A Letter to my Brother

You think you’ve lived.

You think you’ve loved.

You think you’ve cried.

You think you’ve felt.

You haven’t felt anything yet.

Prepare yourself.

When that baby girl is born in June you’ll realize in one momentous second that you’ll never be the same.

It’s the strangest thing. You’ve thought this whole time you’ve had a life and then in one moment you realize, “Woah.” Words can’t describe the moment a child is born. “Heart expanding” isn’t all encompassing enough. You’ve never had a heart until now. You realize all of a sudden every capacity to care and love that your being has possessed pales in comparison to this overwhelming feeling of care and protection you have for this helpless thing.

It’s the craziest thing.

Advice.

Don’t blink. Dwell on how quickly time passes just enough to kick yourself into gear. So that when you’re tired, and, oh, you think you’ve been tired before now? You’ve never known tired. When you’re tired and grumpy and thinking you can’t wait until they just get out of diapers, or put on their own pants, or pour their own cereal, until you remember one day will be the last diaper, the last time helping them put on pants, the last time pouring their cereal. Remember every day that one day will be the last day for all these things, and it makes it easier.

Don’t watch those “memories videos” iPhones make at any point after having a daughter. Unless you have 3 hours to spare melting into a puddle of sadness, joy, despair, and existential crisis thinking about how time goes by. And your girl grows.

Don’t dwell on this too much or your heart will explode out of your chest.

Don’t let the time go by without noticing.

Don’t hate the sleepless nights too much, because, dare I even say, one day you’ll miss them.

Many a father has experienced a new level of emotion when considering that their baby girl will one day grow up.

So don’t miss a moment.

Don’t listen to Beautiful Things once you have a daughter. Your heart can’t take it.

Be careful listening to any songs.

Be prepared for movies you used to enjoy taking on a whole new meaning. Hook is no longer a fun story about Peter Pan, it’s a story of fatherhood.

You’ll have the HIGHEST highs and the lowest lows.

In 5 years you’ll be a new person. You won’t even realize it’s happening. But one day you’ll realize, in an all-powerful moment – you are a new person. Probably a better person. You’ll learn so much you didn’t know you needed to learn.

Your faith will grow. Your faith will be tested.

Be a good father, and husband, at all costs. Nothing else matters as much as this.

Be careful not to miss what she teaches you. Be like her.

Don’t forget that children are angels sent from heaven and because of that, God will always watch over them, and you.

Don’t forget to take her everywhere you can.

Don’t forget that even sickness can be a blessing.

ALWAYS embrace the chaos.

I guess I could go on forever. But most of it you’ll have to learn on your own.

Since you won’t be listening to Beautiful Things anymore I’ll give you my version:

And I thank God every day
For the girls He sent my way
But I know the things He gives me
He can take away

And I hold them every night
And that’s a feelin’ I never want to lose
But there’s no man as terrified
As the man who stands to lose

Don’t be terrified. Just know time flies. Don’t waste it. Welcome to fatherhood.