My grandpa Stan recently turned 90 years old. For his birthday, all his children and grandchildren wrote him a letter. This is the letter I wrote to my grandpa.
Grandpa,
One of my earliest memories was my first and only trip to Grandaddy Lake. It was horrible. Keep in mind, I was maybe 4. It rained the whole time. It was so miserable. But I still remember it.
I remember hiking back after the long week there. It was raining. I’m not sure it ever stopped raining. I was walking through mud, and I was crying. Everyone else was hiking with big backpacks for the trip. I had my little toy backpack on, and I was crying about it, about the hike, about the rain, about the mud, about my miserable existence.
You got frustrated with me. It was the only time I recall seeing you frustrated/angry/mad. I cried more.
My dad took my little backpack. I still have a memory of my dad shirtless, hiking in the rain. He was hiking now with his huge backpack on his back and my little backpack on his shoulder.
I looked around at all my aunts, uncles, you, and my dad and realized no one else was complaining. Everyone was cold, wet, and frustrated, but no one was complaining.
This core memory has stuck with me. I like to think it impacted me and in some minor, or possibly major ways, has shaped me.
The Las Vegas Quackenbush clan (my family) has never been to Granddaddy Lake. We have our modern-day equivalent. We now go to the theme park Six Flags Magic Mountain multiple times a year. It is a requirement that any future in-law go through the gauntlet of a 12-hour day at Magic Mountain before they can even think about being accepted into the family.
When Beth came to Six Flags with us for the first time, we were all so happy because there was a high heat warning. The lines were great! Meanwhile, we almost died. My roommate came with us to Six Flags once. He’s sworn to never return.
I now have two daughters that I joke, tongue-in-cheek, about needing to remove as much Cannon from (Beth’s maiden name) and insert as much Quackenbush into as possible.
This is the Grandaddy Lake mindset. More importantly, this is what it is to be a Quackenbush. I take pride in my name.
I take pride in you.
I take pride in our pioneer roots.
I take pride in the foundation of faith I have been afforded.
I take pride in what you and Grandma built, for me.
I take pride in what you and Grandma built, for my family, for my daughters.
I want to thank you for choosing an eternal companion of from among the devoted young women of The Kingdom. That is a line from my patriarchal blessing. I was able to choose an eternal companion who is an amazing mother, wife, and person because of you. I am able to raise my daughters with a confidence in things eternal because of you and Grandma. I am able to see the bigger picture, endure, have faith, progress, learn, grow, and get better, all with an understanding of who I am and where I come from, because of you and Grandma.
I don’t know what I did to earn the position in the family I’ve been given, but I thank you.
I look forward to one day having a life review. I hope to see some or all of your life review and Grandma’s life review. I look forward to one day seeing all the sacrifices endured and trials met head on by Grandma and yourself so that I could have the mortal experience I have been afforded. You and Grandma are a foundation. You created a foundation. In this life I’ll never fully understand all you went through and struggled with so I could have what I have. One day, I hope to understand. On that day, I will stand, and I will kneel, and I will thank my progenitors, you, for what you did for me. We all will.
Well, we did it. Ivy is officially a Quackenbush. She had her first day trip to Six Flags. And just as I expected, she didn’t disappoint.
We got up at 5:30am to drive straight to the park. On the drive there I told Ivy, “This will be a day I will remember for the rest of my life.” I realized, good or bad, this would be a memorable experience. It’s ultimately why I decided to go through with it.
We stopped along the way for our road trip tradition: a frozen treat.
We stopped at Wendy’s before going into Six Flags. Ivy had a couple bites of her burger and a couple fries.
Our first ride was the Grand Carousel. Ivy loves carousels and had been talking about the carousel from the moment she learned she was going to Six Flags. She loved it.
Next, we went on the school bus. It’s a little yellow bus that lifts up and loops around in a circle. This was a big moment. It was Ivy’s first real ride. She loved it. She cracked one big smile early on, lifted her hands straight in the air. Then the ride got a bit repetitive and Ivy settled into a stoic, serious, forward-staring face. I was worried about this for a moment before I remembered that’s exactly how she rides when trailing a bike in her bike cart. She gets really serious. But if you try to take her out of the bike cart, she gets upset. She was loving the ride in her own way.
Blankie joined on the Elmer Fudd Hot Air Balloons.
We rode various other rides that Ivy loved. She especially loved dragging Grandpa into the Tweetie Bird cages.
Then we came to the roller coaster train. This would be her first serious ride. It was a little wooden roller coaster. This ride was significant not only because it was fast and a roller coaster, but also because it was the first ride I couldn’t join her on. She would have to do this one on her own.
There was one other girl in line to ride. This girl was probably 10 years old. The ride operator kindly asked the 10-year-old if Ivy could ride with her so she didn’t have to be alone. I asked Ivy if she’d like that. She shook her head and promptly walked to the second cart and stepped in.
From my place behind the metal railing, I watched with anticipation. This was the moment. I told Ivy to put her hands up and she promptly lifted both straight up in the air. It was an awesome moment as a dad; watching the coaster slowly go up the first little hill and watching intently as it went around a corner and took its first fast drop. The joy I saw on Ivy’s face. It was something I’ll never forget. It was complete thrill and happiness. I almost teared up. I was so happy that my big girl was experiencing so much joy with an activity that also gave me joy.
From there we went and did crafts under a tent in 100-degree heat. It was hot. There was a trick-or-treat activity in a couple hours so Ivy made a mask. From our spot under the tent, we could see the biggest roller coaster at Six Flags, Goliath. Ivy looked up at it and said, “I want to ride that one. I finish craft, then do that one.”
Given that Ivy had a desire to ride Goliath, I decided to push my luck. Going into our trip I had very clear instructions from Beth on one particular item: DO NOT take Ivy on the Pirate Ship. This Pirate Ship if you’re not aware:
Well, you have to be ready to adjust given new data. And Ivy had provided plenty of signs that she was ready for the Pirate Ship. It was right across from Goliath and I considered it a better option than that, after all.
We entered the Pirate Ship. I decided to really push my luck. Instead of going to the lowest seats (the least extreme), I went right in the middle. This little girl, again about ten years old, and her mom, sat next to us. The ride started. Ivy was excited. Then that first gut-wrenching Pirate Ship tickle we all love hit. Some kids across from us were being silly and being extra loud and screaming acting like they were terrified. Or maybe they were terrified. Ivy started to panic. The ten-year-old next to us looked over with concern. The Pirate Ship got higher and higher. Ivy started to panic more and more. I started to worry that I’d have to do that thing where I put my hand over my mouth and raise my other hand to get the ride to stop.
I needed to think quickly. Remember how Ivy likes nicknames (Ivy Thoughts Part 2)? I pulled her close to me, leaned in, and said, “You’re OK Jake Sully, you’re brave.” Jake Sully is the main character in Avatar, for those who don’t know, which I assume is pretty much everyone. That was her recent brave character and once she heard she was Jake Sully and she was brave, she got through it.
When we got off the ride I was ecstatic, and so was Ivy. “Did you love it?!” I asked her.
“No.”
“You didn’t like it?” I asked.
“I no like that one, it make my body feel icky.” Later she told my whole family she didn’t like the Pirate Ship because it tickled her tummy.
That said, with great risk sometimes comes great reward. Like the trip to Six Flags in general, I knew the trip would be memorable because it would be equal parts fun and hard. The Pirate Ship, the biggest risk I took at Six Flags (to that point), became the number one thing Ivy talked about. For weeks she would talk to Beth and I about the Pirate Ship she rode.
Our visit was during Fright Fest. If you haven’t been to Fright Fest at Six Flags, it’s no joke. It’s a pretty intense experience. There are tons of people dressed up as monsters. From five-foot-tall women dressed as witches to 20-foot-tall creepy tree-armed monsters, to long-nosed creatures with sparks on their feet that skate around.
An announcement would come over the loudspeakers every couple hours during the day. The announcement stated that no one was safe after 7:00pm. The park would turn into a horror zone at that point.
My dad, Dresdan, Garrick, and I got off the ride Twisted Colossus and as we stepped off, we heard 3 creepy gongs. Fright Fest was starting. We didn’t know where Ivy and my mom were. My mom hadn’t had her phone for hours. The last message we had received stated that Cambria was with them at Wonder Woman. I rushed over. I didn’t want Ivy to be without me when the horror started. As I rushed toward Wonder Woman, I hit a wall of people holding their phones up over the crowd. There was a stage with a cleared path leading up to it. Suddenly dozens of people dressed in creepy costumes came parading toward the stage. Then pandemonium broke out. The monsters started running around, skating and creating sparks, and scaring everyone. People started running around. It felt genuinely dangerous for a moment.
We rushed to Wonder Woman and couldn’t find Ivy or my mom anywhere. I started trying to guess where my mom would take Ivy to protect her from the chaos. Surely the kids’ zone was still safe since it just started right? We started heading across the park to where the kids’ rides were. We had been warned. Nowhere was safe. We approached the kids’ zone which had become covered in a white fog created by smoke machines.
I practically ran through the kids’ area looking for them. We headed for the front of the park. I looked through the windows of every restaurant or shop, thinking they might have sought refuge there. My last two guesses of where they might be were the gift shop or the Grand Carousel. From a distance, we saw them at the carousel. My mom informed us that they had been riding the carousel for the last 45 minutes, over, and over.
We all sat at a table as we watched the horror start to approach from a distance. Ivy was sitting in her stroller and I turned her so she was facing away from a horde of approaching monsters. I fully intended to leave. Ivy couldn’t survive here. She wouldn’t sleep for years after an evening at Fright Fest. I still remember watching Chucky at a much too young age. These monsters were in real life.
I started talking to Ivy about it to gauge her feelings about being surrounded by monsters. We started discussing staying. I decided, if there was any chance we were going to stay, then the monster situation needed to be met head-on. So I picked up Ivy and walked towards the biggest scariest monster I could see. The reason I chose the biggest and scariest wasn’t to just get to the point. I actually chose the biggest monster because I thought she could see it from a distance and not have to get too close. So I walked towards one of these:
I showed Ivy and she immediately hugged me, hid her face, and said “No, no, no.” I walked away from the monster. Surprisingly, it was all uphill from there. We decided to take a route we thought would avoid monsters to get some food. We had pizza and then had to go through a path that was completely decked out for Fright Fest. It was like a haunted house built into a creepy trail. Inexplicably, Ivy took a liking to the monsters. I went from avoiding them at all costs to leading Ivy up to each one to say hi.
We made our way to Tatsu. While waiting in line, Ivy requested a special trip to go say hi to more creepy monsters. So I left the line and Ivy and I went monster hunting.
We came back to Tatsu in time for me to ride. This was where Ivy got more upset than she had all day. More upset than the Pirate Ship, more upset than the monsters, she was extremely disappointed that she couldn’t ride Tatsu.
The lesson from this trip ended up being: with great risk comes great reward. The three things Ivy has constantly talked about since our trip have been the Pirate Ship, the monsters, and Tatsu. Months later Tatsu is still the motivation for Ivy to eat all of her meals. She needs to eat all of her food so she can get big and strong to ride Tatsu.
Ivy ended up falling asleep at 10:00pm. For those following the timeline here, that was in the car 6:00am-12:30pm, lunch at Wendy’s 12:30-1pm, nonstop rides 1:00pm-7:00pm culminating in 10 consecutive rides on the carousel, and hunting monsters 7:00pm-10:00pm. We ended up leaving at 12:30am. That’s a Quackenbush day at Six Flags.
And with that, our first (of many) Six Flags trips had concluded, and the next day we were on our way home after a Denny’s breakfast, frozen treat in hand.
Christ fulfilled the law. This was why blood sacrifices were done with after His last and great sacrifice. But what does this mean, practically?
The Israelites practiced God’s law which was a law of reparations. You take out the eye of an enemy maliciously, you take out his eye. Someone kills your brother, you kill him. The problem with this is obvious. Blood begets blood and when does it end?
This is why the Israelites practiced the law of sacrifice. They took an animal, that had nothing to do with bloodshed, or theft, or lying, and instead of continuing the constant cycle of reparations, they sacrificed the blood of the animal. This is obviously what Christ represented when He died on the cross. He paid the price for all our sins, because we are incapable of paying such a price.
This is why Christ preached a higher law. No longer was it an eye for an eye but it was turn the other cheek. No longer was it sue for damages but give your second coat. Christ’s point was that after He died for our sins, animal sacrifices would be done away with, there was no more putting your sins off on a goat. Christ was teaching the end of strife. Someone wrongs you, forgive them and move on. This put an end to the vicious cycle of payback and recompense.
Who was the greatest example ever of this? Jesus Christ never asked us to do something He didn’t do first, when He was up on the cross, and forgave those who had scourged, beaten, and crucified Him.
But of course, justice still had to be paid for a wrong done. That’s where Christ came in, paying the ultimate and last sacrifice with His blood. So, we flawed human beings, who sometimes commit wrong without even meaning to, can be forgiven. This is the miracle of what Christ did for us, the miracle of His atonement, the miracle of His forgiveness, and the miracle of the higher law.
After a discouraging post last week, and on this Thanksgiving day when there’s so much to be grateful for, it’s time for another happy installment of Ivy Thoughts. Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 for reference.
We had a bit of a fly infestation in our area for a couple weeks. Flies were in our home. We talked to neighbors and learned it was everyone. This led to a couple weeks of me constantly swatting flies. It became a fun recreational activity for me. Make lemonade out of lemons kind of thing. Now, Beth says if Ivy hears her make any loud sound in the kitchen, Ivy will yell, “You killin a fly mommy?”
All these dead flies have led to another interesting development. We were on a trip to the Grand Canyon and Ivy started talking about how someone died. I looked at Beth questioningly. I hadn’t heard Ivy talk about death before. Beth asked me if I knew where this discussion on death was coming from. I started scouring my memory for books we’d read, shows we’d watched, movies we’d seen, discussions we’d had in front of her. I couldn’t come up with anything. Beth informed me that Ivy’s interest (or knowledge in?) death started after all the dead flies she’d been seeing. It’s crazy what these kids pick up and how they learn things.
We went to an NBA Finals party at a friend’s house. Ivy and Sage were the only two kids invited. They’re cool like that. But it was basically a bunch of guys I play basketball with, a couple wives/girlfriends, then Beth and I with our two girls. The hosts got Ivy a box of Barbies to play with. This was Ivy’s first experience with Barbies and boy did she take to them. The next day Beth reported an exchange Ivy had with her Fisher Price Little People (her old favorite toys). It was a reenactment that went something like this, “People say, ‘What you want for Christmas?’ And I say ‘ummm I want Barbies like at the party’ and they say, ‘okay we tell Santa.’”
SageSage
I was reading Ivy a bedtime book. Somehow, this night, she got ahold of Beth’s phone during bedtime and was scrolling through Beth’s pictures, which are almost all Ivy and Sage, obviously. Ivy wasn’t paying much attention to the book. I thought about giving up, but reading to her at night is one of my favorite parts of any day. It wasn’t the first time I was reading to an un-captivated audience. In an attempt to get Ivy’s attention, I said, “Look! A fireman!” Pointing to a fireman in the book. Ivy, without looking up from the phone, said, “That’s right, Dad.” It was a terrifying look into my future.
The very next morning Ivy and I were sitting on the couch eating fruit and watching the only movie that was allowed in our home while Ivy’s awake for 6 months, the Polar Express. She was entranced by Polar Express, despite it being her (twice a day for ~6 months, let’s go with) 360th viewing. I said to her, “These strawberries are really good.” Without looking away from her movie she replied, “That’s right, Dad.”
Proud moments are one of the best parts of being a parent. Proud moments happen about as often as “not proud” moments. We try our best to laugh at the not proud moments and dwell on the proud moments. A “not proud” moment is every time Ivy throws food on the floor. I had a recent proud moment. It was just her and I hanging out in the living room. Beth and Sage were napping. Ivy and I were trying to decide what we wanted to do. Options included playing a game, building a tower, or playing with her Little People.
Then Ivy caught me off guard. She said, “We clean?”
I responded, “You want to clean the room?”
Ivy said, “We clean. Mommy be so proud?”
I told Ivy that Mom would be so proud if we cleaned the room. Instead of playing a game, we spent the next 30 minutes cleaning the room. It was awesome.
I don’t know how Beth will feel about me sharing this story but it’s too funny. Also, it’s not true, so it’s fine. For whatever reason, Ivy got obsessed with the idea of stinky breath. For other random obsessions see other Ivy Thougts posts for mentions of Zach, fried rice, and puppets. I believe this obsession originated from Beth telling Ivy she needed to brush her teeth, or her breath would stink. The other day, Beth was cuddling with Ivy on the couch. Ivy was sitting with her head on Beth’s shoulder. Beth looked down at Ivy and said, “I love you. I’m so glad I get to be with you.” Ivy looked up at Beth and said, “Your breath stink.”
Sage
Do you have a little hype person for every time you go to the bathroom? I do. We recently had a road trip back from St. George to Arizona. We stopped 4 times. Every time I took Ivy with me to the bathroom and every time she stood behind me at the urinal and said, “Go Daddy go! Go Daddy go!” She’s been doing this for months and it’s really quite encouraging.
I showed Ivy a picture of her as a baby and asked, “Do you know who that is?”
“Sage,” she responded.
I told her, no, that was baby Ivy.
She responded, “Oh… I love her.”
We should all love ourselves the way Ivy loves baby Ivy.
Here we are 10 months later. I encourage anyone to go read my original post. I just did. It helped me refresh in my mind the complexity of this issue. This issue clearly isn’t going away in our lifetimes. I think it’s only a matter of time before this issue could impact our actual lives so it’s good to be aware of what’s going on.
Before I write this, be aware that I am aggressively avoidant of the news. It’s so conflicting and I don’t trust it. If I’m going to look into this topic, I’m going to do a lot of research and reading. Beth just said she didn’t know how to interpret the news because she’ll hear one thing and then the complete opposite from moment to moment. So, some of what I write here might be considered politically incorrect. I don’t care.
I recently accidentally listened to a soundbite from the Republican presidential debate. Someone was asked what Israel should do to the terrorists, Hamas. The response was so… aggressive. I had a bunch of other adjectives there at first, for what the response was. I removed them because I don’t want to offend anyone. That said, I will voice my opinion here. I hope anyone reading who would use aggressive terms about what Israel should do will consider the complexity of the situation before proclaiming that Hamas must be destroyed by any means necessary.
I just went to search for exactly what was said by that Republican candidate and found an article in the Washington Post with the title:
“Candidates use violent rhetoric on Israel-Gaza war without mentioning humanitarian aid“
I think it’s immensely important to remember that the pursuit of vengeance is causing more atrocities to be performed.
Terrorism is bad. Obvious statement? Of course. So is retaliation, withholding food, water, and medical supplies to innocent people, bombing hospitals, war crimes.
Division.
Pro-Israel or pro-Palestine. These are labels.
This entire world is focused on creating more divisions among us. Satan reigns in the hearts of men.
The world is not black and white. The Book of Mormon is a story of two groups of people that couldn’t coexist. They had a centuries-long feud based upon an argument over the right to rule. It is written from the perspective of the Nephites so it can often incorrectly be characterized as a story of good guys versus bad guys. The story of the Nephites and the Lamanites is not a story of good guys and bad guys. It is a story of two groups of people with differing views, ideologies, politics, and cultures that each felt they were in the right.
The world is not black and white. It is seldom as simple as good guys and bad guys. That’s what we’re seeing in the Middle East right now. A study of the Book of Mormon can show us exactly where this kind of feud leads. It can only lead to complete destruction on both sides.
Some quotes from my last post on this conflict –
“What’s worse is what is being done to Israeli people, we are becoming animals.”
Two Blue Lines
“It’s clear that there will not be peace if we continue to demolish innocent peoples’ houses…”
Two Blue Lines
“All former Shin Bet (Israel’s internal security service, think the FBI) leaders were unanimous; Israel must talk with the terrorists. They must talk with anyone that might talk to them. Peace cannot come through military or tactics or fighting or intelligence.”
The two great commandments of God are to love and to love (Matthew 22:36-40).
This conflict doesn’t end until forgiveness and love supersede vengeance and bloodshed.
Now, look at the cover picture, at the top of this post. Look at it closely. Stare at it. Put yourself there. Be the man in that picture for a fraction of a second. I did. That’s why I’m writing this post. My heart breaks for those caught in a war. My heart breaks for those who want nothing to do with this conflict, caught in between angry, vengeful, hateful factions. My heart breaks for men and women holding their dead children in their arms.
I am not Pro-Israel or Pro-Palestine. I am Pro-peace. I believe we all should be.
No Coincidences 