who were baptized and covenanted to follow Jesus Christ. This group of people then fled from the rule of their wicked king, Noah.
Before Alma’s people could flee, though, a prophesy was made by a man named Abinadi.
“Yea, wo be unto this generation! And the Lord said unto me: Stretch forth thy hand and prophesy, saying: Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage [emphasis added], and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh.”
This epic part of the story in the Book of Mormon is long and complex but long story short – Alma and his people fled wicked King Noah. Then King Noah is attacked by the Lamanites and flees into the wilderness where he is eventually burned and killed. His son, Limhi, takes over as king of the people. Limhi’s people are brought into bondage.
Some time later, the Lamanites stumble upon Alma’s people, and Alma’s people are also brought into bondage.
Remember, Alma’s people at this point had repented of their sins, been baptized, and turned to Christ with all their hearts. Remember Abinadi’s words, “this generation…shall be brought into bondage.” When Abinadi spoke these words, he was prophesying in the name of the Lord. Can the Lord lie? The Lord cannot lie. When He speaks, it must be true, and it must come to pass.
Despite their new covenants, prophesy still had to be fulfilled, and Alma and his people had to be brought into bondage.
There are many important lessons we can learn from this story. In particular we can learn from the people of Alma. Despite their good choices, they were still brought into bondage. Making good choices, being good people, doing all the right things like keeping our temple covenants, serving others, going to church, taking the sacrament; none of these things exclude us from adversity. Just because we’re following Christ and doing everything right, doesn’t mean everything goes perfect for us. Bad things happen to good people.
Why do bad things happen to good people? Because lessons are learned through trial.
What lesson is learned here?
Mosiah 24:13-14 is the Lord speaking to Alma and the people, amidst their trial:
“Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage [emphasis added]. I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.”
The Lord could not lie. The people had to be brought into bondage. But, importantly, the Lord would be with them, He would make their burdens light. And also importantly, as Mormon said in verse 23: “I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yeah, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.” Since the Lord could not lie, the people could know that when he covenanted to deliver them from bondage, it would happen. They were brought into bondage because the Lord said it would be, now He was saying He would deliver them. They knew they could trust the Lord’s word.
Amidst our hardest trials and most difficult times, we can turn to the Lord, and know that He will support, protect, and redeem us. No matter how difficult it gets. You, reading this, have your trials been as bad as becoming slaves to a harsh and bloodthirsty people? Rely on the Lord, and don’t murmur against Him. Continue to do your best and trust Him.
Limhi’s people were in bondage for an estimated 18 years while Alma’s people were in bondage for 1 year. Do you think it made the one year any easier for Alma’s people because the people they’d left got it at least 18 times worse? Of course not. In that time, they had made all the right choices and still had to give 365 days of servitude. But ultimately, because of their covenants with the Lord, He delivered them.
Don’t forget: with God, your burdens will be made light. Follow Him.
Sage has gotten much better at sleeping at night, thank goodness. That first month was rough. One night when Sage was a month old, I made live update notes to track her sleeping and try to understand why she was having such a hard time. Here are those notes, exactly as I typed them in my phone. These were typed in a sleepless blur throughout the night. Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (round two).
10/4 – 10/5 with Sage:
Fussy all night.
Between 11:30pm and 1:30am – gave her gas drops and she fell asleep on my arms maybe midnight? Transfer her to dock (her bed) and try to hold in pacifier. Continues to cry.
1:30am appears to be in pain. Has gas.
1:32am patting her back upright seems to provide a little relief. Not much. She’s still crying.
1:34am can feel her farting every couple minutes. Definitely tummy trouble.
1:36am starts to use the restroom and seems to have relief for a moment then cries much harder. This all upright on my chest.
1:37am she randomly seems to fall asleep on my chest with no patting or anything for ~45 seconds then starts crying again.
1:40am Again seemingly randomly falls asleep. Gently rocking on chest, very subtle. She seems to be asleep on chest. Right arm under her bum. She’s laying on her left cheek. Her right arm up by face.
When did she eat tonight? What happened between 11:30pm and 1:30am?
1:44am she starts to cough. Was afraid she was going to wake up. She stayed asleep.
1:45am want to try to sleep but afraid any movement will wake her. Sitting upright with head against the wall Sage at ~45 degree angle. She just did a shudder breath but still asleep.
1:46am she seems ok, still sleeping. Starts clutching at my chest. Her breathing becomes audible. Sounds like she’s trying to pull in air for a couple breaths.
1:49am she starts to tense up. Sounds like she is having a hard time breathing. She starts squirming a little. She’s still kind of asleep.
1:51am nothing has changed but she’s in pain? Squirming and moving and starts crying.
1:52am sit more upright. She is squirming and crying. Beth sits up and says she thinks she’s going to throw up. Sage crying. Rocking doesn’t help.
1:53am Sage falls asleep to gentle rocking.
1:54am Sage asleep. Stop rocking. Beth in bathroom. Might have a stomach bug or something. Maybe going to throw up due to the Sage crying and lack of sleep etc.
1:55am Sage falls asleep. Beth didn’t throw up.
Sage ate at 11:39pm until 12:23am. I guess I was asleep at that time. I’ve been up ever since.
1:57am Beth says Sage has been eating a lot more the last two days. An extra hour or more feeding in 24 hour period. Not this night but the night before we started the reflux medication. Tonight and the night before have been the worst nights. She also got her shot 10/3. So after shot and starting reflux medicine, I don’t think Sage has slept much at all either night.
2:00am she’s still sleeping. Same position as last time she slept. Can hear her breathing. Quiet sound.
2:03am what’s the temperature in Ivy’s room? It’s very cold in here. My arm outside the covers freezing. Sage getting cold?
2:08am big shudder breath. Breathing more audible. Still sleeping.
2:10am fix duplicate note. Can’t really sleep. Too awake. Read scripture. Alma chapter 8.
2:17am Alma 8:6 how did Joseph Smith know Maya place names ended in “ha”/”hah”?
2:18am Sage still sleeping.
2:20am reading in preach my gospel about eternal marriage. Someone in conference talk I listened to today, maybe yesterday (what are days?). It was Holland’s Sunday morning talk. He talked about the story of King David and how he wouldn’t take the wood and animal to make an offering to God that was free. He wanted to pay for the wood and animal. He essentially said he wouldn’t offer something to God that didn’t cost him anything. That’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?. Is anything worth having worth having if it doesn’t involve some sacrifice?
2:24am Sage is stirring a bit. Still sleeping. Right arm getting tired holding her.
2:26am I was looking at old notes earlier from when Ivy didn’t sleep. This all seems vaguely familiar. Like a fever dream. Notes seem to indicate Ivy was much later. Like 6-8 months old which is of course right. It was after that we started her sleep training and she’s slept like a champ ever since. Our struggle with Ivy in the first two months was getting her NOT to sleep. The girl wouldn’t open her eyes to eat. We’d take her outside in a diaper in the cold to try to get her to open her eyes. Different kinds of stresses. I’m now remembering that was after my accident too. So my arm was all messed up and gauze wrapped. Oozing puss and blood all day. I have a memory of taking Ivy outside in the cold, me shirtless, arm wrapped, head wrapped in a bandage, Ivy in only a diaper, holding her up to the moon like a sacrifice. And that girl just slept through it. Lol it was crazy. Funny to look back on now. I’m sure we’ll laugh back on this with Sage too. “First 4 weeks of that girl’s life she’d pretty much only sleep on dad’s chest <3”. You gotta look at it that way and remind yourself of those things. Because, though this seems miserable, and my back and neck hurt, and tomorrow’s/today’s going to be rough, one day I’ll miss these nights. How sad is that? One day I’ll so desperately want Sage and Ivy’s attention that I’ll miss sitting up all night with them on my chest, or taking them naked out in the cold at midnight. Makes me want to cry. But I won’t cry because that would wake Sage.
2:35am she breathed crazy and stirred for a moment but is still sleeping.
2:36am back to preach my gospel. I wonder if I posted to my blog the post about the need for God yet? That might be coming out this Thursday. This is the perfect example of that. This night is hard. But I desperately need God’s help through it so I’m coming closer to him. And this is giving me the opportunity to ponder how precious this life on my chest is. Sometimes you get swept away in how difficult it is. It’s nice to pause and remember what a gift she is.
2:39am I pulled my right hand out from under Sage so I can type with two hands. She’s pretty securely stuck to me, like Velcro. She’s still sleeping. Now only my neck and back hurt.
2:43am you should go read the family a proclamation. It’s pretty good. “Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.” “Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”
2:45am Sage kicks a lot in her sleep. Beth used to talk about this.
2:48am isn’t it crazy to think about our divine destiny? Where we’ll be one day? “In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life.”
2:49am I haven’t read my patriarchal blessing in a while and have been wanting to. Now seems as good a time as any.
2:51am I got it 6 years ago. Time flies. The church website makes it really easy to get to. “He presented His Plan of Happiness through His Son and you accepted it with all its rigors and challenges.” That part is good to remember as Sage starts to stir.
2:53am Sage still asleep. Adding Sage and Ivy to my auto-fill to capitalize their names automatically on my phone.
2:56am I’m glad Beth is sleeping, and she’s not sick. That would have sucked if she was sick.
2:59am “You know that the path of God will lead to eternal happiness, and He invites every soul to return to His presence.”
3:04am I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten through my patriarchal blessing without tears.
